I'm referring to the Capitol Hill in Seattle, not the Capitol Hill with all the bossy old white men. Okay, that's not helpful disambiguation (sorry, Michael Wells). What I meant to say was, not the Capitol Hill run by a guy with an inflated sense of self-importance who thinks he's god's gift to politics and the economy. You're right—that still sounds like Michael Wells. I mean, not the one in Washington, DC.

Anyway, the problem with Capitol Hill, apparently, is that it's not enough like a shopping mall, according to a new report commissioned by the Capitol Hill Chamber of Commerce, which is run by Michael Wells. It recommends more penalties for aggressive panhandlers (aggressive begging is already a criminal offense), razing "underutilized" properties for redevelopment, and hosting neighborhood events for "attendees that align with Corridor retailer’s target customers." That's partly why the neighborhood is "not robust enough to attract high-end tenants."

I'm sure people who live on Capitol Hill will agree that this report makes a wonderful case for doing none of those things. Sorry, Michael Wells.