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Tuesday, January 21, 2014

SL Letter of the Day: The Cool Dad Option

Posted by on Tue, Jan 21, 2014 at 6:15 PM

Originally posted on June 1, 2011

Is it better to stay with your overweight wife—who happens to be the mother of your infant daughter—and cheat on her to get sexual gratification (and be a shit of a husband) or leave her (and be a shit of a father)?

Almost Twice The Wife

My response after the jump...

Cheating shit or leaving shit—are those your only options?

If they are, ATTW, then stay and cheat. Abandoning an infant—to say nothing of abandoning someone with an infant—is a shit move. So is cheating on the mother of your infant daughter, of course, but it's slightly less shitty.

But here's another option: You could go without for six months or a year—you know, like most new parents.

Backing way up: You were presumably attracted to your wife before the baby... otherwise there would be no baby, right? And presumably, the mother of your infant daughter is going without, too, as she's probably too exhausted to bother with sex. Because she just had a baby. She also may not be feeling it for the husband who doesn't find her attractive in her current state—a state he put her in.

Take a little responsibility here, ATTW: You knocked the wife up knowing that pregnancy and its tragic aftermath, aka "parenting," leave new moms with very little time for the gym. If you expected your wife to bounce back to her pre-baby weight in 10 weeks like some sort of celebrity mom, then you needed to get her two nannies, a personal trainer, and a full-time nutritionist like some sort of celebrity mom.

Perhaps I'm being too hard on you, ATTW. For all I know, your wife is one of those lousy spouses who abandon routine physical maintenance once the first kid arrives, because, hey, now you're stuck! Forgoing routine physical maintenance is the mother of all take-you-for-granted moves, one that quickly kills desire and slowly smothers love, and it can constitute grounds for cheating and/or leaving. (Normal and natural aging, health issues that make routine maintenance impossible, etc. do not by themselves constitute grounds.) But it's too soon to know if your wife is one of those lousy take-you-for-granted spouses, ATTW, as your daughter is still an infant.

Masturbate, help out, make sure your wife has the free time she needs to take care of herself, and you may find that you don't have to be any sort of shit.

 

Comments (57) RSS

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1
What a self-centered prick.
Posted by StuckInUtah on January 21, 2014 at 6:20 PM · Report this
2
One of your best responses ever, Dan. I've remembered this one more than any other.
Posted by I have always been... east coaster on January 21, 2014 at 6:23 PM · Report this
3
This is one of my favorites. In addition to the appealing use of logic, if Dan Savage is telling you that going without sex for a while might be the answer, you should probably listen in.
Posted by DRF on January 21, 2014 at 6:25 PM · Report this
Urgutha Forka 4
That marriage is doomed.
Posted by Urgutha Forka on January 21, 2014 at 6:34 PM · Report this
5
I know this letter is old, but the issue is still germane.

How overweight? Christ almighty. I gained 60 some pounds wih each pregnancy. Thankfully I managed to lose most of it, but it took at least a year.

Your wife, the woman to whom you pledged your troth, just produced another human being. Is that not awesome? And you helped! You impregnated the egg, hope the sex was good.

For all you guys out there? Making a person pretty much sucks. It's hard work. Once we perform this magic trick, we're kinda soft. Babies like it that way.

Be gentle, be appreciative and you'll find that we want to have sex just as much you do.

Posted by phuni44 on January 21, 2014 at 6:40 PM · Report this
Ballard Pimp 6
I didn't know assholes like this guy still existed. Wait! Without guys like this, my ladies would be out of business!
Posted by Ballard Pimp on January 21, 2014 at 6:42 PM · Report this
keshmeshi 7
Given that the letter writer seems to be a shitty person, I disagree with Dan's advice. The guy should leave sooner rather than later. He'll be doing his wife and daughter a favor.
Posted by keshmeshi on January 21, 2014 at 6:52 PM · Report this
ams_ 8
This! Is! Terrible! What a piece of shit, cheating or not.
Posted by ams_ on January 21, 2014 at 6:57 PM · Report this
kim in portland 9
I remember this one. Thought it was sad then, and I think it is sad now.
Posted by kim in portland http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2010/11/fast-paced_video_provides_a_fu.html on January 21, 2014 at 7:09 PM · Report this
10
Infant daughter? Give her a few weeks breastfeeding the baby. Oh, and you're no winner yourself, I promise you that.
Posted by treehugger on January 21, 2014 at 7:10 PM · Report this
Jessica 11
Medically, you aren't supposed to have sex for the first six weeks post-partum. For the following six months, she's probably dealing with a spectacular shitstorm of hormones, sleep deprivation, stress, and who knows what else. Take responsibility for some night wakings, pick up 50% of the housework (including the boring stuff like laundry and dishes), and see what happens. And vaginal birth will really mess with a woman's head-- how can someone want to get near me after I passed this? There might also be physical aftereffects from birth and pregnancy that she's dealing with. Grow the hell up and jerk off quietly.
Posted by Jessica on January 21, 2014 at 7:15 PM · Report this
12
I think it's fairly common for a straight guy to lose interest in a female sex partner after he makes her pregnant. "You got the job done w/ that one, time to move on to the next one." his instincts tell him. That's what I've heard from guys I work w/ who have three kids w/ three different women.
Posted by Ken Mehlman on January 21, 2014 at 7:23 PM · Report this
13
Some missing important bits of advice: get a vasectomy. Even if you stay with your wife and desire comes back, you owe it to any sex partner not to get them pregnant if this is your response to a partner having a child.

Step two, while sticking around and being a decent guy is an option, there is also the option of leaving and still being a good father. You could make your child your priority. Leave, but still care for the child, support the child, and be deeply involved in the child's life. It's harder when divorced, but leaving doesn't have to mean being a crappy father. The only reason it does for this guy is that he clearly cares about neither the wife nor the child when thinking about what to do. Such that being a good parent when not forced to by being in the marriage doesn't even occur to him as an option.
Posted by uncreative on January 21, 2014 at 7:36 PM · Report this
14
@12 you work with dogs, if you agree with their assertions do the world a favor and get snipped.

Yuck what a selfish shitbag this guy is. I'm so glad Dan have it to him though I wish he'd gone a little further. Fucking a man, your wife just had a child-her body is different now. Sack up and deal with it.
Posted by jujubee80 on January 21, 2014 at 7:41 PM · Report this
15
Hey I was married to a guy like this! Only he left me while I was still pregnant. Best thing he ever did for me too, because AS IT TURNS OUT he was a huge asshole. I am very happy now.
Posted by Leoba on January 21, 2014 at 7:53 PM · Report this
16
To be fair here, I've met some people that 100% let go of themselves before the baby even arrives. One guy, we all knew his marriage was over the minute she had the positive test. I wonder if this guy JUST caught on to the fact that he got used to produce a baby and is never getting any ever again.
Posted by MameSnidely on January 21, 2014 at 8:07 PM · Report this
Bonefish 17
16: I know! So many women let their stomach just get bigger and bigger as they get more and more pregnant. Like, ALL of them do this!

Is it too much to ask that you broads keep a flat stomach during your pregnancy?

(HURRRRRRRRRRRR)
Posted by Bonefish http://5bmisc.blogspot.com/ on January 21, 2014 at 8:37 PM · Report this
18
Dan's advice is based on the blithe assumption that the woman's body will actually be able to return to its pre-baby status with enough gym time, double nannies, etc. Some changes due to childbirth are permanent in some women. Men on slog have, in the past, admitted that they are simply not attracted to the post-baby body. Dan has been vocal in the past that people who are asexual have no business starting relationships with sexual people. I would submit that men who are only attracted to the nulliparous female body have no business getting any woman pregnant.
Posted by nuts. on January 21, 2014 at 8:41 PM · Report this
19
French women don't get fat. Ditto Asian women. Seems to be a North American problem. He should have picked better.
Posted by Seattle is filled with fat women. Enjoy! on January 21, 2014 at 8:50 PM · Report this
20
The part missing from the last sentence is "and if you do wind up having to act like a piece of shit, at least you will have treated the mother of your child with a modicum of fucking respect."
Posted by supergp on January 21, 2014 at 9:09 PM · Report this
21
1) Did he ever really love her in the first place - doubt it.
2) If he had lost his job and couldn't find a comparable job during the time before the pregnancy would she have found another guy to have a kid with? Probably.
Posted by Catonaleash on January 21, 2014 at 9:11 PM · Report this
22
Given that Mr Savage recently advised outsourcing to a sex worker on a regular basis without either asking what they could afford or providing the Magic Guideline of the General Percentage of Income that it is acceptable to spend on the outsourcing (with the appropriate adjustments for number of dependents), I shall give the 1% answer. Agreeing with those who think the Cool Dad Option won't be in play without extensive self-work of the sort LW doesn't manifest the patience to produce, he should just make over as near a million dollars as makes no difference and leave, knowing the odds to favour that course of action as being the most likely to be a net gain for wife and daughter.

As I am in an even better mood from the tennis, I shall pay the assembled company the compliment of presuming a vast majority to have joined Ms Kim and Ms Cute in catching the reference to Mrs Elton and her fortune of ten thousand pounds or thereabouts (my psychic vibrations for the day are putting the amount at 9,376l, 14s, 3d). I have another analogy as well. LW reminds me of the men of *Cheers* when Carla gets depressed after a fit of desperation leads her into a fruitless attempt to find a partner through the personals. To cheer her up, they invent a pilot with an international schedule, include with some credible correspondence a snapshot that came with a picture frame, and are congratulating themselves on her getting back into form when she shows her usual form by tearing into a much less attractive second man who responds to her ad as someone she might have considered when she was still desperate and depressed before she did so much better. When Carla leaves, the men lament that they didn't see this coming, setting up Diane (who disliked the scheme all along) for the reply, "This from a group that every year fails to see winter coming." What did LW *think* was going to happen?

Additionally, I'll cross-examine him on his standard for "overweight". If, say, to use the most recent quarterfinal match in Australia as an example, he were to set Ms Radwanska as his standard of normal, he might call Ms Azarenka "overweight". Given that it's the eighth word of the letter and the first adjective that comes to his mind for her, I doubt it really matters, but it might be useful self-knowledge entering a future relationship.
More...
Posted by vennominon on January 21, 2014 at 9:19 PM · Report this
undead ayn rand 23
Jerk off, talk to her about buying a fancy sex toy for yourself, do pretty much anything but those two dickweed options.

Here's a better question, were you that attracted to her BEFORE she got pregnant?
Posted by undead ayn rand on January 21, 2014 at 10:38 PM · Report this
24
>> Forgoing routine physical maintenance is the mother of all take-you-for-granted moves... and it can constitute grounds for cheating and/or leaving.>>

Leaving, sure. You don't need grounds for leaving in any case -- wanting to leave usually means you should leave.

But FRPM should only be grounds for cheating if you are so repulsed that sex with your partner is unthinkable. If the two of you still have sex regularly, then you don't get to cheat without guilt.
Posted by EricaP on January 21, 2014 at 10:39 PM · Report this
25 Comment Pulled (Trolling) Comment Policy
26
Everyone seems to assume the weight gain of the wife is the result of the pregnancy. The letter doesn't actually say that. It says she's overweight, and recently had a baby. And the signature suggests the wife is almost twice as heavy as when he married her. Let's assume instead that they've been married for years. She gained lots of weight. He impregnated her. She had a baby (and now, granted, weighs even more) and all that weight has become too much for him. That doesn't excuse the two stupid options he gives, but it does make him look slightly less of a jerk.
Posted by Sandman on January 21, 2014 at 10:45 PM · Report this
Sargon Bighorn 27
Some men should never be allowed to make a woman pregnant with out an 18 month course work program on the subject.
Posted by Sargon Bighorn on January 21, 2014 at 11:10 PM · Report this
28
Mom and baby would both be better off without this fucking asswipe.
Posted by Amanda on January 22, 2014 at 12:01 AM · Report this
undead ayn rand 29
@26: "Let's assume"

Let's not.
Posted by undead ayn rand on January 22, 2014 at 12:53 AM · Report this
30
My ex left me when the baby was not quite 3. He said it was disrespectful that I had gained weight. I went to the gym 4-5 times a week and watched what I ate but I was still nursing and just couldn't lose the weight. Now understand he was not going without. We were still having sex 3 times a week or so. Hell I blew him during the first 6 weeks when we weren't allowed to have intercourse. He has turned out to be the crappiest father ever. He left town when she was 9 and for Christmas this year he sent his 17 year old daughter a check for 20 bucks.
Posted by dearduskyNH on January 22, 2014 at 3:50 AM · Report this
TheMisanthrope 31
CSB time.

One of my uncles has three daughters from the same mother. I think it was within five years.

But, his wife started out as a skinny skinny woman. My mother said she was really tiny. My uncle was also a gym rat. But, when his wife got pregnant, she ballooned up, and couldn't lose the weight. Her hormones had changed, or she had become lazy, depending on whose story you believed. But her family was large. My mother said he tried getting her to diet or get to the gym, but to no avail. She just couldn't lose the weight. Probably in no small part due to genetics. My uncle divorced her before the eldest was 10, and married another very skinny woman and hasn't had any more kids. But, whenever he talked about his ex, it was always in a particularly cruel manner.

When last I saw his ex-wife, at a graduation party, she was probably upwards of 280. It was really unhealthy, and she looked like she was having a tough time because of it. She was a nice woman, from what I know of her. It made me sad though.

In that case, it would seem it fell to Dan's "she was skinny to get married" rule.

This LW is being particularly egregious, because saying his daughter is still an infant, he's already expecting his wife to be back to normal weight. He doesn't say what steps he has taken to help her either. Switch out gym nights, where you watch the kid and do the chores one evening while she goes to the gym, and then she'll do the same. Alternate who is staying up with the kid. You're fucking married. It's not all about you, asshole.
Posted by TheMisanthrope on January 22, 2014 at 6:51 AM · Report this
32
Always look at the mother. If she's fat, chances are your woman will be too. Either that or marry a French or Asian woman. They don't get fat after puppies.
Posted by Why r so many Seattle women overweight? on January 22, 2014 at 7:13 AM · Report this
Eudaemonic 33
Help out until the kid's no longer an infant, then leave. They're both better off without you, dude.
Posted by Eudaemonic on January 22, 2014 at 7:18 AM · Report this
34
Unbelievable!! I mean, really? What a jerk!

I just had my first child in August of last year. I weighed 108 lbs at 5' 4" before becoming pregnant, sky rocketed up to 138 lbs (which for someone petite with a heart problem, I ended up on bed rest and felt huge), and within two months after giving birth I was down to 113 lbs. My daughter is now five months old and I weigh 106 lbs... but my belly is still HUGE!!!! I'm being honest, my belly is not flat at all. It is flabby and sticks out still like I am about five months pregnant. Cause I'm breast feeding, my boobs are now a C cup, and the farthest part of my belly sticks out to where my nipples reach. Since the rest of me is super petite and skinny (my belly is the only big part on me, besides my boobs)... It looks pretty weird and gross on me, and embarrassing. I basically look still pregnant. All the tummy crunches in the world are not helping.

My point is, even if the lady is back at a healthy weight, her tummy could still be huge just cause it was only recently stretched out far from carrying a baby. It takes a long time to tone the muscles back up. It is not only about dropping weight! Not to mention it is hard to find exercise time while tending to a baby, especially if the guy is not helping... and my guy is not helping, but it is because he works seven days a week on night shift and he is exhausted from it. I don't return to work til next month.

I'm fortunate my guy was awesome enough to NOT cheat on me. During the labor the baby got stuck, and I had to have a four degree episiotomy (I was cut from vagina straight down into the rectal muscles). It hurt like hell, and the doctor did not okay me for sex until 12 weeks after the birth. My husband waited patiently and "took care" of himself with lots of online porn and lube. The first time we finally did have sex, it HURT so bad I had to stop him. It did not stop hurting until about the four month mark, and I'll admit that until it stopped hurting I was pretty reluctant to have sex, but now that it feels good again, I'm not. Plus those first few months, my hormones were so out of wack I wasn't even interested. My husband was patient and understanding, and has been kind enough to focus on work and family instead of chasing some strange. The baby only lets us get intimate once a week at max, usually once every two weeks. With him on night shift, it is hard to find time where we can be alone while she is asleep... her nights and days were in sync from birth. My spell is dryer than his cause i don't even get any alone time to masturbate!

If you happen to read this, ATTW, which I doubt you will, just know you are a jerk, grade A. She was probably in pain and exhausted. You can not even begin to imagine how painful sex is after pushing a baby out, especially if you were cut down there! Having a jerk husband like you is more than likely a libido killer too. Who would want to screw someone who is quite obviously resentful?
More...
Posted by toenail on January 22, 2014 at 7:25 AM · Report this
undead ayn rand 35
@32: "They don't get fat after puppies."

Ah, there's your problem. We're talking about women, you're committing bestiality.
Posted by undead ayn rand on January 22, 2014 at 7:38 AM · Report this
36
I gotta say I just love all the posts from people who believe that since the wife is no at her birth weight then the LW should have the freedom to dump her without consequences.

I have to wonder how in-shape the LW is.
Posted by msanonymous on January 22, 2014 at 7:58 AM · Report this
AFinch 37
Mmm...so, late to this little party, but I too remember it pretty well from the first time it ran. If this guy is already thinking of stepping out on his wife this much - while she's still recovering from what they both did to her body - then yeah, complete asshole, end of story really.

On the issue of birth weight gain - there are a very significant plurality of women who manage to get back to pre-birth weight and tone even without living in third-world conditions. It's not genetically impossible. Some abdominal and vaginal muscles do get permanently altered in some women, but that's not a permanent increase in BMI and body fat. In fact, some women actually manage to lose weight between breastfeeding (which is apparently a huge hormonal win for weight loss) and avoiding gestational diabetes.

Recognizing this fact is not in and of itself either trolling, or giving the LW permission to cheat on or dump his wife.

And yes, everyone, male and female, should look at parents to get a hint of the likely future.
Posted by AFinch on January 22, 2014 at 8:45 AM · Report this
38
I hope this jackass left and she found someone who isn't a giant prick.
Posted by hereiswheremynamegoes on January 22, 2014 at 9:13 AM · Report this
undead ayn rand 39
@37: "Recognizing this fact"

You're not "recognizing a fact" because you have zero clue how long they've had the infant for.

Do you even know that she's had any chance to "get back to pre-birth weight and tone"? You also don't know how long he's felt this way about her weight, sounds like he wasn't fond of her before the pregnancy either.
Posted by undead ayn rand on January 22, 2014 at 10:33 AM · Report this
Eudaemonic 40
@39: Given how poorly you seem to understand Post #37, it might be wise to write about it less forcefully. I mention this only because it seems to be kind of a pattern for you.

What part of the second paragraph of 37 struck you as requiring knowledge of how long they've had the infant? What part of that post was about the wife in question at all?
Posted by Eudaemonic on January 22, 2014 at 10:39 AM · Report this
AFinch 41
@40 - thanks.

@39 - this issue seems to touch a nerve for you, and even though I feel like we're generally on the same wavelength, I figured this would draw your ire. Yes, the timeline is important; which is why, in my first PP, I said the guy is an asshole in this specific case. Having a baby is not a lifetime get-out-of-jail-free card for morbid obesity. As a fine critical thinker, I know you are well aware of the nuanced and complex variations between the LW's case and the lifetime morbid obesity case.
Posted by AFinch on January 22, 2014 at 11:39 AM · Report this
undead ayn rand 42
@40/41: "Having a baby is not a lifetime get-out-of-jail-free card for morbid obesity. As a fine critical thin ker, I know you are well aware of the nuanced and complex variations between the LW's case and the lifetime morbid obesity case.'

I "understand" what was stated, both in the original and the reply.

He at no point said she was morbidly obese, so your tangential injection to the story is bizarrely unnecessary.
Posted by undead ayn rand on January 22, 2014 at 11:53 AM · Report this
AFinch 43
@42 - either she's double his weight or doubled her own - I guess that's not 100% clear in the original letter. Regardless, it's very likely it's a BMI >35.
Posted by AFinch on January 22, 2014 at 12:11 PM · Report this
Eudaemonic 44
@42: What story do you think you're talking about?

What original and what reply do you think you're referring to?

Or are you merely having one of those bizarre moments where commenters vehemently insist, against all evidence, that all other comments are replying to the original post and never to any of the other comments?

The conversation moved on in 30-odd posts. Try to keep up. Yes, if you pretend that AFinch was "injecting" something into "the story," it looks bizarre. That is because you are pretending a thing that is not true. Why you would do this, I don't know, but it looks a lot like trying to invent pretenses on which to be angry. I guess outrage is fun, but maybe you could find a better pretense? This one's pretty thin.
Posted by Eudaemonic on January 22, 2014 at 12:13 PM · Report this
undead ayn rand 45
@43: "either she's double his weight or doubled her own - I guess that's not 100% clear in the original letter. Regardless, it's very likely it's a BMI >35."

Wait, I didn't see that here or in the original letter (I checked, it appears to be the same length, and I checked most of the way down in comments and didn't see the LW coming back to clarify anything.)

Are you referring to some piece of information we don't have immediately available, or are you making things up from your fantasy?

If the latter, at least state that you're creating a fictional situation, the framing without discussing your framing is what's annoying.
Posted by undead ayn rand on January 22, 2014 at 12:17 PM · Report this
AFinch 46
@45 - he signed it "Almost Twice the Wife". What do you suppose that means?

And yes, my "get out of jail free" reference was to the broader discussion about baby weight gain and post-partum changes in physiology in the abstract and in general - not in the poster's case.

Or are you really pretending that the phenomenon of

"...those lousy spouses who abandon routine physical maintenance once the first kid arrives, because, hey, now you're stuck! Forgoing routine physical maintenance is the mother of all take-you-for-granted moves, one that quickly kills desire and slowly smothers love, and it can constitute grounds for cheating and/or leaving."


does not exist? 'cause I know a bunch - men and women - who think marriage but especially children means not having to care or make an effort any longer. That's about all I was referring to.

I thought Dan's advice was balanced and complete.
Posted by AFinch on January 22, 2014 at 12:34 PM · Report this
undead ayn rand 47
@46: "he signed it "Almost Twice the Wife". What do you suppose that means?"

Seriously? That? You're taking about figurative language.

@46: Of course that happens, but he mentioned an infant child, one so young that the pregnancy weight hasn't left her. That combined with the instantly wanting a divorce but not wanting to "appear" an asshole for giving up his kid (when he'd give up his wife in a very short period of time) leaves me less impressed.

If this was just about her weight and not a greater disrespect, more options would be available to the couple.
Posted by undead ayn rand on January 22, 2014 at 12:43 PM · Report this
Eudaemonic 48
@45:
Are you referring to some piece of information we don't have immediately available, or are you making things up from your fantasy?

If the latter, at least state that you're creating a fictional situation, the framing without discussing your framing is what's annoying.


It is annoying, yes. Please stop doing it. Remember that time when you spent hours and hours yelling about dick pics, then finally realized that the phrase "naked torso shots" did not mean "dick pics," and that the dick picks were pure fantasy on your part?
You're doing it again.
Posted by Eudaemonic on January 22, 2014 at 12:52 PM · Report this
49
wow, I would say that this was written by my now ex-husband, but it was originally posted a year before our kid was born. Yes, I can say without a doubt that assholes like this do actually exist!
Posted by raisinmom on January 22, 2014 at 1:12 PM · Report this
tabletop_joe 50
@34 I think you should know that you're wonderful. Be kind to yourself, wonderful lady. I bet you're a great mom, and your husband is treating you well and doing the right thing not only because he's great--but because he's smart enough to know you are. Thanks for sharing.
Posted by tabletop_joe on January 22, 2014 at 1:28 PM · Report this
aureolaborealis 51
There's pregnancy weight, and there's massive, unjustified weight gain while pregnant. There is nothing in this letter to suggest that this is normal pregnancy weight gain. I believe the guideline is that it takes something like 300 to 500 extra calories a day to build a baby. I see pregnant women, God bless them, getting 500+ extra calories every time they eat. It's like that positive test was the license to completely let themselves go. Yes, you will gain weight while pregnant, and no, you probably won't ever lose every last pound of it, but anything close to doubling your body weight, and you've gone completely off the rails.
Thought experiment: The letter implies close to double body weight, so let's say she was 150 before pregnancy, and now, some time after giving birth, she weighs 280. Would we agree that this would constitute a problem beyond pregnancy weight gain and not having time for the gym?
Posted by aureolaborealis on January 22, 2014 at 1:50 PM · Report this
AFinch 52
@34 - I missed your reply because I was skipping unregistereds; congratulations on your daughter and holy jeebus, that's a huge episiotomy Ouch. I hope your husband gives you lots of time to heal everywhere before asking for sex.
Posted by AFinch on January 22, 2014 at 1:58 PM · Report this
53
And ladies, be sure to get the daddy stitch after having yer puppies.
Posted by Avoid loosey goosey on January 22, 2014 at 5:18 PM · Report this
debug 54
I say go ahead and cheat. Call it a celebration of fatherhood. You're now stuck paying for her baby for the next 18 years so might as well get something out of it. Who knows, maybe she'll shrink back down and be fuckable again. It's a win-win.

-- just kidding, LW is a prick
Posted by debug on January 23, 2014 at 12:07 PM · Report this
Katia 55
I sincerely hope puppy guy dies in a fire.
Posted by Katia on January 23, 2014 at 12:55 PM · Report this
56
@25.... no... that's not how that happened. She got pregnant, cut her husband off immediately and gained something like 75 pounds. She had the baby and never went back to sleeping with or really even interacting with her husband. SHe then told him to go find a girlfriend and utlimately left him. He's now married quite happily to someone else. He's an awesome guy, but he got used for babymaking and that was that.

If a woman is say, a healthy 150 pounds before birthing a baby, and then gains nearly another 150 during pregnancy, I think a husband has reason to be shocked and upset. That ain't normal. I'm not sure where Dan got the idea that this is a brand-new baby (up to the 2nd birthday a baby is an infant.) It sounds like this guy expected life to get back together in a reasonable time frame, but his wife totally tossed herself into being a Mommy and is no longer a companion to her husband at all.
Posted by MameSnidely on January 23, 2014 at 6:46 PM · Report this
57
@56 - You question Dan's assumption that it is a brand new baby--then go on to assume that "his wife totally tossed herself into being a Mommy and is no longer a companion to her husband at all. " You could have at least put a sentance between criticizing his assumption and your own unsupported assumption. And Dan's assumption makes more sense. LW probably would have said if it had been two years, or anything approaching that. Also, 1-12 months is a much more common definition of infant.
Posted by brent.b on January 29, 2014 at 2:40 PM · Report this

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