We get the best e-mails here at The Stranger. People think that putting us on conservative e-mail lists is some sort of punishment, but it's really the best and brightest source of entertainment that we have around the office. Yesterday, we received maybe the best conservative e-mail we've ever gotten. It's from a group called GrasstopsUSA (motto: "Give Your Values a Voice") and here's the online version. It begins normally enough for a fringe right-wing e-mail, with demands that President Obama be impeached. But then it turns into something beautiful. Here's the deal:
Join The Impeach Obama Campaign Today And We Will Send You (Via Immediate Download In PDF Format) Our Ground-Breaking 32-Page Report: Why Barack Obama Needs To Be Impeached In Order To Save America. But That's Not All...
Bonus 1: We'll also send your urgent and personalized Blast Faxes to each and every member of the Republican Leadership of the United States Senate and the United States House of Representatives calling for the immediate Impeachment of Barack Obama!
Bonus 2: We'll subscribe you to the GrassTopsUSA Action Alert, our daily email alert of news that the liberal media refuses to print, for FREE!
The groundbreaking report and the bonuses are a $97.00 value but they're yours today for a one-time payment of $34.95. And if you don't like our groundbreaking 32-Page report: Why Barack Obama Needs To Be Impeached In Order To Save America, you have 60 days to request an unconditional refund... no questions asked... and you can keep the report and the bonuses as our gift to you... YOU'LL GET YOUR MONEY BACK... NO QUESTIONS ASKED!
Okay. So for thirty-five bucks, you get a PDF, you get signed up to an e-mail newsletter, and you get your name on a "Blast Fax," all in the name of impeaching Obama. Seems legit to me. If you have any conservative relatives, I encourage you to pass this bargain on to them. I salute the business acumen of whoever it is that came up with this idea. I wish I'd thought of it first.