There are those who rush around during the holidays, sending unasked-for Christmas cards, buying terrible presents for everyone (including people they hate), and begging you to attend their caroling performances—which sound like someone threw a bag of cats into a cement mixer. Then there are those who pull down the shades, drain a bottle of Jim Beam, eat an entire pan of far-too-hot Totino's Pizza Rolls, and watch TV Christmas specials while cleaning their firearms. (Sound familiar?)

Anyway, for those in the second group, I want to make it nice and eeeeasy for you to find all your fave holiday specials this week, especially since you're drunk and holding a crossbow. So here's a list of the heavy hitters that you won't want to miss, and... umm... I think the arrow goes in the other direction. Mmm-kay.

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