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Friday, January 3, 2014

The Friday Morning News

Posted by on Fri, Jan 3, 2014 at 8:58 AM

Snowpocalypageddon! It's snowing back East. And it's very cold. They'll deal.

Dozens of politicians' jobs are at stake. Boeing Machinists will vote tonight on whether to approve the company's latest contract offer. It's the lose/lose option company executives have hoped for: A no vote will cost local workers the wing of the new 777X and possibly final assembly; a yes vote will tear apart the union.

Ballot shootout. Both supporters and opponents of gun purchase background checks say they have submitted enough signatures to get their dueling initiatives on the ballot.

The circle of life, North Korea-style. North Korean leader Kim Jung Un reportedly executed his deposed uncle by throwing him naked into a cage filled with 120 starving dogs. Watch out, Dennis Rodman!

Cheerios says no to GMO. General Mills has stopped using genetically modified ingredients in its popular Cheerios breakfast cereal, a staple food of toddlers everywhere. Anybody who has been a parent knows what a huge symbolic blow this is against the GMO industry.

He couldn't be any worse than the incumbent. Openly gay American Idol Clay Aiken is considering a run for Congress in a North Carolina district currently held by a teabagger.

It's a miracle! Seahawks wide receiver Percy Harvin returned to practice yesterday! Still no guarantee that he'll play.

And you thought the coal trains were bad. Following a string of explosions, federal officials have warned that the Bakken light crude oil being shipped by rail across the US from North Dakota may be more flammable than typical crude oil.

I've been on that cruise. The Chinese icebreaker carrying the 52 passengers from the Russian icebreaker that had been trapped for weeks in ice off Antarctica, has been forced to halt out of fears that it too will become stuck in ice.

Qatlh HIja', tu'lu' mughwI' English Hol-tlhIngan. Sov 'Iv? Indian Trail North Carolina Town Council member David Waddell turned in his resignation letter yesterday, written entirely in Klingon. Waddell resigned using the fictional language so that would have the time to mount a fictional write-in campaign for US Senate on the fictional Constitution Party ticket.

Crazy person does crazy thing—gets on TV! A local woman ate nothing but Starbucks for a year, and survived. That's nothing. Dom has eaten nothing but Ballet for the better part of a decade, and you don't hear him bragging about it.


Comments (21) RSS

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Matt from Denver 1
The best thing that can happen in North Korea is for all the rest of the elite to realize that Kim Jong Un is a sadistic and unpredictable fucker, and that they had all better depose and execute him and do it fast.
Posted by Matt from Denver on January 3, 2014 at 9:13 AM · Report this
Matt from Denver 2
Ah, what am I saying. I'm assuming that Kim Jong Un is fully in charge as his own man, and isn't being manipulated by his nominal deputies for the purposes of settling factional differences.
Posted by Matt from Denver on January 3, 2014 at 9:16 AM · Report this
Theodore Gorath 3
The Percy Harvin deal is bafflingly short-sighted and a bad deal for Seattle.

They are paying him around $11 million a year (unsure how much in the contract is guaranteed) to be injured, He misses tons of games every year, and is a prima-donna headache in the locker room, which is why Minnesota wanted rid of him. Not to mention that they gave up draft picks as well. He will injure himself and miss significant time every year.

Should have used the draft pick next year for a WR/KR/PR and saved the money, draft picks, and roster spot.

A bizarre and dumb error from a front office that has been very good at scouting in recent years.
Posted by Theodore Gorath on January 3, 2014 at 9:19 AM · Report this
sperifera 4
Why wouldn't 120 dogs that hadn't eaten in 3 days be attacking one another before eating Jang? Was it like a gladiator event, suddenly the gates are opened, and the hungry dogs come running in from separate entrances? It doesn't make sense, but makes for good NK propaganda.
Posted by sperifera on January 3, 2014 at 9:25 AM · Report this
Urgutha Forka 5
Hey now, let's not be too critical of Kim Jong-Un... after all, he WAS the first man to walk on the moon.
Posted by Urgutha Forka on January 3, 2014 at 9:32 AM · Report this
Meanwhile, General Mills revives a pretty crummy cereal of unflavored Cheerios' sales by simply changing from beet sugar to known-to-be-GMO-free unrefined cane sugar and making sure the tiny amount of corn starch is from GMO-free corn. All the while, not actually ensuring the product is GMO-free to the standard of the NonGMO label.
Posted by ChefJoe on January 3, 2014 at 9:34 AM · Report this
mikethehammer 7
It's sadly comforting and even inspiring to know that you can still pick some random & otherwise mundane activity, due it for an arbitrary and predetermined period of time, then get rich and famous as a result. Here's hoping that idiot lady lands herself a seven figure book deal.
Posted by mikethehammer on January 3, 2014 at 9:34 AM · Report this
re: Snowpocalypageddon:

It's winter. Four or five inches from a fairly middling snow storm is known as "normal winter weather."

NEWSFLASH: Winter weather occurring in winter! Stop the presses.

Actually, it would be nice if we had seasons again. Here in the New York Bight area (that's that little angle in the eastern coastline), our weather has been seriously scrambled the last few years. Scattered unseasonal weather in at least three of the normal seasons. "Indian Summer," which was our traditional unseasonally mild respite from the approaching cold of late autumn, typically a week or two, is now scattered to the wind, a day here, a day there, mixed in with snow, heavy rainstorms, pleasant crisp autumn days, and whatnot.

Global warming is the climatic change, a change that results in pumping more water into the atmosphere. Water is the magic ingredient of the weather system, moving vast amounts of energy around with its state changes between vapor, liquid, and solid. Chaos in local weather and the gradual extinction of normally semi-reliable seasons is the result.

But, this particular weather is totally normal. I find the temporary normality almost comforting. Dig out the old winter clothing that hasn't gotten much use the last few years, and everything is hunky-dory.
Posted by Brooklyn Reader on January 3, 2014 at 9:41 AM · Report this
We're the gmo's in Cheerios deadly or something?
Posted by Sugartit on January 3, 2014 at 9:58 AM · Report this
Fifty-Two-Eighty 10
The whole Kim Jong-Un thing is obviously fake. His uncle was a strong supporter of China, which was why he was executed in the first place. And the only story about his execution (totally uncorroborated by anyone else) happened to appear in a Chinese paper. Coincidence? I don't think so.
Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty on January 3, 2014 at 10:10 AM · Report this
rob! 11
Sure, light crude has more volatile components. But flammability is also enhanced by the kerosene, benzene, tolulene, xylene, etc. often used in fracking solutions (Wikipedia).
Posted by rob! on January 3, 2014 at 10:11 AM · Report this
Gern Blanston 12
First Hans Blix, and now this guy...…

Posted by Gern Blanston on January 3, 2014 at 10:15 AM · Report this
Because Ballet is fucking delicious and I could eat from there every day too. Dom is wise.
Posted by wagina on January 3, 2014 at 10:20 AM · Report this
Phoebe in Wallingford 14
@6: So what? If it's a little healthier that's fine. The kids love it.
Posted by Phoebe in Wallingford on January 3, 2014 at 10:28 AM · Report this
@8: So if it didn't snow a lot in YOUR neighborhood it's no big deal, right? Because in parts of New England they got two fucking feet of snow, which is a big fucking deal, and there's a good chance of serious flooding. So fuck you.
Posted by bigyaz on January 3, 2014 at 10:29 AM · Report this
Max Solomon 16
i hear he was executed with an anti-aircraft gun. BIG bullets.

also, percy harvin needs to play. our recieving corp is severely depleted - rice gone, willson injured, baldwin didn't catch a ball last week. we need offense if we're going to hang with denver.
Posted by Max Solomon on January 3, 2014 at 10:48 AM · Report this
Some Old Nobodaddy Logged In 17
Huh. Nothing about the stupendous launch of Colorado's cannabis stores and Washington's own foot-dragging in opening our own. I'm rather surprised.
Posted by Some Old Nobodaddy Logged In on January 3, 2014 at 10:59 AM · Report this
Will in Seattle 18
Very cold? I used to operate in the field for weeks in -40 c temps - slackers ...

Agree CO running out of MJ shows WA we need to quadruple the number of retail outlets and producers
Posted by Will in Seattle on January 3, 2014 at 11:15 AM · Report this
Knat 19
I guess sharing this here is appropriate...?

That charming NFL Vikings kicker who was making all the rounds last year for marriage equality now believes he was fired by the cowards and bigots that run the team. First time I've willingly read anything about sports in years.
Posted by Knat on January 3, 2014 at 11:37 AM · Report this
Fnarf 20
@18 - no you didn't.
Posted by Fnarf on January 3, 2014 at 1:46 PM · Report this
Goldstein's news items sounds as if he's applying for a job at either CNN or CBS (both of whose viewership dropped by 50% in 2013 --- that's 50% less viewers each station now has)?

Now for some important news:

About that jobs offshoring in the public sector:…

And at the moronic level (Texas, that is):…

On the Swartz family's tragic loss:…

Americans, ye of little faith (just joking):…

Bernie finally asks the (big) duuuuh question:…

Posted by sgt_doom on January 3, 2014 at 2:08 PM · Report this

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