Utah Senator Mike Lee began his Teabagger's lament exactly the way a Teabagger should: By talking about the American Revolution. "The Founders made a point at Boston Harbor," he said, "but they made history in Philadelphia." He promoted Teabaggers for fighting the "Boston-type battles," but keeping the thoughtfulness of Philadelphia in mind.

Lee then he launched into Teabagger rhetoric. He said the poor were kept "in poverty by Big Government." Where does inequality come from, according to Mike Lee? Government. (And "crooked union bosses.") Government is "denying viable unborn children any protection under the law." Government is hurting the rights of states to "define marriage as traditionally or as broadly" as they may choose. Lee said that "now, as in 1773, Americans have had it with our out-of-touch national government." He called for Teabaggers to metaphorically march from Boston to Philadelphia, from "protest to progress." Lee went on to list a bunch of prospective teabagger legislation, including a plan to keep infrastructure dollars on roads and not "special interests" (like, presumably, public transportation). He railed against Obamacare for a while. He said Teabaggers like himself would put us "on the road to Philadelphia." At least there's one east-coast liberal city that Lee doesn't want to see wiped off the face of the planet, I guess.

On the whole, Lee has the attitude of a mediocre high school history teacher who tries to sell real estate on the side. His smarmy delivery and overwrought metaphors are a perfect fit for the few dim-bulbs left who associate with the Tea Party, but he's not likely to win any converts. And the Tea Party, after the botched government shutdown of last year, are sorely in need of some new blood.