My phone went crazy this morning with "Breaking News" alerts trumpeting the startling development that House Republicans will not launch another terrorist attack on our nation's economy. "Boehner Will Bring ‘Clean’ Debt-Limit Bill for House Vote," the New York Times headline screamed:

WASHINGTON — Facing a rebellion over his latest debt ceiling proposal, Speaker John A. Boehner has told House Republicans that he will bring legislation to a vote on Wednesday that would raise the government’s borrowing authority with no strings attached.

“House Republican leaders told members this morning that it is clear the paid-for military COLA provision will not attract enough support, so we will be bringing up a ‘clean’ debt limit bill tomorrow,” a Republican official said, referring to a plan on veterans’ benefits. “Boehner made clear the G.O.P. would provide the requisite number of Republican votes for the measure but that Democrats will be expected to carry the vote.”

So the big breaking news is that the Speaker of the House—presumably a patriot—will allow a majority of members to vote on raising the imaginary debt ceiling, thus avoiding a historic and catastrophic financial default. You know, he's allowing a majority of members to decide whether to pay the bills Congress has already appropriated.

In other words, the breaking news is that John Boehner is doing his job. My God, what a low bar we set for politicians these days.