Welcome to college! And good fucking luck! Yeah, sure, expect thrilling cerebral highs—that have nothing to do with higher learning. College is mostly about another kind of learning: getting into and out of trouble. Oh, god, the trouble you're going to get into. The idiots who make The Stranger went to college, too, and some of us even finished! We've gotten into enough trouble in our day that we're kinda sorta experts on getting out of it, and this week, just because we like you, we share the fruits of our learning with you.