So, over the weekend I rented The Hobbit from a Redbox. I thought is was pretty blah. All I'm saying is I hope that CGI technology improves a whole yardstick before the next installment comes out, because it blew on this one, and this one would have been approximately five minutes long if you cut out all the scenes involving the shitty CGI. WHY DON'T YOU JUST PUT A CGI BABY IN ANGELINA JOLIE'S ARMS?

Anyhow, I bring this up because I have encountered a major modern-world/first-world problem. After beginning The Hobbit and then falling asleep, and then finishing it the next morning, I realized that my DVD player had decided to shit the tub. The Hobbit is stuck inside. Naturally, the only place I can turn for advice is the Collective Wisdom of Slog™.