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Wednesday, May 1, 2013

For Right-Wing Nuts, Cruz Is the new Rubio

Posted by on Wed, May 1, 2013 at 1:08 PM

National Review says that teabaggy first-term Texas Senator Ted Cruz is thinking about running for president in 2016. The commenters are so giddy about the prospect that you'd think Cruz was the second coming of Santorum:

Cruz would be a great president. Let's beat the Obama zombies at their game and register in all 57 states.

He's fearless ? !! This country needs fearless, and we need it now !!!!!!!!!!!

I'm unemployed and broke but I'd send $$$ to his campaign instead of eating. This guy is the one last hope to save this country from this Communism. Run Ted run!

I live in California and I consider Ted Cruz my Senator because we don't have any senators in California. What we do have are traitors who have forsaken their oath to defend and protect the Constitution of the United States by attempting to circumvent the Bill of Rights and who have abrogated their responsibilities to the United Nations.

I will support any right wing radical. Cruz is the man and he is even Latino! To make the reverse racists happy. The left has certainly finally done us in and it is time for real change.

A lot of these commenters used to be for Marco Rubio, but now that Rubio has said that immigration needs reform, they have marked him as a RINO in the Romney/McCain style, which makes Cruz their man by default. In response to this news, ThinkProgress has assembled a list of five conspiracy theories that Cruz believes, including the liberal/socialist plan to rid the nation of golf.


Comments (20) RSS

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Nelson Bradley 1
The poor man's Rick Perry.
Posted by Nelson Bradley on May 1, 2013 at 1:14 PM · Report this
It is beginning to look like the Republican party is planning to double down on their "lets find as many delusional nut jobs to run for President as possible" strategy from 2012.

Posted by Machiavelli was framed on May 1, 2013 at 1:21 PM · Report this
I bet 99% of those people are birthers. I wonder if they know Ted Cruz was born in Canada to a Cuban father and an American mother.
Posted by One Breath on May 1, 2013 at 1:25 PM · Report this
Hernandez 4
@2 No shit, right? No self-awareness in that party. None. It's just a race to the bottom of the crazy barrel.

At this rate, in 2016 the Democrats could run a Teddy Ruxpin, waving a little American flag with a warped Journey cassette jammed in it, and it would still sound more coherent than any of the Republican candidates.
Posted by Hernandez on May 1, 2013 at 1:27 PM · Report this
Urgutha Forka 5
They do know, but their (new) excuse is that Obama isn't a citizen because his mother renounced her U.S. citizenship before Barack was born.

/which is, of course, untrue.
//like everything else they say.
Posted by Urgutha Forka on May 1, 2013 at 1:29 PM · Report this
TVDinner 6
In fairness, this particular frothing socialist would love to see golf eradicated.
Posted by TVDinner http:// on May 1, 2013 at 1:35 PM · Report this
Knat 7
@2: Amusingly, his official web page says nothing about it. Apparently he sprang out of his mother's womb fully grown, with a sense of civic duty and already sporting the title of Solicitor General.

...or maybe it's a conspiracy by the NYT, Wikipedia, and the rest of the lame-stream media to paint him as a Canadian?!?!?!?!111
Posted by Knat on May 1, 2013 at 1:36 PM · Report this
@4: who will be Ruxpin's running mate? I first thought of Papa Smurf, but maybe there are better options.
Posted by drawn on May 1, 2013 at 1:59 PM · Report this
Max Solomon 9
Cruz is too dumb to be scared. So was Bush.

As dumb as both are, most Americans are dumber.

America is so dumb it probably deserves 8 years of Cruz in charge. The rest of the planet doesn't though.
Posted by Max Solomon on May 1, 2013 at 1:59 PM · Report this
Fnarf 10
Cruz is going to campaign with Rick Perry's debating notes, and he's going to get slaughtered just like Perry was. Cruz is smarter than Perry, but so is a bag of cat fur.
Posted by Fnarf on May 1, 2013 at 2:13 PM · Report this
sloegin 11
A lot of nationally prominent right wing nutjobs are imported.

Apparently made in the USA doesn't cut it anymore.
Posted by sloegin on May 1, 2013 at 2:14 PM · Report this
"'d think Cruz was the second coming of Santorum."

The only mental image more traumatic than thinking of Santorum coming is thinking of Santorum coming a second time.
Posted by Clayton on May 1, 2013 at 2:34 PM · Report this
@10 is smarter than Perry, but so is a bag of cat fur.

My new favorite expression! Unfortunately, I can't actually say it out loud because I start wheezing with laughter when I try.

I'll practice, though.
Posted by Brooklyn Reader on May 1, 2013 at 2:35 PM · Report this
"'d think Cruz was the second coming of Santorum."

What a mess.
Posted by SolM on May 1, 2013 at 2:54 PM · Report this
Remember when all the pundits were saying that Rick Perry's entry into the 2012 campaign was a "game changer"? The phrase should have been retired then and there, but it lingers.
Posted by Toe Tag on May 1, 2013 at 3:02 PM · Report this
Pope Peabrain 16
The Washington Post has been ripping his skin off for not cooperating with Republicans. He's erratic, belligerent and rude. In other words, a Teabaggers dream.
Posted by Pope Peabrain on May 1, 2013 at 3:03 PM · Report this
MacCrocodile 17
@15 - It doesn't mean the game was improved, just that it became a different kind of stupid, stupid game for morons.
Posted by MacCrocodile on May 1, 2013 at 3:26 PM · Report this
Another fantastic example of how the Constitution really only matters to them if it matters to them. Cruz was born in Canada. He's constitutionally ineligible. So there's that...
Posted by slainte on May 1, 2013 at 4:20 PM · Report this
Turns out my earlier post is not true. I did not realize when I posted that his mother is an American citizen, which naturalizes him. I need to research before I post. Which, apparently, is why I'm not a journalist.
Posted by slainte on May 1, 2013 at 4:35 PM · Report this
Fnarf 20
@19, otherwise, John McCain would've been ineligible, too -- born in Panama. And George Romney, Mitt's daddy -- born in Mexico.

I read a birther screed once where they were claiming that "natural born" means "born in the USA, and so were both your parents", which is just ridiculous. The real hard core of Truthers is going to insist that all candidates must have been born inside a Cracker Barrel restaurant soon.
Posted by Fnarf on May 1, 2013 at 5:43 PM · Report this

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