Slog

Slog Music

Music, Nightlife,
and Drunks

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Cow Economics Finally Gets Real

Posted by on Tue, Feb 25, 2014 at 1:41 PM

We know what happens to two cows under socialism, communism, capitalism, and so on. But nothing will ever beat what happens to two cows in our economy, the economy dominating the world, financialized capitalism:


ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND (VENTURE) CAPITALISM

You have two cows.

You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of

credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a

debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all

four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.

The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a

Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who

sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.

The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on

one more.

You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving

you with nine cows.

No balance sheet provided with the release.

The public then buys your bull.


There it is.

 

Comments (3) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
Fnarf 1
You just described the Icelandic banking system circa 2007.
Posted by Fnarf http://www.facebook.com/fnarf on February 25, 2014 at 2:27 PM · Report this
lark 2
Good Afternoon Charles,
Yeah, that's a pretty clever way of putting it, our financialized capitalistic system.

It is intriguing. "You have two cows, you sell three of them..."

Somehow this reminds me of the film, "The Producers" which I believe became a musical comedy. The premise as I recall is about two NYC Jewish producers down on their luck, who decide to produce a musical about Adolph Hitler ("Springtime for Hitler"). The assumption is that the musical would be SO unpopular, a flop in NYC that they would lose money (borrowed?), file for bankruptcy, not worry about paying their debts and even make money themselves. Much to their chagrin the musical becomes enormously popular.
Posted by lark on February 25, 2014 at 3:08 PM · Report this
3
Yeah, the derivatives "market" is nominally valued at many multiples of the world GDP and of any underlying assets that those derivatives use for "collateral". Hold on to your cows!
Posted by la Michon on March 7, 2014 at 12:11 PM · Report this

Add a comment

Advertisement
 

Want great deals and a chance to win tickets to the best shows in Seattle? Join The Stranger Presents email list!


All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC
1535 11th Ave (Third Floor), Seattle, WA 98122
Contact | Privacy Policy | Terms of Use | Takedown Policy