Originally published December 13, 2007:

A while back, I discovered my fiancé was having an affair, so we broke up. Maybe I should have laid down specific ground rules when we got back together, but I still felt betrayed when I found out that he was in regular contact with the Other Woman. I avoid social gatherings that I know the Other Woman will be at, but my fiancé goes without me. He knows I hate it, but he guilts me about not trusting him. I've even seen her name in his e-mail inbox. (I wasn't deliberately spying—we share the same computer.) Am I wrong to feel insecure or is my fiancé being insensitive?

Going On Paranoid

My response after the jump...

Your fiancé cheated, GOP, so the onus is on him to avoid, within reason, doing things that make you feel insecure. Hanging out with the OW, e-mailing the OW, chatting with the OW at parties—he shouldn't be doing any of that crap out of simple consideration for your feelings. If you're going to marry him, you have to forgive him and trust him. But he has to avoid doing things that give you more cause to mistrust him than he's given you already.

And, finally, he has the nerve to guilt you? He sounds like a manipulative, selfish jerk, GOP—which are the warning signs of a habitual, serial cheater. Are you sure you wanna marry this douche?