Headlines Don't Get More Terrifying Than This: "Sixty hurt in Argentina piranha attack."

The End of the Affair Marriage: The Spitzers are getting a divorce.

Why Not Just Call It National Homophobia Day and Get It Over With? Alex Moore at Death and Taxes says that supporters of Duck Dynasty's Phil Robertson are planning something called "Chick-Phil-A Day."

The idea is to tie Phil Robertson’s anti-gay comments to Chick-Fil-A CEO Dan Cathy’s anti-gay religious rhetoric for a hybrid Chick-Phil-A event where people will dress in camouflage and eat at Chick-Fil-A.

You'll Shoot Your Eye Out: South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley didn't get a Red Rider BB gun for Christmas. She got a $575 Beretta PX4 Storm handgun.

I'm Impressed That They Narrowed It Down to Just Five: Salon's Elias Isquith has published a list titled "Fox News' 5 worst moments of 2013." I'm a little surprised Isquith didn't include Sarah Palin's admission that she didn't read that Robertson interview before she started shooting off her mouth about it. That's one of the dumbest things I've heard all year.

That's Not What Boxing Day Means, but Whatever: Engineering students rethink the cardboard box.

Fall Down Go Boom: It's the end of the year, which means it's time for my guiltiest YouTube pleasure: Watching year-end fail compilations. The below video contains a half hour of head trauma, painful-looking accidents, and some seriously frightening incidents (the skydiving one is probably going to be starring in a nightmare of mine later tonight.) But I couldn't look away, and I also couldn't stop laughing. Most of these videos involve teenage boys doing stupid shit. About half of them, I think, end with people laughing at the boy when he shows signs that he survived whatever dumb stunt he tried to do. It's a spectacle that triggers my primate urge to look, and to feel empathy, and then to take pleasure in someone else's misfortune. Whenever I'm done watching these things, I'm always swept up in a wave of self-loathing. I think maybe that's the real reason why they're called fail videos.