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Thursday, January 9, 2014

Want to Impeach Obama? Send Us Money!

Posted by on Thu, Jan 9, 2014 at 3:33 PM

We get the best e-mails here at The Stranger. People think that putting us on conservative e-mail lists is some sort of punishment, but it's really the best and brightest source of entertainment that we have around the office. Yesterday, we received maybe the best conservative e-mail we've ever gotten. It's from a group called GrasstopsUSA (motto: "Give Your Values a Voice") and here's the online version. It begins normally enough for a fringe right-wing e-mail, with demands that President Obama be impeached. But then it turns into something beautiful. Here's the deal:

Join The Impeach Obama Campaign Today And We Will Send You (Via Immediate Download In PDF Format) Our Ground-Breaking 32-Page Report: Why Barack Obama Needs To Be Impeached In Order To Save America. But That's Not All...

Bonus 1: We'll also send your urgent and personalized Blast Faxes to each and every member of the Republican Leadership of the United States Senate and the United States House of Representatives calling for the immediate Impeachment of Barack Obama!

Bonus 2: We'll subscribe you to the GrassTopsUSA Action Alert, our daily email alert of news that the liberal media refuses to print, for FREE!

The groundbreaking report and the bonuses are a $97.00 value but they're yours today for a one-time payment of $34.95. And if you don't like our groundbreaking 32-Page report: Why Barack Obama Needs To Be Impeached In Order To Save America, you have 60 days to request an unconditional refund... no questions asked... and you can keep the report and the bonuses as our gift to you... YOU'LL GET YOUR MONEY BACK... NO QUESTIONS ASKED!

Okay. So for thirty-five bucks, you get a PDF, you get signed up to an e-mail newsletter, and you get your name on a "Blast Fax," all in the name of impeaching Obama. Seems legit to me. If you have any conservative relatives, I encourage you to pass this bargain on to them. I salute the business acumen of whoever it is that came up with this idea. I wish I'd thought of it first.


Comments (20) RSS

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How do they arrive at $97.00? Is this available on Amazon Prime?
Posted by Freudiandave on January 9, 2014 at 3:50 PM · Report this
Will in Seattle 2
But I already gave homeless youth money!

I got textbooks and tuition to pay too!
Posted by Will in Seattle on January 9, 2014 at 3:54 PM · Report this
MacCrocodile 3
Is "GrasstopsUSA" supposed to be some kind of compliment or antithesis to "grassroots"? Because we already have "astroturf" for that.
Posted by MacCrocodile on January 9, 2014 at 4:04 PM · Report this
keshmeshi 4
A PDF and a bunch of faxes are a $97 value, eh? Gotta love good, old-fashioned conservative grift.
Posted by keshmeshi on January 9, 2014 at 4:09 PM · Report this
Sargon Bighorn 5
I don't know why I chuckled when I read your post Ms. Constant. It is funny. And yes you really should have thought of it first. I suspect the target audience is the over 65 year old, that is White/Male/Christian-ist/Semi-Computer illiterate and hates having a half Black men in the White House.
Posted by Sargon Bighorn on January 9, 2014 at 4:14 PM · Report this
Sir Vic 6
@3 It's a gay stoner activist group.
Posted by Sir Vic on January 9, 2014 at 4:22 PM · Report this
Fnarf 7
The man who invented this scam was Clarence Manion, back in the heady 1950s of the Cold War, chasing the impossible dream of a Goldwater candidacy for President using a mass-mailing machine called a Robotype. Richard Viguerie took Manion's and Marvin Liebman's mailing-list ideas to dramatic new heights when he went to work for Young Americans for Freedom in 1961, but the original form these letters is pure Manion paranoia.

Read about it here, or better yet get the author Rick Perlstein's classic book Before the Storm: Barry Goldwater and the Unmaking of the American Consensus, which is probably the best book ever written about American politics. Here's Chapter One, free.
Posted by Fnarf on January 9, 2014 at 4:29 PM · Report this
Banna 8
WTF is a "fax"?
Posted by Banna on January 9, 2014 at 4:29 PM · Report this
I am assuming that the pdf is not available in any store.
Posted by LuisitaPhD on January 9, 2014 at 4:57 PM · Report this
Frank Blethen's vodka distiller 10
@4 Yep, there's a sucker born every minute.
Posted by Frank Blethen's vodka distiller on January 9, 2014 at 5:03 PM · Report this
Question. Why do those idiots stand out in the rain with their little card table in front of MY post office and try to get me to read their literature on impeaching Obama. I think it's the LaRoush people. Is he still alive? I sat in my car and watched them for a few minutes and no one stopped to talk to them. Although one guy I think told them to get screwed.
Posted by longwayhome on January 9, 2014 at 6:21 PM · Report this
My wife's grandmother was trying to change the subject on Christmas Eve, so she said, laughing "Think Obama's going to get shot??" in an excited voice, while standing next to the one bookshelf in the house, covered with Beck, Palin, and Limbaugh.
Posted by Hanoumatoi on January 9, 2014 at 6:33 PM · Report this
JonnoN 13
@11 ask them why they're lobbying for a convicted con artist, they love that
Posted by JonnoN on January 9, 2014 at 7:01 PM · Report this
fletc3her 14
@11 I knocked over one of their signs a few years back, but I think it's more effective if you just laugh loudly.

I gotta say the Democrats' spam isn't a lot better. I am supposed to be outraged, daily, even when in Congress isn't in session about something Boehner did, and donate.
Posted by fletc3her on January 9, 2014 at 10:15 PM · Report this
Christampa 15
Want to impeach Obama? Send us money, and we'll send you a report telling you why you should want to impeach Obama.
Posted by Christampa on January 10, 2014 at 12:44 AM · Report this
Catalina Vel-DuRay 16
I'd do it just for the blast faxes, but a PDF, too? Sign me up!
Posted by Catalina Vel-DuRay on January 10, 2014 at 7:25 AM · Report this
They obviously have a good handle on the average intelligence of their target demographic.
Posted by Mr. Happy Sunshine on January 10, 2014 at 8:59 AM · Report this
The great thing about this is that they can openly run it as a for-profit effort. The money they collect isn't tax deductible and they don't pretend that it is. I doubt they even have to register as lobbyists since their only contact with congress is by FAX.

I've seen other money-making schemes like this. There was an internet ad that suggested people pay a dollar to text their support of Governor Romney or Senator Obama for President.

Advertising is all about sparking an emotional response and then using it to prompt action. Politicians are doing most of the heavy lifting here, so it wouldn't be hard to do a direct mail campaign asking people to send money for any number of causes. Anyone can solicit donations for whatever emotional issues the politicians are exploiting - abortion, same-sex marriage, marijauna legalization - and just pocket the money. You could even work both sides because it's not about the issue; it's about the money.
Posted by Charlie Mas on January 10, 2014 at 9:29 AM · Report this
Catalina Vel-DuRay 19
Charlie dear, I think the gripe is more with the product ("fax blasts" and PDF's) than it is with the approach.
Posted by Catalina Vel-DuRay on January 10, 2014 at 9:51 AM · Report this
The Establishment 20
Sounds like a great opportunity for funding a Democrat Super PAC (or Green party, or hell, even the Socialist party), all while taking advantage of the intelligence level of Republican voters.

Someone make this happen!
Posted by The Establishment on January 10, 2014 at 12:54 PM · Report this

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