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Monday, January 6, 2014

Soylent Green Wrapping Paper

Posted by on Mon, Jan 6, 2014 at 12:05 PM

creepychurchsignseattle.JPG

Spotted by Nancy Hartunian on North Capitol Hill. It made Nancy think of the Silence of the Lambs (1991). It made me think of...

...this scene from Alien (1979). and, of course, it made Slog's headline generating algorithm think of Soylent Green (1973). Anyone got a more contemporary reference?

 

Comments (23) RSS

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Posted by Urgutha Forka on January 6, 2014 at 12:10 PM · Report this
Puty 2
Sounds like God's wearing human skin condoms.
Posted by Puty on January 6, 2014 at 12:14 PM · Report this
debug 3
Shit comes wrapped in people too.
Posted by debug on January 6, 2014 at 12:23 PM · Report this
dnt trust me 4
If it was one of the many mostly African-American churches in Seattle, it might say God's Gifts Rapped in People
Posted by dnt trust me on January 6, 2014 at 12:39 PM · Report this
5
@3: Highly amused by your comment/avatar combination.
Posted by Hanoumatoi on January 6, 2014 at 12:50 PM · Report this
theseamster 6
The quote is amusing when intentionally misinterpreted. But to be fair, the UCC is actually pretty cool as churches go. They were the first mainstream denomination in the US to ordain gays way back in the early 70s. If someone really wants to be christian but doesn't want a place that's bigoted toward the LGBTBBQWTF community, I'd point them there.
Posted by theseamster on January 6, 2014 at 12:56 PM · Report this
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn 7
It puts the lotion on its skin. I am what I am.
Posted by Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn http://youtu.be/zu-akdyxpUc on January 6, 2014 at 1:07 PM · Report this
Pope Peabrain 8
Hannibal Lecter? They have ritual cannibalism in there.
Posted by Pope Peabrain on January 6, 2014 at 1:09 PM · Report this
fletc3her 9
@6 If you look closely you can even see a rainbow at the bottom of the signboard.

FWIW, I think it's stretching to find a double entendre in this message.
Posted by fletc3her on January 6, 2014 at 1:15 PM · Report this
ScrawnyKayaker 10
World War Z? Walking Dead?

It's all about the zombies these days. (yawn)
Posted by ScrawnyKayaker on January 6, 2014 at 1:20 PM · Report this
11
Holy Hell! 79?!
Posted by Sili on January 6, 2014 at 1:25 PM · Report this
DAVIDinKENAI 12
You could read it Fundie-style, "God's gifts (babies) come wrapped in people." as an anti-abortion message.

Or more likely for UCC, "God's gifts (our figurative hearts containing good feelings) come wrapped in people.

Or as a sex-positive message, "God's gifts. . . . come (cum), wrapped in people." Because where better to come, than in another person?

But Joseph was cuckolded by the Christian God: so "people" could be Mary getting knocked up.
Posted by DAVIDinKENAI on January 6, 2014 at 1:48 PM · Report this
DAVIDinKENAI 13
And, as the theseamster @6 points out, UCC churches are NALT (Not All Like That) Christians, AND they are politically active and vocal, at a national level (rather unlike other liberal denominations which are liberal in some locales but slow to progress as an organization). I'd agree that if you want an inclusive, clearly Christian church, UCC is as good as it gets, but there is local variation.

I point out to youth and their families in places too small for a PFLAG chapter, that UCC and even more so, Unitarian churches are typically welcoming places. They are also welcoming of alternative couples (whatever "alternative" means in your time and place - mixed race, mixed orientation, gay, trans, etc)

When does Jesus get mentioned in a Unitarian Church?

When the Janitor falls down the stairs.
Posted by DAVIDinKENAI on January 6, 2014 at 2:06 PM · Report this
14
@12,

Sorry, the teen couple wasn't married yet (I think). Does that allow cuckoldry?

Peace
Posted by Married in MA on January 6, 2014 at 3:08 PM · Report this
15
As for a movie,

If you turn things sideways, and squint past the communist rhetoric, "It's A Wonderful Life" might fit the bill. If only the Potters in life could be held liable to divine retribution (or at least a justice system that prosecuted white collar crime).

Peace
Posted by Married in MA on January 6, 2014 at 3:20 PM · Report this
16
Really? No one thought of Soylent Green as their first thought?
Posted by BG on January 6, 2014 at 6:22 PM · Report this
JunieGirl 17
All I could think of was turducken.
Posted by JunieGirl on January 6, 2014 at 7:45 PM · Report this
18
@17 who would consider eating something with "turd" in its name?
Posted by truck on January 7, 2014 at 5:02 AM · Report this
19
This is actually a rather nice sentiment. This is a church telling people to be nice to each other. That's what we want them to do.
Posted by DRF on January 7, 2014 at 8:22 AM · Report this
20
Did you see that thing about humans that dress up in latex doll suits at Joe My God today? Gives is a whole new meaning.
PS, I don't remember Dan ever taking on that particular kink.
Posted by Tor on January 7, 2014 at 11:56 AM · Report this
21
@20 Tor,

You mean Dan's post about "beautiful women walking down the street"?

Peace
Posted by Married in MA on January 7, 2014 at 1:08 PM · Report this
Dirtclustit 22
I don't know, I took it in a sexual connotation and although I will not affiliate with any of the current sex positive organizations (or any organization that -- like poly communities -- condones journoterrorism) it is refreshing to think that a church does have a sex positive message, it what even be nice if they preached a love positive sermon that assured people that loving others isn't something they should frown upon nor should they feel that intimate sexual relationships -- even non-monogamous ones -- are something to be ashamed of, as those areas in your life are between you and the people in relationships with you as well as those you may be indirectly connected to by your partner's relationships.

They are private matters which only concern those affected, and are only as public as you desire them to be, but unfortunately most of the alternative communities are far worse than the most intrusive, controlling governments in regards to meddling or attempting to influence your life where they have absolutely no right to.

In any event, even if the sign is a photoshopped mind fuck and never really on any church billboard, I would take it to mean that no matter what right wing fundies tell to trick you into believing, no matter what shit angry atheists spew, no matter how much disrespect you and your family is shown by some poly community believing they are making the world a better place by fucking with you,

it's not any of those dumb motherfuckers right to interfere or attempt to influence who you choose for your chosen family.

The people who you choose to make the offer -- to share your life with -- it up to you and whoever chooses to accept your offer, which may or may nor include sexual interactions, acts which are or can be so joyous and pleasurable they could only be considered a Gift from God, one that if you do not desire to risk a spiritual combination that cannot be undone, you definitely want to be wrapped, even if you are going to cum inside people, even if because of you and your partners gender it isn't possible to inadvertently combine your spirits permanently, as if they haven't accepted your offer, sharing the Gifts unwrapped may lead to unintended unpleasant surprises

even though you would think you couldn't get more transparent than an unwrapped gift, it just doesn't work out that way

but luckily, each person is free to believe whatever they want, I choose to believe what I know as the truth to my eyes and ears when I practice Truth and respect that which Is real, and I chose to believe the Joseph's spouse, Mary, and her being described as Virgin, the description was in regards to her motherhood, as in she had never birthed a child before Jesus, as only an idiot would claim she have never "known" a male, esp around nine months prior to loosing her status as a Virgin Mother, but there will always be assholes whom make it a point of contention or to mock another person's religious beliefs, and those are the people who do not want any sort of harmonious existence between all the different types of cultures of people

and those assholes can go fuck themselves
More...
Posted by Dirtclustit on January 7, 2014 at 1:34 PM · Report this
sissoucat 23
Unwrapping God's gifts is gore.
Posted by sissoucat on January 9, 2014 at 6:00 AM · Report this

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