by Dan Savage
on Fri, Aug 16, 2013 at 3:10 PM
Word on the street is that you enjoy sucking lube and fecal matter from your fairy boy's little bum tunnel. Is this true? HMU! Cheers mate!
My response to Rick—and his response to my response, and mine to his to mine, and his to mine to his to mine—after the jump.
You hang out on some weird streets.—Dan
Yes sir! They're very liberal! xD xD xD—Rick.
Careful you don't slip in a puddle of lube and fall when you're getting up off your knees only to fall and scrape those hardworking, long-suffering knees of yours.—Dan
Whatever you say Mr. Billy Buttsniffer! xD xD xD—Rick
Do more than sniff, man.—Dan
And I'll bet you have a feces lickin' good time don't cha mate!? O.o —Rick
You seem obsessed with poop. You should talk to someone about that. Someone else. A mental health pro?—Dan
Whatever you say, Mr. Buttsniffer!—Rick
Do you eat pussy?—Dan
Actually I do not eat pussy. I think that is disgusting to put my tongue where either feces and/or urine comes out of. Or in your case, a mixture of both. Do you lick feces, Mr. Buttsniffer?—Rick
I do not lick feces. So no oral for your lady friend(s)? That's too bad for your lady friend(s). You do realize, though, that you can perform oral on a woman without licking her urethral opening? You can stick to the clit and the labia, Rick, if you make an effort, keep the light on, and pay attention.—Dan
See bub, here's the problem I have with you people. First, I'm married now for 14 years to a HOT chic! She just prefers I don't go down there. And that's not really a problem for me at all. See, life's an adventure. And a GREAT one I might add. But for you fags and lezbos, its all and ONLY about sex. Which is very unfortunate. Because there's simply WAAAYYYYYYY more to life than that. But you go on with your HIV acquiring self and continue to lust uncontrollably over hairy, muscular asses. It's no surprises AIDS is so rampant in the gay community just by reading what you have to say. You need to live in such a way where your tongue is constantly tasting feces and sweat or else you'll become anxious. All I can say is, I'm happy and PROUD that I was not born as a minority such as you. Always craving some nasty human body fluid in your sick mouth! You make us normal people sick and this is why you will never be accepted in society. There will always be talk behind your back and the only thing you will ever be able to do about it is whine and complain. But it simply will not get you anywhere. You are a disgusting minority and a bully, sir. And surely you have been afraid to contract HIV in your life many times. Cheers mate! Or should I simply refer to you as .... The Buttsniffer!!!! xD xD xD —Rick
I've been with the same guy for 18 years, married for 8 (almost 9), and together we've raised a 15 year old kid together. I know that life isn't just about sex—our lives, and our commitment to each other, is about so much more than just sex. And here's another thing: I don't look at straight couples and only see dicks sliding into pussies because I know that straight people and straight relationships and straight lives aren't defined by sex. Maybe some are, I guess, because some straight people live for sex, and some straight people aren't that into commitment or kids or family. And that's fine. But those straight people are a minority and I wouldn't point at a straight person who lives for sex and say, "They're all like that!" There may be more gay people, as a percentage, who build their lives around sex—that's easier for gay people to do because getting men to fuck you is way easier than getting women to fuck you—but those guys are a small percentage of the total number of fags (and lezbos!) out there. (And just because a gay guy is obsessed about sex at, say, 25, it doesn't mean he'll still be as obsessed at 35 or 45. Gay people, like straight people, sometimes settle down.) But it's only the sex-focused gay guys that straight guys like you obsess over endlessly. Why is that do you suppose?
As for "never being accepted in society," I don't know, man. The mayor of Seattle was at my wedding, the governor of Washington state invited me and my husband to his inauguration, and the president of the United States invited us to the White House. I don't usually talk about that kind of shit because it stupid and who gives a shit. But that all of that counts for something on the "accepted by society" scale, doesn't it? Increasingly it seems that a person who says and does pro-gay things—or a person who is gay—can get elected to office but someone who talks like you can't. So who is unacceptable to society here, I wonder? You or me?
Quickly wanna tie up a few loose ends—your favorite kind of ends!—before I dash off and sniff some butts: Yes, I do fear contracting HIV. Which is why I've always taken steps to protect myself from HIV. And I am still HIV-negative despite my three decades of butt lovin'. Yes, I do sometimes crave "nasty human body fluid." Don't we all? My tongue has never tasted feces—and really, Rick, who likes to think about tasting feces? Besides you, of course. You like to think about it. And my spouse is HOT too! So we're both lucky men. But my spouse gets regular oral which makes him luckier than yours.
And maybe your wife prefers that you "don't go down there" because you're bad at it?—Dan
You'll always be a disgusting little buttsniffer in my book, bub! Using the word "faggot" in a derogatory sense is still alive and well! Cheers mate!—Rick
And you'll always be just another deranged straight guy who spends more time thinking about other men's butts than I do! A deranged straight guy who doesn't eat pussy—which, you know, when taken together with item #1 and all that tongue-on-feces stuff that you can't get out of you mind... well, it might lead someone to think...
Nah, let's not think about that!
Nice talking to you, Rick! Relay my sympathies to your poor wife!—Dan