I punched him. I punched that motherfucker in the dick so hard that it was like I was a heroine in a martial arts movie. And then I streaked through the crowd, adrenaline pumping through me as I heard him yell "you BITCH!"
Hey, man, you clearly wanted her to touch your wiener. I guess you'll have to be real specific about the velocity of the grope you want next time or something? I say every time a dance-floor groper gets a dick punch, a fairy gets its wings (plus a set of reusable menstrual pads). Go read it.