But but but! I can hear you thinking. A column all about butts? Every Monday? Here on Slog? Is this real? It is. Just butt news? No, also news pertaining to butter, butterflies, and buttressing. Welcome. Have a seat.
• A man and his butt were seen hanging from a fence in Seattle's Cal Anderson Park earlier today (photo here) prompting Megan Seling to wonder, "Is his butt stuck to that fence? It looks like he somehow got his butt stuck to that fence..." His butt did not appear to be stuck to the fence. When told his butt was fine, Megan replied, "Oh, good. Thanks for the butt update," inadvertently birthing the idea for this column.
• Congressman Randy Neugebauer, who voted to shut the government down and then yelled at the employee at a federal monument because he and his friends couldn't come in because, again, of the shutdown, which he voted for, was called "an asshole" by Paul Constant today.
• The band The Blow is on its way to Seattle to perform at Neumos tonight. Multiple Stranger critics have weighed in positively about the band's latest. But it was unknown until recently how exactly Khaela and Melissa's butts were being transported to town. Let it be known:
Send news of butts you've kicked, chairs you've sat in, people who are assholes, butter you've tasted, butterflies who've landed on you, and buttresses you have feelings about to me via twitter (or email if you're nasty) to be considered for inclusion in next Monday afternoon's Butt Update, Slog's Cheeky New Butt News Roundup™.