CVS To Stop Selling Tobacco Products: The decision will cost them over $2 billion in annual revenue, but CEO Larry Merlo thinks "[T]obacco products have no place in a setting where healthcare is delivered."
Boeing Throwing a Party To Thank Lawmakers For Tax Breaks: Bring your bathing suits, legislators—everyone gets to do a lap in Scrooge McDuck's gold vault this time!
Four Arrested in Connection to Drugs Found at Hoffman's Home: The actor died of an apparent heroin overdose on Sunday, and police were able to trace the drugs to what they believe is the source.
This Is Just a Saga Now: Journalists at Sochi are tweeting their disgusting, dangerous hotel conditions.
I'm Obsessed With This Dude: It turns out he ate birds and turtles.
The Hills Are Alive With the Sound of 12th Man: Get your Thundershirts ready—everyone will be screaming their heads of today in a governor sanctioned moment of loudness.
We Could Have Had Much Cooler Birds: But there was an animal Pompeii 120 million years ago.
Sno—oh no!—mish Part 1: Police are looking for a man they say assaulted an 11-year old girl in Fred Meyer last week.
Sno—oh no!—mish Part 2: There's a city ordinance banning social card games so granny and gramps can't gamble anymore. Fucking BOO!
We Sang a Fun Song At a Church: Pussy Riot was on the Colbert Report last night with their charming, funny selves.
Ludwig van Nope: Japan has had a modern day Beethoven for the past two decades, but it turns out he's a fraud.
Clay Aiken Running for Congress: There's really nowhere else to go after you put on the technicolor dreamcoat.
Woah Woah Woah, Yeah Yeah Yeah: There's a guy singing along to Bruno Mars' "Locked Out of Heaven" in the alley next to my apartment right now. He's pretty good! Thanks for the news soundtrack, Seattle.
And Now for the Super-Criminals (And growing number of dead bankers)
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