Monocles Are "Back" According to a New York Times Story That Is Not the Most Important News of the Day But Definitely the Most Haunting: I mean, he looks patently evil. How can you have a monocle a not be a bad guy? Unless you're The New Yorker's logo, Eustace Tilley, and anyway he isn't wearing a monocle, he's holding it at a distance, because monocles are inherently creepy. Take it away, weird New York Times Style Section tone: "The one-lensed eyepiece, an item favored by 19th-century military men, robber barons and Mr. Peanut, is finding itself wedged anew into the ocular sockets..." etc.

The Lack of an Oxford Comma in That There Sentence Is Infuriating: You do all that other starchy bluster but you can't bring yourself to wedge a clarifying and beautiful little serial comma into the sentence, New York Times? Just a little nick of ink right there? A couple pixels? Freaking jerks.

OK, So, News—U.S. Senate Does Not Seem Interested in Fixing Military's Sexual Assault Crisis: There was "a controversial bipartisan bill to remove military commanders from decisions over the prosecution of sexual assault cases in the armed forces," but it was rejected yesterday. This is one of those cases where what Rand Paul says is actually totally right: “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.” Or as Anna put it yesterday on Slog, "I'm so angry I can't actually process it."

But Our State Senate Just Passed a Very Good Law: To make it possible for courts to ask people convicted of domestic violence to surrender their guns. Seems like a no-brainer, right? Crazy it wasn't already the law. Plus: "One quarter of domestic violence perpetrators who kill their spouses had been served with a protection order before doing so. Many of these murders are carried out with a fire arm." If you've never read Anna's piece about domestic violence and shootings, it's required reading.

Anna Has Been Killing It on Slog Lately, Don't You Think? She was at the (long) minimum wage town hall on Wednesday and heard lots of people speak, including Anh Tran, who gave a barn-burner on gender pay equity, and restaurateur Angela Stowell, who employs 200 people and supports a "total compensation" approach: "We wholeheartedly support a minimum wage increase... But our servers and bartenders actually make over $30 an hour just in tips. So a phasing-in possibly, and certainly a total compensation is going to be the smart" way to go, in Stowell's opinion. She offered to open her businesses' books to the council. (Businesses'? Is that right? It's early. Pretty sure it's businesses'.)

New Allegations Against Ex-King County Sheriff's Deputy: "A fired sheriff’s deputy alleged to have stolen drugs while working for the DEA hoped to use a gang of strippers to take over the Shoreline drug trade in suburban Seattle, federal investigators now contend."

Did Mars Hill Church Buy Its Way Onto the New York Times Bestseller List in 2012? "A church in Seattle is answering some uncomfortable questions after proof surfaced that they had paid an outside firm over $200,000 to ensure the placement of a book by their pastor on various bestseller lists," writes Julia Fleischaker at Melville House Books. Carolyn Kellog at the Los Angeles Times explains: "The spike onto a bestseller list and then disappearance — as opposed to an up-and-down arc, or a high debut followed by a decline — can indicate something other than typical consumer book-buying behavior."

Designs for a New Entrance to Pike Place Market: has a bunch of artist renderings of what it will look like.

Safeway and Albertsons Are Hooking Up: "Safeway said in February that it was looking into putting itself up for sale," the AP reports via And Albertsons was all, "Yeah, sure, I'd tap that." The price? Somewhere in the neighborhood of $9 billion.

Lucha Libre Mexican Wrestling Trying to Go Legit: Al Jazeera reports, "Twice in the past month, luchadores have stormed the rotunda in Olympia (actually, they carpooled wearing dress shirts and ties, but hyperbole is an important element in wrestling culture). Once inside, they removed their masks — a big deal, as masked mystique is a big part of lucha libre — and asked state legislators to remove their sport from a regulatory headlock." State Rep. Zack Hudgins agrees: "This is theater. Performance. Spectacle. The regulations should fit that."

Density Gets a Little More Dense: These homeowners in Ballard are upset that a developer is allowed to build new construction ten inches away from their house.

OK, Now Let's Look at Something Relaxing: How bout, like, a really sleepy tiger? Maybe resting on a big, stone sculpture? Yes, sure, that sounds great.