The United States of It's So Cold I Might Die: Polar vortex brings dangerously low temperatures to eastern U.S. (Also: Polar Vortex 101.)

Malevolent Malingering: Scores of retired NYC police, fire and corrections officers arrested for 9/11 disability fraud. ("The Manhattan district attorney's office accuses the retired workers, along with their lawyers and doctors, of faking work-related stress, including feigned psychiatric disorders related to 9/11," reports the ABC.)

Sidelined for Sochi: Injured knee will keep skier Lindsey Vonn from defending her downhill title at the winter Olympics.

Christmas in January: Syria hands over first batch of chemical weapons material.

To Protect and Serve: Parents call cops for help with schizophrenic son, cops shoot son dead.

Antisocial Media: Dallas police chief fires employees via Twitter.

Troubled Princess: Princess Cristina of Spain faces court over allegations of money laundering and tax fraud.

Mon Dieu!: Workers at French tire factory slated for closure take bosses hostage, demand "enormous amounts of money." (As The Guardian reports, "The 'kidnapping' was carried out at the Goodyear plant in north Amiens that was at the centre of an international spat a year ago after an American businessman called the workers there lazy.") UPDATE: Bosses freed!

Blast from the Past: Mary K. Letourneau is under arrest (this time for failing to appear in court on a driving charge).

Also, Remember That Guy Who Slapped a Baby on a Plane?: He's been sentenced to eight months in federal prison.

Blue Pitch-Black Monday: Power outage leaves 6000+ on Capitol Hill in the dark.

Always a Foot in His Mouth: Eliot Spitzer horrifies Jamaica with his public sucking of his girlfriend's feet.

Finally, here's video of CNN's Chris Cuomo interviewing Dennis Rodman and the ten former NBA players who travelled with him to North Korea to play a basketball game on Kim Jong-Un's birthday. When Cuomo asks Rodman about the morality of such a trip, Rodman loses it. (I do not think Kim Jong-Un is a good influence on Rodman, who speaks more and more like an unhinged despot every day.)