Tonight, Dave Segal suggests that you go see a musician, band, musical act, singer, performer, performance artist, or DJ named “TJ Max” at Chop Suey. To claim any prior familiarity with this artist would constitute a fabrication so large that it would most likely qualify as a federal offense.

I’ve spent the last month trying to think of a joke like, “music wizard Dave Segal recommends you GO SHOPPING AT THE NEW TJ MAXX DOWNTOWN, haha.” Not only is that not funny, it’s also confusing. I mean, I just searched for “tj max music” on YouTube and found a 109-song playlist called “TJ Maxx Playlist,” (featuring Bobby McFerrin, The Pointer Sisters, Paul Simon, Bill Withers and many more) which I’m pretty sure is just a list of songs that the user has heard in TJ Maxx? Songs the user would like to hear in TJ Maxx? Songs that are meant remind us of the experience we get will pushing a shopping cart through a TJ Maxx?

Thankfully, TJ Max doesn’t make the kind of music you’d hear in a TJ Maxx. Here’s their bandcamp page. Chop Suey, tonight, 9 pm.