There are too many retro games to count, but only a few of them are fun on their own terms. This may result from the rapid evolution of gaming—any particular slice of nostalgia is only going to light up a few brains which were wrapped up in games during the month or year in question. ASCII games may have lasted longer than other tech, but they only touched a few of us who were so needy for dopamine that we chose to identify with @ symbols as they barreled through typographic mazes, questing for Amulets of Yondor and such. Candy Box takes ASCII graphics and, er, story, wraps it in some interesting mechanics and extremely silly candy themes, and offers something way more fun than it ought to be.

Part of the joy of the game is learning how to play—the dev should be making top dollar consulting with other devs on camouflaging tutorials—so we won't say much more than that your playful messing around will be rewarded. The game is more food-obsessed than Pac-Man, Burger Time, and Cooking Mama put together, and it is weird and challenging enough to keep us coming back.

This is you. On the left. The dragon is not you.
  • This is you. On the left. The dragon is not you.

Oh! Wait! This is important! Saving is messed-up, weird, and easy to forget. You've got to click a tiny button marked "Save" at the top of the main tab, and then either bookmark the link it gives you or note the five-character tag so you can retrieve your save later. You could also just leave your browser running indefinitely, of course. We failed to save several times early on, and the riddles of the swamp frog were only entertaining the first time through.

Please note: Candy Box is, as far as we can tell, in no way associated with Candy Land.

Thanks to Slog zoom-tipper Christine!

The Stranger Testing Department is Rob Lightner and Paul Hughes.