If you're one of those local fair weather fans the diehards keep bitching about, then you don't know enough about football to give a shit about who wins today's AFC Championship Game between the Denver Somethings and the New England Somethingorothers, because neither of them are the motherfucking Seahawks! Amirite? But if you're a real fan then you surely have an opinion about who you'd rather your beloved Seahawks face in the Super Bowl.

Is it four-time NFL MVP Peyton Manning having a career season leading the Bronco's bizarrely productive offense? Or is it three-time Super Bowl winner Tom Brady and the always dangerous evil-genius-coached Patriots?