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Wednesday, February 5, 2014

The Morning News: Tobacco Gets Snuffed, Turtles Get Eaten

Posted by on Wed, Feb 5, 2014 at 9:02 AM

CVS To Stop Selling Tobacco Products: The decision will cost them over $2 billion in annual revenue, but CEO Larry Merlo thinks "[T]obacco products have no place in a setting where healthcare is delivered."

Boeing Throwing a Party To Thank Lawmakers For Tax Breaks: Bring your bathing suits, legislators—everyone gets to do a lap in Scrooge McDuck's gold vault this time!

Four Arrested in Connection to Drugs Found at Hoffman's Home: The actor died of an apparent heroin overdose on Sunday, and police were able to trace the drugs to what they believe is the source.

This Is Just a Saga Now: Journalists at Sochi are tweeting their disgusting, dangerous hotel conditions.

I'm Obsessed With This Dude: It turns out he ate birds and turtles.

The Hills Are Alive With the Sound of 12th Man: Get your Thundershirts ready—everyone will be screaming their heads of today in a governor sanctioned moment of loudness.

We Could Have Had Much Cooler Birds: But there was an animal Pompeii 120 million years ago.

Sno—oh no!—mish Part 1: Police are looking for a man they say assaulted an 11-year old girl in Fred Meyer last week.

Sno—oh no!—mish Part 2: There's a city ordinance banning social card games so granny and gramps can't gamble anymore. Fucking BOO!

We Sang a Fun Song At a Church: Pussy Riot was on the Colbert Report last night with their charming, funny selves.

Ludwig van Nope: Japan has had a modern day Beethoven for the past two decades, but it turns out he's a fraud.

Clay Aiken Running for Congress: There's really nowhere else to go after you put on the technicolor dreamcoat.

Woah Woah Woah, Yeah Yeah Yeah: There's a guy singing along to Bruno Mars' "Locked Out of Heaven" in the alley next to my apartment right now. He's pretty good! Thanks for the news soundtrack, Seattle.


Comments (11) RSS

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Peteykins 1
There's more to that CVS story than meets the eye. Eliminating cigarettes and other age-restricted items greatly streamlines their self-checkout system, and means that they'll be able to cut down on staff assistance. I honestly doubt they're doing it because they "care" about their customers' health.
Posted by Peteykins on February 5, 2014 at 9:35 AM · Report this
@1 that *might* pencil out. If it does I wonder if other places will follow suit; it'd be bizarre if cigarettes were finally killed not by healthfulness but by slash and burn business restructuring.
Posted by Foonken2 on February 5, 2014 at 9:45 AM · Report this
dnt trust me 3
@1 well-put, and you too 2.

that supposed 'good-will mission statement' of business can be applied to many others, now that you mention it. It's callous, but I'd lump The Stranger in that category as well, not all the time.
Posted by dnt trust me on February 5, 2014 at 9:53 AM · Report this
I thought it was particularly classy how you used hilarious wordplay to introduce the assault of an 11 year old girl.
Posted by ohthetrees on February 5, 2014 at 10:06 AM · Report this
And Now for the Super-Criminals (And growing number of dead bankers)…

CEO of the UK’s Financial Conduct Authority, Martin Wheatley said :

.... that at least ten banks are being investigated and there is informal coordination of the investigation between the U.S. Department of Justice, the U.S. Commodity Futures Trading Commission, the FCA and Swiss regulators.

Further comment......

Global investigators have accumulated evidence that strongly suggests that traders at the too-big-to-fail banks have been rigging foreign exchange rates in much the same manner that they rigged the interest rate benchmark, Libor.

Unfortunately for the public, Wheatley said it is likely that the investigation will drag into 2015, meaning the public will just have to go on not trusting a marketplace that trades $5.3 trillion a day. (Is this any way to run a global financial system or have we permanently entered the Alice in Wonderland world of finance?)

And about those dead bankers (and one missing Wall Street Journal reporter):…

Surely these sudden departures at Citi and Goldman Sachs couldn't be related, now could they?


And a reminder:

Posted by sgt_doom on February 5, 2014 at 10:51 AM · Report this
rob! 6
Dear Ms. Henderson: The cowboy interjection's preferred spelling is w-h-o-a.

(W-o-a-h is 1) a radio station in Glennville, GA; 2) Warcraft: Orcs and Humans; 3) the World Organisation for Animal Health.)
Posted by rob! on February 5, 2014 at 11:01 AM · Report this
And further news of the day:

A few words from Prof. Hayes on the perils of pesticides:……

Jesse kicking newsy airhead butt:

Of interest to the followers of Anonymous:…

The militarization of the US police:…

Of concern to independent thinking people:…

Posted by sgt_doom on February 5, 2014 at 11:16 AM · Report this
NotSean 8
Governor Sanctioned
... link is wrong.
Posted by NotSean on February 5, 2014 at 11:30 AM · Report this
treacle 9
EO Larry Merlo thinks "[T]obacco products have no place in a setting where healthcare is delivered."

So does that mean CVS will stop selling alcohol as well?
Posted by treacle on February 5, 2014 at 11:51 AM · Report this
keshmeshi 10
I'm sorry, but people who have plumbing systems that can't handle toilet paper live like animals.
Posted by keshmeshi on February 5, 2014 at 1:31 PM · Report this
venomlash 11
@9: Nonsense; how else will you disinfect cuts?
Posted by venomlash on February 5, 2014 at 1:51 PM · Report this

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