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Sunday, February 16, 2014

Slog Bible Study: Deuteronomy 25:11-12

Posted by on Sun, Feb 16, 2014 at 6:00 AM

Deuteronomy 25:11-12
If two men fight together, and the wife of one draws near to rescue her husband from the hand of the one attacking him, and puts out her hand and seizes him by the genitals, then you shall cut off her hand; your eye shall not pity her.

Discuss.

 

Comments (22) RSS

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1
It's easier to believe that the event described actually happened, and was then written about post-chop, than to believe that Moses actually sat around and thought of scenarios like this to add to a sermon.

Posted by maryland on February 16, 2014 at 6:30 AM · Report this
2
The author of "Deuteronomy" no doubt wast thinking of a very specific incident.
Posted by Clayton on February 16, 2014 at 6:30 AM · Report this
Dr. Z 3
@1: "Wait, hold the presses. There's a new one I need to add involving a prom dress and a catapult. Ah, too late?"
Posted by Dr. Z on February 16, 2014 at 6:35 AM · Report this
4
A friend of mine loves to annoy the Fundies with this verse! And how does she grab the guy by the nuts if they''re all wearing robes?
Posted by pat L on February 16, 2014 at 6:45 AM · Report this
Banna 5
Don't be an emasculating bitch and let your man fight his own battles?
Posted by Banna http://www.ucp.org on February 16, 2014 at 6:51 AM · Report this
6
This actually describes an incident from Sumeria Slam 3000 BC, when the Israelite tag team championship match was tainted by interference from manager Miss Esther.
Posted by Pope Buck I on February 16, 2014 at 6:55 AM · Report this
Pope Peabrain 7
However, if she sticks a finger up his ass, you should praise her and give her a bar of soap.
Posted by Pope Peabrain on February 16, 2014 at 7:29 AM · Report this
Clara T 8
I think what God was trying to say is: "now, if your bitch in my shit, it's your bitch you check, nigga" - Dr. Dre 2:13
Posted by Clara T on February 16, 2014 at 7:44 AM · Report this
rob! 9
@3 earned a guffaw. You should totally write a new book. Maybe call it Ishka-Bible?
Posted by rob! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZBdUceCL5U on February 16, 2014 at 8:22 AM · Report this
10
Bronze age pro-wrestling had some quite specific rules.
Posted by dutchie on February 16, 2014 at 8:36 AM · Report this
11
I've been watching "Cops" for years and I can't remember a single episode where the cops were called out to a two-man fight where the wife of one of the men was intervening by grabbing the other man's junk.
Posted by originalcinner on February 16, 2014 at 9:18 AM · Report this
12
My husband says this rule is "no low blows". The wife can help, but only by punching above the waist.
Posted by diane b on February 16, 2014 at 9:31 AM · Report this
Reverse Polarity 13
Is this something like a precursor to the Stand Your Ground laws? Preemptively lop off her hand before she proves she's too macho for either of the boys?
Posted by Reverse Polarity on February 16, 2014 at 9:52 AM · Report this
TheMisanthrope 14
Pronoun hell. Which guy's genitals is she grabbing?
Posted by TheMisanthrope on February 16, 2014 at 10:20 AM · Report this
15
Hrm, the passage after that also seems scrotal in nature:

13 “You shall not have in your bag differing weights, a heavy and a light.
Posted by ChefJoe on February 16, 2014 at 10:54 AM · Report this
16
I am honestly confused as to whose genitals she is supposed to be grabbing.
Posted by Lack Thereof on February 16, 2014 at 11:33 AM · Report this
smade 17
Or, according to the Urban Dictionary Revised Version (UDRV): "Bros before hos."
Posted by smade on February 16, 2014 at 12:00 PM · Report this
18
Bad cases make bad law.
Posted by RonK, Seattle on February 16, 2014 at 2:14 PM · Report this
19
@9 -- Hah! Haven't seen or heard a reference to him in years. Points!
Posted by Calpete on February 16, 2014 at 4:07 PM · Report this
rob! 20
:)
Posted by rob! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZBdUceCL5U on February 16, 2014 at 4:37 PM · Report this
blackhook 21
The author of "Deuteronomy" no doubt wast thinking of a very specific incident.

Clayton @ #2, please have some respect for The Lord God His Royal Highness! ...you as a heathen can just prepare to roast in Hell ...or to freeze in North Dakota!
Posted by blackhook on February 17, 2014 at 3:59 AM · Report this
NaFun 22
Didn't we do this one already? Do the one about God calling in some bears to kill children for mocking a bald man next!
Posted by NaFun http://www.dancesafe.org on February 17, 2014 at 10:54 AM · Report this

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