Giving Her a Giant Bear? Remember to Fuck First!
by Dan Savage
on Wed, Feb 12, 2014 at 11:17 AM
"File this one under 'creepy yet surprisingly hot,' Dan," writes Slog tipper Christine. "It's a Valentine's Day commercial for Vermont Teddy Bears that features a straight couple where he gives her a life-sized teddy bear. He hands it over to her and it is obvious she prefers the bear to the human. You gotta see it for yourself. Maybe an MFB threesome—or does he just like to watch?!?
The ad opens with nod to penis-size anxiety among men—why not compensate with a giant plush toy?—and quickly works in a nod to how-fat-is-my-ass anxiety among women. So that seems fair. But I'm curious if anyone has ever received one of these furgly things from someone they were fucking—and if, after receiving it, you ever fucked that person again.
But my standard advice for Valentine's Day applies if you're thinking about giving your girlfriend—or boyfriend—a giant teddy bear on Friday: Unless your girlfriend is a furry or a plushophile, fuck first. Fuck before you give her the bear. Because you're not going to get fucked after you give her the bear.