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Monday, February 10, 2014

Terry Hosted an Impromptu Fundraiser for Planned Parenthood This Weekend

Posted by on Mon, Feb 10, 2014 at 1:59 PM

This is the first thing I read on Sunday morning...

My response:

Yes, I ran to the Pope and tattled on Catholic Lisa. I thought Francis should know that Catholic Lisa wasn't in church on Sunday morning, where she belonged, but online, concern trolling a gay dude about his asshole. (Which, for the record, is just fine. Also for the record: "gay bowel syndrome" is bullshit—unlike, say, "rapist priest syndrome.") Me and Catholic Lisa, who I'd never had the pleasure of meeting before, proceeded to get into a little twitter spat. In all honesty, Slog, I let her have it. I figured if this woman wanted to spend her Sunday morning talking about gay assholes, I was going give her all the gay asshole she could handle.

I also let her have this and this and this.

The next thing I knew I was tweeting back and forth about my asshole with Catholic Lisa (who insists she not homophobic, it's just that gay people are disgusting and we make her vomit), other gay men were jumping in about their assholes, then I was debating Catholic Lisa's assholery with Catholic Joel Connelly. We were at full-blown twitter war! It continued through breakfast and raged on even after I got my ass to gay church, a.k.a. the gym, with Episcopalian Terry, my gay husband. (His asshole, for the record, is more than fine.) Terry was getting annoyed about how Catholic Lisa was distracting me from my spotting duties. Which lead to this exchange between Catholic Lisa and Episcopalian Terry:

When Catholic Lisa tweeted at me again, Terry donated $50 to Planned Parenthood in Catholic Lisa's name and tweeted her a picture of the receipt. She tweeted at me again, Terry donated again in Catholic Lisa's name. She tweeted at me again, Terry donated again. Catholic Lisa kept on tweeting at us. She claimed that she was being bullied and posted my high school graduation picture as proof. Then Terry asked his followers to donate to Planned Parenthood, I asked mine to donate to Planned Parenthood, and before the afternoon was over we had raised more than $3,000 for Planned Parenthood—all in Catholic Lisa's name. And this was the first tweet I read this morning:

So my Monday got off to a much better start than my Sunday. Catholic Lisa, for her part, sees our twitter spat like this:

Wrong. Catholic Lisa is free to express her views. No one really gives a shit about her views. We spent the day raising money for Planned Parenthood because Catholic Lisa wouldn't stop blowing up our twitter feed. And Catholic Lisa is wrong about what Planned Parenthood does:


By providing women with contraception—35% of what they do—Planned Parenthood helps to bring down the abortion rate. That's what access to contraception does. And here's the proof. The abortion rate is lower now than it has been at any time since Roe v. Wade thanks to greater access to contraception. So by making contraception services available to women, Planned Parenthood drives down the abortion rate. People like Catholic Lisa—people who oppose abortion—should thank everyone at Planned Parenthood for all that they've done and all that they continue to do to prevent unplanned pregnancies and abortions.

And finally: it's not too late to participate in our impromptu fundraiser for Planned Parenthood! Click here to donate!

One last exchange... after the jump...

Yes, the credit for the fundraiser goes to Terry—and, yes, as anyone who's read American Savage knows, he is the badass in our marriage.


Comments (54) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
Terry, thank you. You rock.
Posted by Hanoumatoi on February 10, 2014 at 2:07 PM · Report this
As an additional comment, treating STD/Is and helping with other women's health services both contribute to healthy pregnancies for women who choose to have kids, thus decreasing dead babies, not increasing. So Lisa should probably put her money where her mouth is and donate a lot of money to PP. It'd save a lot of fetuses! You know, if that's her actual concern.
Posted by Hanoumatoi on February 10, 2014 at 2:09 PM · Report this
jBee 3
Maybe it's my old-person eyes, or that I can only focus on the epic hair, but what does 18-year-old Dan's button say?
Posted by jBee on February 10, 2014 at 2:09 PM · Report this
@3: "You are cordially invited to go fuck yourself."

My mother was displeased with me when the photos came in the mail.
Posted by Dan Savage on February 10, 2014 at 2:10 PM · Report this
I think Dan owes Terry a blow job at the very least for turning his distracting little twitter slap fest into something useful.
Posted by Machiavelli was framed on February 10, 2014 at 2:12 PM · Report this
Pope Peabrain 6
We had the same hairdo! I have a Catholic sister who is rabidly anti-choice. She had an abortion when she was young because her Catholic father would have chucked her in the street if he found out she was pregnant. They are such fucking hypocrites.
Posted by Pope Peabrain on February 10, 2014 at 2:16 PM · Report this
I watched this all unfold on Twitter and "the @SarahMcLachlan of Gay men's assholes" made me spit out my wine. Good one, Dan.
Posted by Luckier on February 10, 2014 at 2:19 PM · Report this
Max Solomon 8
this whole argy-bargy makes me glad I've skipped twitter
Posted by Max Solomon on February 10, 2014 at 2:22 PM · Report this
Far beyond than just providing free and/or inexpensive contraceptives, Planned Parenthood provides education and counseling empowering women to negotiate/demand their use.
Posted by tombaxter on February 10, 2014 at 2:23 PM · Report this
rob! 10
Catholic Lisa and her "friends," like Rick Santorum, also blame "government involvement in healthcare," the CDC, the Affordable Care Act, Obama, the notion of medical zebras, etc. for her delayed diagnosis of Lyme Disease despite the availability in the ever-lovin' free market of a relatively cheap test.

The response to that dumbfuckery, flying monkeys, is to tell your positive stories about finally getting affordable (or any) health-care coverage every chance you get.
Posted by rob! on February 10, 2014 at 2:25 PM · Report this
Something is wrong with the headline: "Terry Hosted and Impromptu Fundraiser for Planned Parenthood This Weekend "
Either: "Terry Hosted an Impromptu Fundraiser for Planned Parenthood This Weekend."
"Terry and I Hosted an Impromptu Fundraiser for Planned Parenthood This Weekend"
Posted by tombaxter on February 10, 2014 at 2:27 PM · Report this
Fucking bitch. Well done Dan.

PS, hate the 'fro. I'd rather do you now.
Posted by JJinAus on February 10, 2014 at 2:28 PM · Report this
Joe Szilagyi 13
It was a blast watching it unfold. I also dare you to set that high school photo as your slog comment profile picture.
Posted by Joe Szilagyi on February 10, 2014 at 2:29 PM · Report this
@4. How in the world did you not get expelled?

Just donated. Didn't think to link to Bigot Lisa, damn it.
Posted by jade on February 10, 2014 at 2:30 PM · Report this
So, I guess it's a #tolerance versus #consequences for @catholiclisa.
Posted by tiktok on February 10, 2014 at 2:33 PM · Report this
Aurora Erratic 16
Oh boy, her KLOUT SCORE increased! I can definitely see why someone would give a single solitary shit about their KLOUT SCORE. That's if they even know what it is.
A good Klout score and two bucks will get you a cup of coffee anywhere in town.
Posted by Aurora Erratic on February 10, 2014 at 2:36 PM · Report this
rob! 17
Fuck. I try to do value-added by putting in a couple of zingy links and I end up half a mile down the page. Well, I'm not gonna tweet it, anyhow.
Posted by rob! on February 10, 2014 at 2:38 PM · Report this
On the scale of spectacular High School photos, that has to be near the top, Dan.
Posted by bgix on February 10, 2014 at 2:38 PM · Report this
If you google "gay bowel syndrome" you'll learn that it doesn't exist. It's just a scary-sounding, inaccurately-phrased description of the fact that receiving anal sex puts you at some risk of tears and STIs in your colon.
Posted by I have always been... east coaster on February 10, 2014 at 2:38 PM · Report this
Donating and putting that it was on Lisa's behalf put a little smile on my face!
Posted by jwlsesq on February 10, 2014 at 2:39 PM · Report this
Never get between a lifter and his weights.
Posted by lucyboots on February 10, 2014 at 2:41 PM · Report this
rob! 22
Sweet exchange with Joel Connelly, btw. Great example of civil but adamant conversation.
Posted by rob! on February 10, 2014 at 2:46 PM · Report this
Dr_Awesome 23
And that cat-lickin' ding dong is claiming more people read some b.s. tweet from Rick Santorum than donated to Planned Parenthood.

She is so deep in her bubble of delusion nothing can penetrate.
Posted by Dr_Awesome on February 10, 2014 at 2:50 PM · Report this
Dr_Awesome 24
@22 and Dan: Wow, that's amazing. Thanks for sharing that, Rob!
Posted by Dr_Awesome on February 10, 2014 at 2:52 PM · Report this
aureolaborealis 25
Just one more thing that makes me want to take a moment to say, Dan, how glad I am that you are. On my behalf. On my wife's behalf. On my two daughters' behalf. Hell, even on Lisa Graas' behalf. This brought joy to my day.
Posted by aureolaborealis on February 10, 2014 at 2:53 PM · Report this
(His asshole, for the record, is more than fine.)

Dear Mr. Savage, I love your parenthetical comments. Thanks to you and Terry for directing so much money to Planned Parenthood. They take care of my uterus way better than the Catholic Church ever did.

Posted by wxPDX on February 10, 2014 at 3:08 PM · Report this
Mattini 27
Being a twitter personality seems exhausting. I'm grateful to have an asshole strangers don't inquire about.
Posted by Mattini on February 10, 2014 at 3:09 PM · Report this
Catalina Vel-DuRay 28
Well, to be fair, Lisa could have gone to 5pm mass on Saturday. You know that, Dan ;-)

I bet she's a convert. The craziest ones usually are.

Posted by Catalina Vel-DuRay on February 10, 2014 at 3:22 PM · Report this
fletc3her 29
I adopted a similar strategy for those people who hold up signs of aborted fetuses. Last time I saw them protesting I donated money to a fund which helps poor women get abortions.…
Posted by fletc3her on February 10, 2014 at 3:23 PM · Report this
Yet another person who confuses "I'm being bullied" with "Someone responded to my freedom of speech with their own."
Posted by DRF on February 10, 2014 at 3:39 PM · Report this
@28: Right you are. Read that on her twitter feed this morning.
Posted by Dan Savage on February 10, 2014 at 3:54 PM · Report this
despicable me 32
Dan, I don't know if you know this but friends of Catholic Lisa have posted on Twitter several times that she is extremely bi-polar and prone to suicidal thoughts and/or threats of self-harm.

With 242,000 Tweets, I believe it.
Posted by despicable me on February 10, 2014 at 3:55 PM · Report this

Dan and Terry, thank you for existing. Seriously, for fighting the good fight as much as you do, while managing to make it a fucking blast and a hoot - thank you.

I donate to PP monthly via bank account deduction, a method which feels so terribly lacking in creativity and joy at the moment ...

Posted by Velvetbabe on February 10, 2014 at 3:58 PM · Report this
Catalina Vel-DuRay 34
Dan dearest, if you and Joel Connelly decide to go to mass together, feel free to stop over for rolls and coffee afterwards. You'll be famished after fasting.
Posted by Catalina Vel-DuRay on February 10, 2014 at 3:59 PM · Report this
I wish Catholic Lisa's mother had killed her in the womb. Oops, was that bullying? My bad.
Posted by treehugger on February 10, 2014 at 4:01 PM · Report this
I don't autistic bipolar person with Lyme disease? I was feeling sorry for her until I read her tweets about the Keystone Pipeline. What on earth does religion have to do with the Keystone Pipeline? She's just a pathetic tool, being used by big corporations to do their publicity for them. I'm glad the money was raised for Planned Parenthood.
Posted by Marrena on February 10, 2014 at 4:07 PM · Report this
forcrimeinitaly 37
That was hysterical. Thanks!
Posted by forcrimeinitaly on February 10, 2014 at 4:37 PM · Report this
Regarding Dan's graduation picture: My friends in the south always said "The higher the hair, the closer to God!"

But then again, they also said "High hair, low morals" so I dunno.
Posted by ProstSeattle on February 10, 2014 at 4:47 PM · Report this
I am Catholic Lisa's asshole. I am so terribly bored because almost all of Lisa's shit comes out of her mouth. I need more exercise. Could you please tweet her about the joys of anal sex? I could use some dick to talk to occasionally.
Posted by CatholicLisa'sAsshole on February 10, 2014 at 4:55 PM · Report this
I am Catholic Lisa's mouth. Could someone please tweet that bitch to shut the fuck up already? I'm sick of her shit. Tasting it, that is. Also, please remind her that a little mouthwash would be nice.
Posted by I"mCatholicLisa'sMouth on February 10, 2014 at 5:02 PM · Report this
saxfanatic 41
Dan, could you introduce me to Cecile Richards? Wotta doll!
Posted by saxfanatic on February 10, 2014 at 6:43 PM · Report this
ɥsɐןɯouǝʌ 42
@39, 40: I've never seen anything like that except in a South Park Episode "A Million Little Fibers" where Oprah's vulva and anus start talking and taking people hostage at gunpoint.
Posted by ɥsɐןɯouǝʌ on February 10, 2014 at 7:00 PM · Report this
Racist, a parent, likes dogs, loves the military, second most popular Catholic on Twitter after the pope (she says), loves Santorum, has 161 tweets over the past 22 hrs, during which she does not seem to have slept, and no one is really talking to her. Prob manic. On disability? Not employed at a 9-5 job for sure. Also blaming Dan for her suicide if she ever kills herself, which puts him in good company as she also threatened to kill herself (and blamed the Pope) when the Pope said gay people maybe weren't evil. So, Catholic but apparently doesn't believe the Pope speaks the word of God? Also Aspergers which w/ the mania explains the inability to disengage. Believes the bipolar has meaning, relates to religion, which prob means she's not motivated to do a good job controlling it, and even if she is, it's clearly not working. Feel real sorry for her kid.
Posted by gnot on February 10, 2014 at 9:36 PM · Report this
@43 Also possible alcoholic.
Posted by gnot on February 10, 2014 at 9:38 PM · Report this
Dan, I can not take you seriously with that 'fro. Too funny.
Posted by tejanojim on February 10, 2014 at 10:11 PM · Report this
very bad homo 46
Excellent work, Terry & Dan & everyone who donated. This made me smile.
Posted by very bad homo on February 10, 2014 at 10:25 PM · Report this
Just so you know, I love you both :)
Posted by squirrely girl on February 11, 2014 at 6:58 AM · Report this
That is some serious hair you had in high school.
Posted by kooshball on February 11, 2014 at 9:28 AM · Report this
Remember folk: better birth control, better sex education, more education PERIOD, all leads to less abortions. So (Hey, you guys showing aborted fetuses) MORE Planned Parenthood, less abortions.

And BTW: how DARE you show pictures of abused human beings! Did you take those poor fetuses away and give them decent burials after you Exploited them in your pictures?
Posted by BG on February 11, 2014 at 11:42 AM · Report this
This is almost as good as the coining of Santorum. A fine example of how to turn hate into support for the good cause. Thank you, you just brightened my day !
Posted by Eudoxia on February 11, 2014 at 2:42 PM · Report this
curtisp 51
Strict Catholic women don't talk much about "down there". I wonder if CatholicLisa knows about the hideous urinary tract infections women can get if they wipe back to front? Perhaps someone should ask her next time she asks a gay man about his anus.
Posted by curtisp on February 11, 2014 at 5:36 PM · Report this
brick1101 52
Listened to the podcast early this morning & just did my donation to Planned Parenthood in Lisa's honor.
In 1943 my dad's sister died a horrible death from a botched abortion. She was 22. Her death pretty much destroyed his family. The fact the Lisa's of the world want to turn the clock back to those dark days of illegal back room abortions sickens me.
Keep up the good make me proud to be gay..
Posted by brick1101 on February 13, 2014 at 7:15 AM · Report this
Just made a donation in honor of Catholic Lisa :)
Posted by profesora.melissa on February 25, 2014 at 6:13 PM · Report this
Just catching up on a few podcasts and thought I would also make a donation on her behalf. I can honestly say that Planned Parenthood would be $50 poorer today if it weren't for the generosity of Catholic Lisa :-)
Posted by RunningShoesBon on March 15, 2014 at 4:38 AM · Report this

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