Just kidding about that all-hockey edition of the news, guys! Here's the real news.
The Stand-Off at a Kenyan Mall Continues: Yesterday it was looking as though the situation was under control, but the al-Qaeda-linked terrorists have taken to Twitter to let Kenyan officials know they still have hostages.
NIGHTMARES: Authorities believe a missing Kentucky woman has been eaten by the "dozens of hybrid wolf-dogs she kept in her yard." Their theory is that she "became sick and died and that the dogs... consumed her body to survive."
More Leaking: A former FBI agent plans to plead guilty to leaking secret information, which Attorney General Eric Holder says was one of the most serious leaks in US history. All this talk about leaking makes me think of tampon and diaper commercials.
On Sept. 15, buses transported 200 homeless women, children and families to Villa Christina for the event. It began at 2 p.m. with outdoor appetizers and space for the children to run and play.
The event then moved inside, where the approximately 50 children had a room to themselves with face-painting, juggling and crowns.
"The children had chicken fingers, French fries, fresh fruit and chocolate chip cookies," Carol Fowler said. "The adults had salmon and chicken."
"All the plates were empty and there wasn't any leftover food at all. It was an eye-opening experience," Foster said. "You go to weddings sometimes and you see a lot of people really waste food. We take so many things for granted. These clients or guests, as we call them, they don't."
Lastly: IT IS FALL! LEAVES ARE CHANGING! THIS DOG IS SO HAPPY! HOORAY!