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Monday, December 30, 2013

Billionaires Are Full of Contradictions

Posted by on Mon, Dec 30, 2013 at 11:49 AM

Always read to the end...

Harold Simmons, a billionaire who helped finance the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth attack ads against Senator John Kerry in the 2004 presidential election and donated substantially to other conservative causes, died on Saturday in Dallas. He was 82.... He was one of the largest donors in the 2012 presidential election, giving more than $26.9 million to “super PACs” opposing President Obama, whom he called “the most dangerous American alive” in an interview with The Wall Street Journal because, he said, the president wanted to “eliminate free enterprise in this country.”

...of the obituary.

More recently, his foundation made contributions that were surprising for someone with his political views. It gave $600,000 to Planned Parenthood and its North Texas affiliate in 2011 and $600,000 this year to the Resource Center, a group that supports the gay community and those affected by H.I.V., The Dallas Morning News reported.

That's a pittance compared to the damage Mr. Simmons did with his money in 2004—and the damage he tried to do in 2012—but, you know, still. It's something. Another interesting detail from his obit: Mr. Simmons paid his two adult daughters from his first marriage $50 million each to shut the fuck up and go the fuck away.

For the record: If there's a rightwing billionaire out there somewhere who would like me to shut the fuck up and go the fuck away... $50 million would do the trick.


Comments (35) RSS

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Posted by Chicago Fan on December 30, 2013 at 11:54 AM · Report this
you might go away, but I doubt you could shut up forever. I'd like to see the bidding war, though.
Posted by slugbiker on December 30, 2013 at 11:57 AM · Report this
JunieGirl 3
I'll shut up for $5 million. It's a bargain at twice the price!
Posted by JunieGirl on December 30, 2013 at 12:05 PM · Report this
MacCrocodile 4
Oh man, I had never thought what my shutting-up price would be. Hearing myself talk is one of my greatest pleasures. I would definitely entertain an offer of $50 million. Let's talk, angry old billionaires.
Posted by MacCrocodile on December 30, 2013 at 12:10 PM · Report this
This sort of reminds me of Dano "let's invade Iraq" Savage's blind support of the Bush crime family's illegal invasion of Iraq.

Keep up that consistent personality pattern, Dano!
Posted by sgt_doom on December 30, 2013 at 12:13 PM · Report this
very bad homo 6
I'll shut up for $50,000.
Posted by very bad homo on December 30, 2013 at 12:15 PM · Report this
ɥsɐןɯouǝʌ 7
At the risk of being accused of conspiring to fix prices, I'll also shut up for $50,000.
Posted by ɥsɐןɯouǝʌ on December 30, 2013 at 12:35 PM · Report this
MacCrocodile 8
I wish I could offer a price like that, 6 & 7, but I'm afraid with the overhead costs involved in high-quality shutting up like mine require higher prices. You really get what you pay for with MacCrocodile shutting up.
Posted by MacCrocodile on December 30, 2013 at 12:38 PM · Report this
I'm afraid I simply must demand a higher price on ɥsɐןɯouǝʌ's behalf. As with MacCrocodile, I would be upset and miss him. Thus I must demand compensation as well, on behalf of all sloggers, who would lose greatly if these two beacons were to shut up.

On the other hand, I'm pretty sure that I could be bought off for $50 and no one would shed a tear.
Posted by Hanoumatoi on December 30, 2013 at 12:42 PM · Report this
Joe Szilagyi 10
Reminds me of the site They had a $5,000,000 bounty for years. Pay it and contractually they would nuke the site forever.
Posted by Joe Szilagyi on December 30, 2013 at 12:48 PM · Report this
Pope Peabrain 11
Posted by Pope Peabrain on December 30, 2013 at 1:01 PM · Report this
DavidG 12
the Koch brothers have a combined net worth of $72 billion. Each of those billions is a thousand millions. So every million these guys spend is like a guy with $72,000 spending a single buck. If you had $72,000 in your bank account, how hard would you find it to spend six [or 50] dollars, especially if those six [or 50] dollars were almost certainly going to get you more?…
Posted by DavidG on December 30, 2013 at 1:02 PM · Report this
Urgutha Forka 13
I actually don't think that dead billionaire is all that contradictory. He seems like a Ron Paul/libertarian type. Socially liberal, fiscally conservative. The place I work is full of those types. They hate Obama because they think he's going to raise their taxes, but they're all in favor of stuff like gay rights and legalizing drugs.

I didn't read the full obit though so I could be completely incorrect.
Posted by Urgutha Forka on December 30, 2013 at 1:03 PM · Report this
watchout5 14
I'll shut up for $10,000?
Posted by watchout5 on December 30, 2013 at 1:48 PM · Report this
$50 million is a pittance compared to the good you could do, Dan.
Posted by Everybody on December 30, 2013 at 2:17 PM · Report this
motofly 16
I'll shut up for a box of cheeze-its.
Posted by motofly on December 30, 2013 at 2:30 PM · Report this
SPG 17
The right wing noise machine spends a lot of money drowning out anyone they don't like, so they keep that money in house with much the same effect. Why pay the hippies to shut up when you can pay some conservative windbags to feign outrage or gin up controversy instead?
Posted by SPG on December 30, 2013 at 2:44 PM · Report this
As an unknown quantity, I'll stay the shut fucked up for $50m.
Posted by Foonken2 on December 30, 2013 at 2:55 PM · Report this
Sean Kinney 19
Race to the bottom: I'll shut up for $500.
Posted by Sean Kinney http:// on December 30, 2013 at 2:59 PM · Report this
treacle 20
Be careful what you wish for.
Posted by treacle on December 30, 2013 at 3:05 PM · Report this
Yeah, $50 million would be good.
Posted by LMcGuff on December 30, 2013 at 3:05 PM · Report this
Relevant Tom Lehrer song here:…

It's so nice to have integrity
I'll tell you why
If you really have integrity
It means your price is very high

So remember when you start to preach and moralize
That we all are in the game and brother its name is compromise!
Posted by Thexalon on December 30, 2013 at 3:37 PM · Report this
Karlheinz Arschbomber 23
@22 for the melodic win.
Posted by Karlheinz Arschbomber on December 30, 2013 at 6:14 PM · Report this
The African Explorer 24
Mrs. Rittenhouse: You are one of the musicians? But you were not due until tomorrow.

Ravelli: Couldn't come tomorrow, that's too quick.

Spaulding: Say, you're lucky they didn't come yesterday!

Ravelli: We were busy yesterday, but we charge just the same.

Spaulding: This is better than exploring! What do you fellows get an hour?

Ravelli: Oh, for playing we getta ten dollars an hour.

Spaulding: I see...What do you get for not playing?

Ravelli: Twelve dollars an hour.

Spaulding: Well, clip me off a piece of that.

Ravelli: Now, for rehearsing we make special rate. Thatsa fifteen dollars an hour.

Spaulding: That's for rehearsing?

Ravelli: Thatsa for rehearsing.

Spaulding: And what do you get for not rehearsing?

Ravelli: You couldn't afford see, if we don't rehearse, we don't play...And, if we don't play...That runs into money.
Posted by The African Explorer on December 30, 2013 at 6:32 PM · Report this
A six pack of 16oz. Natural Ice. Delivered, tomorrow at noon.
Posted by longwayhome on December 30, 2013 at 7:28 PM · Report this
The duck dynasty family must have made about $50 million in the past weeks.
Posted by CD-R taco on December 30, 2013 at 10:47 PM · Report this
don't go away. i need you.
Posted by CallezCal on December 31, 2013 at 5:06 AM · Report this
Ophian 28
Well, Utah--Utah--started issuing same-sex marriage licenses over a week ago without note on the Savage blog. I suppose it is a sign of progress that just another state --Utah--extending equal rights to queer citizens is not news enough to infringe upon the holidays.

Or Savage is maybe getting the lucre in installments.
Posted by Ophian on December 31, 2013 at 8:12 AM · Report this
AFinch 29
Stating the obvious: These guys don't generally manage to get ahold of that much loot while being knuckle dragging ignoramuses. They care only about taxation and regulation, so this kind of disconnect in giving is unsurprising. Also, as noted above: the size of the gift really isn't all that big relative to the loot and to what got spent in politics.
Posted by AFinch on December 31, 2013 at 8:23 AM · Report this
It's an old joke.

"We've determined your a whore, now we just need to negotiate the price."

Some of you folk go might damn cheap!
Posted by slappy321 on December 31, 2013 at 11:11 AM · Report this
Good riddance to Mr. Simmons.

Contradictions are straight from Satan's play-book. That a Bond-villain-type deranged billionaire like Mr. Simmons pulled from the horned-one's playbook, and mixed a few tablespoons of truth and goodness in with his ocean of lies and evil, is no great puzzle.

Rather, it is in the grand tradition of personified Evil to try to confound the judgment and resolve of the Good by occasionally mixing morsels of the benign into his stew of malignancy.
Posted by Functional Atheist on December 31, 2013 at 2:05 PM · Report this
Cascadian Bacon 32
I will leave slog forever for a mere $100,000, for payment I accept cash, precious metals, firearms and ammunition.
Posted by Cascadian Bacon on December 31, 2013 at 7:31 PM · Report this
@32 The guns and ammo are for armegeddon in case the republicans win in 2016? A highly unlikely scenario, given the stupidity of the republicans, but one cannot see the future, grasshopper. If that happens I will give you the G.P.S. coordinates to my bunker.
Posted by longwayhome on December 31, 2013 at 8:59 PM · Report this
sissoucat 34
Hush money given by a father to his two adult daughters ?

What did he do to them ?
Posted by sissoucat on January 1, 2014 at 1:46 PM · Report this
sissoucat 35
@31 Er, if you an Atheist, why the Satan, Good and Evil capitalized talk ?
Posted by sissoucat on January 1, 2014 at 1:49 PM · Report this

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