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Tuesday, January 7, 2014

One Last Anonymous Regret

Posted by on Tue, Jan 7, 2014 at 4:36 PM

Sent Dec 21 to I, Anonymous:

Dear sexy gay man in the Northgate parking lot: I was having an awful day. I had just gotten into a fight with my boyfriend, was damn near close to suicide when we pulled in. I was ready to tackle the world when I opened my door and glared at you as you pulled in next to me. I bet I gave you the death stare. I am sorry, I literally wanted to kill myself at that moment. As I was pulling out the stroller so my kid could go see Santa you walked past and gave me a look that could kill the devil. I still being a bitch muttered "dick" under my breath. You stopped and asked "What did you say?" and I told you to get the fuck away from me and you said fuck off. What I meant to say was Merry Christmas and I hope you have a good day.

 

Comments (13) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
Pope Urbane 1
Been there. Sucks. All my usual ways of calming myself need peace and quiet so now that I have kids they are useless. I just swallow the rage along with a few cocktails and pizzas. Maybe a bong hit. Healthy? Probably not but it'll have to do for now.
Posted by Pope Urbane on January 7, 2014 at 4:51 PM · Report this
MacCrocodile 2
@1 - "For now"? Until when? Until you don't have kids? Until something essential inside you dies?
Posted by MacCrocodile http://maccrocodile.com/ on January 7, 2014 at 4:54 PM · Report this
Dougsf 3
I've never heard someone use the expression "ready to tackle the world" and literally mean tackle the next person they see.
Posted by Dougsf on January 7, 2014 at 5:28 PM · Report this
4
What an excellent role model for your child.
Posted by treehugger on January 7, 2014 at 6:41 PM · Report this
Some Old Nobodaddy Logged In 5
It's amazing how often I get those two mixed up. "Die! Die in a pain and agony! Oh, sorry, I meant to wish you a nice day."
Posted by Some Old Nobodaddy Logged In on January 7, 2014 at 6:52 PM · Report this
Fnarf 6
@5, I know what you mean -- the other day I meant to say "pass the salt, dear" but it came out as "you fucking bitch you've ruined my life!"
Posted by Fnarf http://www.facebook.com/fnarf on January 7, 2014 at 7:18 PM · Report this
mikethehammer 7
I'd mostly given up on I, Anon since it went digital. But rather enjoyed this one.
Posted by mikethehammer on January 7, 2014 at 7:20 PM · Report this
8
@3 I agree fucking brilliant on the part of the LW.
Posted by Machiavelli was framed on January 7, 2014 at 9:14 PM · Report this
9
@1 Sometimes you do what you have to so you can keep being there. Kids can make you crazy. But do the right by them and you won't regret it.
Posted by cracked on January 7, 2014 at 11:24 PM · Report this
10
Love the honesty. People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, ole commenters.
Posted by Man_in_the_mirror on January 8, 2014 at 8:02 AM · Report this
11
Fighting in the car (to the point of suicidal feelings) on the way to see Santa... sounds like my childhood. All the joy was sucked out of every event by my parents escalating some petty disagreement into a raging fight, usually in the car, but sometimes right before we left so we could spend the car ride in oppressive, nauseating silence. I'm sure that kid had a great time pretending to have fun visiting Santa.

/projection
Posted by Lori E. on January 8, 2014 at 9:30 AM · Report this
12
This is the kind of behavior that the Stranger thinks is cool. You can do anything you want. Just say you are sorry, and then you don't have to be responsible for the damage.
Posted by hmmmmm on January 8, 2014 at 10:43 AM · Report this
13
@12 - yes, why isn't everyone everywhere in total control of their emotions and actions, like you?
Posted by johnjjeeves on January 9, 2014 at 12:55 PM · Report this

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