For Shame, Texas Senate. The Texas Senate passed new abortion restrictions late last night. The new restrictions forbid abortions after 20 weeks, require all abortions take place in surgical centers (which only 5 clinics in the state qualify to be), and require abortion doctors to have admitting privileges at a nearby hospital. Meanwhile, hordes of opposition stood outside the chamber chanting "Shame! Shame! Shame!"

Judge Orders UW to Pay Family $15 Million: 8-year-old MacKenzie Briant went into cardiac arrest 4 years ago after taking nasal spray recommended by a University of Washington doctor. The experience left her with permanent brain damage. The family sued UW medicine for negligence and won, despite UW Medicine's claim that the spray wasn't the cause for her cardiac arrest.

Dog-gone Stem Cells Stop Cat-astrophe! A Bremerton veterinary office has started using stem cell therapy on sick cats and dogs. The cells are extracted from inside the animals' fat and injected into their ailment (like bad joints) with fantastic results. Don't tell Texas though, they hate useful medical procedures almost as much as they hate women.

Oh Crap That's A Lot of Escaped Convicts: In Indonesia, police are searching for 131 escaped convicts after a riot in an overcrowded prison led to a mass escape. The riot killed three inmates and two prison staff. Indonesian President Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono promised $100 million to improve prison capacity.

Tens of Thousands Have Morsi's Back: Egyptians flocked to Cairo in thousands to call for the reinstatement of the deposed president, Mohamed Morsi. "I am here to say 'no' to the military coup and 'yes' to Morsi, who I see as my legitimate president, although I am not in the Brotherhood and nor did I vote for him," said 22-year-old Ahmed Adel.

Ninety-Year-Old Gives Me Low Self Esteem: The Seattle To Portland Classic started at 4:45 this morning. STP Facts! The ride is 202.25 miles long, the final wave of riders took off at 7:30 a.m. (so they should be out of Seattle soon), and the oldest registered rider is 90 years old, making the rest of us feel like lazy pieces of shit.

San Francisco Flight Deaths Go Up to Three: San Francisco General Hospital reported one of the injured passengers from Asiana Flight 214 died yesterday afternoon. 2 others injured in the crash remain in critical condition.

That's The Intern You Only Make Get Coffee. Remember when a California news station reported those fake racists names for Asiana Flight 241 pilots? Well, blame the intern. The National Transportation Safety Board released a press release saying that "a summer intern acted outside the scope of his authority when he erroneously confirmed the names of the flight crew on the aircraft."

Is it better to try, and fail? Or to never try at all? This cat has the answer.