1. The chair with the broken arm.
2. The chair with the missing arm.
3. The chair with the missing arm and missing back.
4. The chair that turns your clothes black because rubber's coming out of the arms.
5. Brokeback chair.
6. The chair with the invasive hump.
7. The chair that calls you fat.
8. The stainless steel wonder ("mind-bogglingly uncomfortable").
9. Leaning tower of chair.
10. The "practical joke chair" that sinks instantly to the floor if you put more than 5 pounds on it.
11. The chair with wheels that don't roll for inexplicable reasons.
12. The chair with wheels that don't roll for explicable reasons.
13. "This one's kind of like a chair," one manager said.
14. The non-chair option.
The Stranger has just hired a new staff writer named Danielle Henderson (who's ahhwesome!!!), and she has a desk, but she needs a chair, which explains this chair business. The office is a chair orphanage. Danielle will be writing about news, politics, and social justice full time; you can follow her on Twitter right here; and she will give you a full report on the lost, lonely chair she decides to take custody of. For now, please make her feel welcome.