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Thursday, February 6, 2014

SL Letter of the Day: Tacky Texting

Posted by on Thu, Feb 6, 2014 at 3:33 PM

Originally posted on December 21, 2011.

After an impromptu sex session that left me feeling sleepy and sappy, my partner, who typically feels sleepy and sappy herself after sex, texted someone! The fury that arose within me could not be contained! Neither the text message itself nor its recipient were the issue (it was to a coworker about a work matter), the issue was that she couldn't wait a few minutes to hug and kiss and say "that was hot" before sending a text?!? She thinks I'm overreacting and blames it on me being premenstrual. She has not apologized. How does she not get it? Isn't post-sex texting tacky?

Wasn't That Fucked?

My response after the jump...

Post-sex texting is tacky, WTF, and it's thoughtless. I can understand why you were annoyed. I can also understand why your girlfriend has refused to apologize. If one ill-timed text sent your panties so far up your crack that it unleashed a "fury that could not be contained"—if you raged at your girlfriend for being uncharacteristically inconsiderate (it sounds like she usually makes with the postcoital hugs, kisses, compliments, etc.)—then yours was the greater offense.

Don't get me wrong: Your girlfriend owes you an apology. But you owe her a bigger one, WTF, and yours should come first.

 

Comments (26) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
MacCrocodile 1
Well that was an easy one.
Posted by MacCrocodile http://maccrocodile.com/ on February 6, 2014 at 3:44 PM · Report this
Urgutha Forka 2
So many people have become utterly blasé in regards to sex.

Not a criticism (maybe), merely an observation.
Posted by Urgutha Forka on February 6, 2014 at 3:53 PM · Report this
ryanayr 3
It might be added too that blaming your partner's feelings on their monthly cycle is a serious fratboy shitty move
Posted by ryanayr on February 6, 2014 at 3:53 PM · Report this
4
People who get really worked up about cell phones are as annoying as those that can never put them down.
Posted by giffy on February 6, 2014 at 4:25 PM · Report this
undead ayn rand 5
@3: Absolutely.

Also, sometimes things run through your head when you're having sex. Sometimes random things, especially stressful things. If there's something she had pressing, she blew your mind but the alternative of her stopping the ramp up until work was taken care of would've also inspired a rant.

Get over it.
Posted by undead ayn rand on February 6, 2014 at 4:38 PM · Report this
Nyckname 6
Rock her world harder next time and maybe she won't be composing work texts intracoitus.
Posted by Nyckname on February 6, 2014 at 4:44 PM · Report this
7
"Slightly adhesive or gummy to the touch; sticky." Yep, under the circumstances, texting could well be tacky.
Posted by Eric from Boulder on February 6, 2014 at 4:48 PM · Report this
You_Gotta_Be_Kidding_Me 9
Lesbians are so touchy...
Posted by You_Gotta_Be_Kidding_Me on February 6, 2014 at 5:06 PM · Report this
10
In the words of Latrice Royale: 5 Gs--Good God Girl, Get a Grip!
Posted by decidedlyodd on February 6, 2014 at 5:08 PM · Report this
Fnarf 11
At least she didn't jump up and say "well, that oughta hold ya for a while" and leave.
Posted by Fnarf http://www.facebook.com/fnarf on February 6, 2014 at 5:13 PM · Report this
12
A fury that could not be contained?

First world problems.

Besides, the work thing might have been something she'd forgotten and needed to get to, and didn't want to forget again.

I'd give her credit for conscientiousness to her job, and even more credit for putting up with her miss unnecessary drama pants of a girlfriend.

Posted by Functional Atheist on February 6, 2014 at 5:29 PM · Report this
seatackled 13
I hope the next time she texted about what a lousy lay she had just gotten.
Posted by seatackled on February 6, 2014 at 6:56 PM · Report this
14
To quote Dan in a previous slog letter "don't be a lesbian about it." Forgive this one time and apologize to her and set a post-coital timer for an agreed upon amount of time till regular activities can commence.
Posted by arachnar on February 6, 2014 at 7:50 PM · Report this
15
What sort of resolution are you looking for? If you want her to not do it again, you might just want to suggest a rule that you have a certain amount of personal time for cuddling, etc. after sex. But if you are just looking for her to admit she's wrong, then by all means get mad and make her defensive. Because that always works out well.
Posted by mshawn on February 6, 2014 at 9:19 PM · Report this
16
Maybe when you were fucking her while thinking about somebody else, yes - guys do it all the time, she was also thinking about someone or something else.

Just don't ever tell your wife that you sometimes think of other women while having sex with her because if she is like most women she will totally freak out and probably divorce you.
Posted by Catonaleash on February 6, 2014 at 10:12 PM · Report this
17
Your shagging clearly isn't using up enough energy. Solution: fuck harder :)
Posted by itinerant on February 7, 2014 at 5:09 AM · Report this
18
Dan's totally wrong.

After a hook-up, once it's over you have to respect the other person's right to get the fuck on with whatever they want to. Sending a text isn't any more or less masturbatory than the sex itself; so by me, it's all good.

Rules do not apply to couples/first-time-fuckers etc.
Posted by fetish on February 7, 2014 at 7:51 AM · Report this
19
It's not okay to send a text afterwards, but it is okay to flip out on the partner who just gave you an orgasm.
Posted by treehugger on February 7, 2014 at 8:27 AM · Report this
20
She should be grateful her GF didn't text DURING sex. That would have been harsh.
Posted by Ricardo on February 7, 2014 at 9:06 AM · Report this
Helenka (also a Canuck) 21
As it was an "impromptu" session, her partner could very well have been thinking of work before you approached her unexpectedly. And, even if the sex were terrific, and she was satisfied, she might have been anxious to send the text before she got sleepy and her brain turned to mush - something that would have been more likely to happen if there had been a preset post-sex cuddle time. Sheesh.

Makes me wonder if they're still together.
Posted by Helenka (also a Canuck) on February 7, 2014 at 9:38 AM · Report this
22
@9 , @14 :

Fury That Could Not Be Contained, thy name is Lesbian.
Posted by Doodah on February 7, 2014 at 9:40 AM · Report this
23
@22 - Hell hath no fury like a lesbian scorned.
Posted by Ricardo on February 7, 2014 at 10:14 AM · Report this
24
.... Just cannot believe you actually wrote to an advice columnist about this..... Are you sure you don't have PMS? I mean, the fact you are actually holding a grudge over a one time post-coital text message? Just communicate and move on with your life.
Posted by toenail on February 7, 2014 at 10:18 AM · Report this
25
For me, the elephant in the room is the phone. What the hell is it doing there to start with? I know I am in the minority, but I don't care. What emergencies could there be and how likely are they? Call the police, the fire department, ambulance or taxi. Leave me a message and I'll get it when I get up.
Posted by JJinAus on February 7, 2014 at 12:35 PM · Report this
undead ayn rand 26
@21: Exactly. Annoying work, family, etc takes up way too much space in one's head sometimes. It's not a sign of disrespect towards your partner.

@25: You've never, ever, left a phone on the nightstand? Maybe they were humping on the couch?
Posted by undead ayn rand on February 7, 2014 at 9:09 PM · Report this
27
@26. I have occasionally left it on the side table as a backup for my alarm if I am catching an early flight, but that is it. Shagging on the couch may mean the phone is near by I suppose. Personally I wouldn't answer the damn thing - let alone text - if I am busy or just post busy.
Posted by JJinAus on February 7, 2014 at 9:22 PM · Report this

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