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Thursday, April 25, 2013

Morning News: Bow Down to the Sun

Posted by on Thu, Apr 25, 2013 at 7:34 AM

Mostly Sunny with Highs Near Seventy: The sun is apparently vacationing in Seattle this week. Won't you join me for a bowl of breakfast ice cream?

Don't Leave Pets Locked in Your Goddamn Cars, Goddammit: Especially not for six days without food and water, like some West Seattle assholes. Thankfully, this dog is fine.

Won't JESUS + MARY Be Proud: Waving his dick at the First Amendment, Kansas Governor Sam Brownback just signed a new bill that he personally labeled the "JESUS + MARY" measure, proclaiming that life begins at conception and forcing abortion providers to read scripted lies to women seeking their services.

“There’s a dead man. I think there’s a dead man out there.” Federal Way Police have released the 911 calls from Sunday's domestic-violence related shooting. Domestic violence is the #1 cause of injury to American women, by the way.

Search Continues for Bangladesh Factory Survivors: More than 1,000 people have been injured. The details are horrific.

Some 2,000 people were in the Rana Plaza building in Savar, some 30km (20 miles) outside Dhaka, when it collapsed suddenly on Wednesday morning... Trapped workers can be heard inside the rubble, screaming for help. Food and water is being passed to survivors through gaps in the the rubble... Police said the factory owners had ignored warnings not to allow their workers into the building after cracks were noticed on Tuesday.

Dzhokhar Tsarnaev Falls Silent: The 19-year-old suspect stopped speaking with authorities after he was read his Miranda rights. However, he did tell police that his older brother had only recently recruited him to help detonate pressure-cooker bombs at the Boston marathon finish line. Meanwhile, Tsarnaev's mother regrets ever emigrating to the US.

Three Adults Arrested for Allegedly Selling Marijuana to Ballard Kids: Police recovered 1,200 grams of marijuana, 99 joints, seven pot plants, eight trays of laced brownies, four shotguns, one .22-caliber rifle, six handguns, two pellet guns, and $4,755 from the residence.

Women as Leftovers: A growing number of career-driven women in China can't find partners because they make too much money. This is not a problem I can relate to.

Women as a Subcategory: A woman notices that Wikipedia editors have been quietly removing American female novelists like Harper Lee from its main category page to make room for more real American novelists.

And finally, Ask a Mortician tackles ghosts while in Savannah, Georgia:


Comments (14) RSS

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sikandro 1
This made me laugh.

"An enterprising soul has just launched a new “American men novelists” category, bizarrely only currently including Orson Scott Card, and PD Cacek – a woman."
Posted by sikandro on April 25, 2013 at 10:26 AM · Report this
Max Solomon 2
we regret your emigrating to america, too, you delusional grifter.
Posted by Max Solomon on April 25, 2013 at 10:40 AM · Report this
Theodore Gorath 3
99 tightly rolled joints on the wall
99 tightly rolled joints
take one down
pass it around
98 tightly rolled joints on the wall

Posted by Theodore Gorath on April 25, 2013 at 10:45 AM · Report this
Knat 4
Brownback gives further proof of his need for a Santorum-style neologism to follow him around for the rest of his life. The apes at urban dictionary are already on it, but I'm sure Dan and/or his flying monkeys could come up with something better.
Posted by Knat on April 25, 2013 at 10:53 AM · Report this
yelahneb 5
Caitlin Doughty is the best. I wish more people had her attitude/outlook regarding death.
Posted by yelahneb on April 25, 2013 at 11:00 AM · Report this
venomlash 6
I love how Republicans are all up in arms about perceived government tyranny, but are all for forcing doctors to lie to their patients.
Posted by venomlash on April 25, 2013 at 11:10 AM · Report this
Oh, lordy, almost forgot this definiton of JACKHOLES!…
Posted by sgt_doom on April 25, 2013 at 11:16 AM · Report this
Urgutha Forka 9
RE: Brownback's religious anti abortion bill.

This is the reason I'm not just atheist, but anti-theist. Christians complain that atheists are aggressive and pushing their atheist agendas and why can't they just mind their own business.

This is why I'm not going to mind my own business. I would gladly leave them alone if they would leave me alone. But they don't. They tell people its your choice if you want to believe or not, and when you tell them you don't believe they turn around and demand it.

Fuck religion.
Posted by Urgutha Forka on April 25, 2013 at 11:17 AM · Report this
Sir Vic 10
99 joints = 1 J-Z
Posted by Sir Vic on April 25, 2013 at 11:19 AM · Report this
Theodore Gorath 11
@9: Especially when you realize the the whole of the "atheist agenda" (if there even is one), is just to get religionists to stop shoving their bullshit down our throats with the help of a sympathetic and enthralled government.

Posted by Theodore Gorath on April 25, 2013 at 11:40 AM · Report this
Knat 12
@7, 8

So, no updates on your project to sign off from Slog for good, then? Don't get me wrong, I much prefer your new method of keeping the citation-free evil quotes and laughably nutty conspiracy theories on the other side of the hyperlinks rather than spamming them over here, but I think Slog would be even better served by you upholding your promise to go away.
Posted by Knat on April 25, 2013 at 12:12 PM · Report this
The dating news in China is really perplexing. Supposedly after decades of one child and female infantacide, they have a gender ratio skewed toward males that is nearly as bad as Seattle. Yet I also have read stories about females having to go online and buy dates with guys. So what is the real dirt in China? Or is everyone there mostly gay?

Posted by Supreme Ruler Of The Universe http://_ on April 25, 2013 at 12:22 PM · Report this
Will in Seattle 14
@13 well, probably 2 percent of GDP growth in China of the 6-8% is due to new home construction as males compete to get women to marry them, so there is obviously a severe imbalance.

It depends on the region, however, as rural areas still have bride kidnapping and don't have the one-child policy for the most part - that's more of an urban and suburban things.

Can't speak to the gay thing, although I doubt it's much different than anywhere else.
Posted by Will in Seattle on April 25, 2013 at 1:57 PM · Report this

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