I have a sex question I can't really talk about with anyone else and today it dawned on me: I should ask Dan Savage!

First the question: Can receptive anal intercourse give you erectile dysfunction?

Background: I'm a professional, hetero-married, un-conflicted bisexual, and to use the Savage-ism, just a little monogamish, meaning once every few years, I hook up with a guy for what I think of as safety-valve sex. I will cop to being a bit of a size-queen, so last week I posted to Craigslist looking for someone hung willing to do me in my office. Nice looking guy came over, and he was indeed packing. We did mutual oral, me pausing now end then just to pull back and admire the equipment, then he put me over my desk and pounded the daylights out of me. Good time had by all.

This seemed to flip some sort of switch in me, and I couldn't stop thinking about the experience, jacking off about it four times over the next 24 hours. Then for the next couple of days, I had this overwhelming desire for anal penetration, just wild with desire. I did myself repeatedly with the dildo I keep in my office. I even went to the drug store and searched the aisles till I found a cylindrical plastic bottle of conditioner with the right diameter (just about what I can reach around from thumb to index finger). I must've spent over an hour on Saturday fucking myself.

On Saturday evening, though, I found myself unable to get an erection! This is not normal for me. Only twice in the last thirty years, once while drunk and once stoned, have I not been able to get erect. On Sunday I still could not get it up. I tried fantasies, porn (straight, gay, trans), erotica: nothing. By Monday, still nothing.

I started to get scared. Oh no, I thought, I've done some kind of nerve damage and crippled myself. As you probably know, the physiology of erection is complex, involving multiple pathways, but most importantly parasympathetic stimulation from the Sacral 2-4 nerve roots, which also supply sensation to the rectum. Nerve injury can take a very long time to heal (if at all). A couple months ago I used a wrist splint that was too tight and part of my thumb is still a little numb. So then I was really worried, not least of which what to tell my wife.

Well, today it's a little better. With a little more effort than normal I got a decent boner this morning and again just now to prove it wasn't a fluke. Phew.

So, my question: Is this a known thing?

Basically Over Non-Erectile Reaction

P.S. I couldn't find anything in the medical literature. Google does return some similar anecdotes but no clear answer. If this is a known problem (rather than just something weird about me), it should be publicized more widely. Thanks for any insight here.

My response after the jump...

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Hm.

If ass-fucking-induced erectile dysfunction were a known thing—if ass-fucking-induced erectile dysfunction was a thing that happened to even a tiny percentage of assfuckers—it's a safe bet that I would've heard of it by now. Or experienced it myself, BONER, or induced it in someone else. But seeing as I haven't heard of it, experienced it, or induced it, I'm guessing it's not a thing, known or otherwise, that happens to assfuckers, size-queens or otherwise.

And while I wasn't aware of the sacral nerves and the crucial role they play in both ass thrills and dick chills—the nervous system is above my pay grade (I'm an advice columnist, not an internist)—here's something I do know: dicks are a lot like Tinker Bell. You gotta believe. And any guy who convinces himself that his Tinker Bell is dying, any guy who stops believing in his Tinker Bell, is a guy who risks killing his Tinker Bell.

So instead of freaking out when your dick went temporarily soft after 72 straight bi hours (!) of aggressive assplay and jerkin' off, BONER, as that could seriously complicate getting your boner back later, you should've comforted yourself with the thought that your dick was simply beat. Your exhausted dick was putting your right hand in a timeout. Your dick was letting you know it was time to pull the bottle of conditioner out of your ass and go for a walk or to the movies or something. Because there's only so much a dick can take.

P.S. I hope those monogamish, man-on-man adventures of yours are okay with the wife and that you're using protection as well as conditioner.