1. "Abe Lincoln would not have" gone on Funny or Die, Bill O'Reilly says.
2. Meanwhile, on the celebrity gossip websites:
AshleyMadison.com is offering a cool $1 million for the rights to an 8 mm film purportedly showing former Pres. John F. Kennedy, his brother Robert, and iconic sex symbol Marilyn Monroe engaged in a ménage à trois.
On the one hand, I have a hard time believing that either of the Kennedy brothers would agree to being filmed. On the other hand, I guess if you're having sex with Marilyn Monroe, you'd probably want a record of that.