Burke Now Offering Crash Courses! A University of Washington student broke both his arms after a bump on the Burke Gilman Trail threw him off his bike. Twenty-one-year-old Tait Russell now needs surgery he can't afford and faces the challenge of keeping up with school.

Note to Self: Burn Notes to Self. A man is being charged with assault and malicious mischief for throwing acid in a judge's face last September. Charging documents included a planning list 33-year-old Michael Martin apparently wrote.

Find out where Judge Brett Buckley lives
Get Water bottles ready for battery acid
Recon judge home again (nobody home :(
Call Lowe's for battery acid (no go)
Go 2 NAPA 4 battery acid"

Do I Get to Keep the Pot? Start saving your pennies and dime bags. Seattle City Council is considering a law that would make smoking pot in public a ticketable offense. If the law is passed, officers would still give a verbal warning before writing the $103 ticket.

Douchey Dog News: Washington resident Brandon Harker gets deployed to Afghanistan. Brandon leaves his beloved dog Oakley with his douchey friend until he returns. Douchey friend gets tired of Oakley and gets rid of the dog on Craigslist. Brandon returns from Afghanistan, learns of the bad news, and goes to Craigslist to try to get Oakley back.

Through the Gift Shop: A wall hosting the "No Ball Games" mural by famed street artist Bansky was dismantled in London. Over the next six months, it will be restored to its original condition—defeating the point of street art—and sold for charity.

Well, That's Cryptic: Egypt's Interior Minister Mohamed Ibrahim has pledged that protests in support of ousted president Mohamed Morsi will be dispersed "soon." Ibrahim said that security forces would strive for "the minimum losses possible." Today's protests killed at least 38 Morsi supporters.

Italy Bananas Over Their First Black Minister: A banana was thrown at Italy's first black Minister of Integration, Cécile Kyenge, during a speech she was making at a party rally. On top of harsh criticism for her beliefs in making Italian immigration easier, Kyenge has been the target of racial slurs since she was appointed in April. Kyenge called the gesture "sad" and a waste of food.

Florida Hostage Situation Falls Apart: Hialeah officers stormed an apartment building after negotiations with a gunman went sour last night, killing the gunman and saving two hostages. Before the officers ended the situation, the gunman had already killed six civilians.

This cat understands good hygiene.