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Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Mark Driscoll Compares Wives to Water Torture

Posted by on Wed, Apr 24, 2013 at 12:30 PM

Every time Mars Hill "Church"'s "Pastor" Mark Driscoll opens his mouth, a metric shit-ton of stupid falls out. Here's the latest bale of bullshit, via Addicting Info, about the problem with wives:

They’re quarrelsome. They’re a nag. And some women — you’re a nag. You’re disrespectful. You’re quarrelsome. Being married to you is like a life sentence, and the guy’s just scratching on his wall every day. Proverbs talks about certain women—they’re like a dripping faucet. You ever tried to sleep with a dripping faucet? Plunk, plunk, plunk, plunk, plunk. It’s what we use to torture people who are prisoners of war. A wife is like that.

If Mark Driscoll thinks that being married to a woman is torture, he should know that, as a Washington State resident, he has plenty of other options. May I humbly suggest that Driscoll look into marrying a man? He might find that to be a much more amenable relationship, since he hates women so fucking much. Anyway, find video of the "pastor's" little rant over at Crooks and Liars.

(Many thanks to Slog tipper mr herriman.)


Comments (46) RSS

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I dont think of Driscoll as a Christian, and I say that as one. He drives a mustang. He dresses nice. He HAS A MUSTANG. Any church leader with a fancy car doesn't take what Jesus says about possessions very seriously. His hobbies are all about making himself better, and overpowering others; nothing in there doing the "helping other people" thing.
I went to his church a few times, the one downtown. I walked out after they started talking about how Christians are persecuted in Seattle. I was massively insulted by the flippant use of that very powerful word, and also by the complete ignorance it displayed of the actual suffering many actual souls are going through in this city. I have some awkward conversations because of my faith, but persecuted?!?! I have never EVER worried about being beaten up because of my faith. Gay folks, black folks, etc cant say the same.
My .02, Driscoll isnt a good Christian, doesn't have a soft, warm heart, and needs to get a grip and pray for real.
Posted by JonCracolici on March 17, 2014 at 11:38 PM · Report this
He was obviously talking about a quarrelsome wife, not any wife in general. It's silly how many people like to take things out of context, twist them, and then mock them. Perhaps your potential underlying bias against Jesus should be addressed rather than mocking His servants. Just sayin. Praying for you guys...not in a condescending way, just because His grace and Gospel is so good it should be shared.
Posted by Sngbrd10 on May 16, 2013 at 1:38 AM · Report this
treacle 46
@45 - Yes, but the meaningful context was equally as sexist and patriarchal.
Posted by treacle on April 27, 2013 at 12:01 PM · Report this
biju 45
Clearly, this was taken out of its meaningful context.
Posted by biju on April 26, 2013 at 9:38 PM · Report this
Why yes, I am drunk. That second drink dropped me right in the bag.
Posted by know-it-all on April 26, 2013 at 9:38 PM · Report this
Perhaps Mr. Driscoll (Father Driscoll? I'm an atheist so how the fuck do I know how he's addressed?) would do better to abstain from us cunts altogether except when he needs dump a load. To hear him tell it we're pretty damn unbearable so why bother with us at all? He should just rent one of us from time to time. At least then he'd be constructively interacting with us by helping some woman pay her student loans or feed her kids without being burdened by his awful, ethically impoverished,
intellectually impoverished, unoriginal, and a multitude of other icky things,
personality (the person thing is a bit of a stretch but I'm feeling generous).
Posted by know-it-all on April 26, 2013 at 9:35 PM · Report this
"The Dick-man is acting like a Dick." Comment 3400 of 305r305
Posted by UberAlles on April 26, 2013 at 7:13 PM · Report this
chaseacross 41
Everything he knows about marriage, he learned from watching Married with Children.
Posted by chaseacross on April 26, 2013 at 6:43 PM · Report this
lemonde 40
is he advocating homosexuality now?
Posted by lemonde on April 26, 2013 at 6:08 PM · Report this
kk in seattle 39
@2: Dripping of a leaky roof. (Proverbs 19:13, 27:15). What it means is that this moron doesn't know his Bible. Not surprising.
Posted by kk in seattle on April 25, 2013 at 12:11 AM · Report this
Who is it that fills this guy's pews? That's the scariest part, to me. I picture them as people with no self-confidence or sense of worth, just cultists latching on to the first person who will tell them, forcefully, how to think.
Posted by Brooklyn Reader on April 24, 2013 at 8:50 PM · Report this
stirwise 37
Between this shit and this shit I just want to take my vagina and leave the planet. Bleargh.
Posted by stirwise on April 24, 2013 at 5:51 PM · Report this
Oh my god. This guy is such a piece of shit. I hope he is better than he seems, and I say that, because if he is as bad as he seems, there is a 10 y/o kid tied up in a dark cabin in the woods somewhere...
Posted by scratchmaster joe on April 24, 2013 at 5:43 PM · Report this
Oh, man, there is just so much about what he says that's just infuriating. That whole bit about how if the mom disrespects the dad in front of the kids, the kids will also disrespect the dad. Well, that's certainly true, but it goes the other way (but Driscoll doesn't): If the dad disrespects the mom in front of the kids, the kids will also disrespect the mom.

What a douchebag.
Posted by NotYourStrawMan on April 24, 2013 at 5:21 PM · Report this
dwightmoodyforgetsthings 34
Well the Bible does have some advice on how to deal with misbehaving wives, how does Driscoll feel about beatings and stonings?
Posted by dwightmoodyforgetsthings on April 24, 2013 at 5:09 PM · Report this
Lissa 33
@32: Hey wait a minute. Was that a masturbation joke?
Posted by Lissa on April 24, 2013 at 4:15 PM · Report this
Someone needs to explain to Pastor Mark that the only way to get relief from a dripping faucet is to grab it by the handle and tug on it with all your might until it stops.
Posted by Furcifer on April 24, 2013 at 4:02 PM · Report this
Also, we dont torture prisoners of war. We torture unlawful enemy combatants.
Posted by No Excuses on April 24, 2013 at 3:15 PM · Report this
Knat 30
Oh good, something to keep an eye on for entertainment while things are slow at work tonight.
Posted by Knat on April 24, 2013 at 3:06 PM · Report this
balderdash 29
Shit like this always immediately makes me think the speaker must be one of those self-hating, outward-projecting closet cases like Rick Santorum or the ex-Pope, but I don't think Mark Driscoll is gay, really. I think he's just the biggest fucking narcissist in Washington.

(This Washington, mind you. There are even bigger ones in the other Washington.)
Posted by balderdash on April 24, 2013 at 2:49 PM · Report this
I imagine being married to "some wives" is torture, just like being married to "some men".

/ not a martian supporter
Posted by Hello Horses on April 24, 2013 at 2:22 PM · Report this
Julie in Eugene 26
@wisepunk. Well, see, I earn access to the internet by not nagging him. He keeps a handy chart on the kitchen wall -- I get a checkmark for every day I nag, and a gold star for every day I don't. Every gold star earns me 15 minutes of internet access! I've been especially nag-free this past week, so I have plenty of time to Slog!
Posted by Julie in Eugene on April 24, 2013 at 2:13 PM · Report this
Cato the Younger Younger 25 know what John Calvin did in Geneva right? Being a dick is just the smallest portion of the living hell Calvinists want you to experience
Posted by Cato the Younger Younger on April 24, 2013 at 2:08 PM · Report this
seandr 24
"compares wives to water torture"

Come on, water torture isn't that bad.
Posted by seandr on April 24, 2013 at 1:55 PM · Report this
bleedingheartlibertarian 22
Well, I've learned something today. I had no idea that being a dick was one of the pillars of Calvinism. But I have to say that it makes an awful lot of sense, now that I think about it.
Posted by bleedingheartlibertarian on April 24, 2013 at 1:37 PM · Report this
keshmeshi 21
Obviously men are always a joy and a dream to live with. Nothing to barely tolerate or view as a "life sentence". Nope. No sirree.
Posted by keshmeshi on April 24, 2013 at 1:36 PM · Report this
keshmeshi 20

Mars Hill Church and Mark Driscoll believe in the complete subjugation of women to men. So, you're right, he doesn't believe ALL women are like that, just the uppity ones.
Posted by keshmeshi on April 24, 2013 at 1:34 PM · Report this
Uh, marriage, by its very definition, is a life sentence.
Posted by Evil(tm) Evolutionist on April 24, 2013 at 1:32 PM · Report this
@17: Pics or GTFO.

Seriously, it ain't no good without pics.
Posted by MLM on April 24, 2013 at 1:28 PM · Report this
Cato the Younger Younger 17
@13, I keep telling you Mark Driscoll walks out of Club Z every Sunday morning around 5 am walking .....oddly.
Posted by Cato the Younger Younger on April 24, 2013 at 1:21 PM · Report this
wisepunk 16
dammit julie, I came here to make an amirite joke. How come your husband is allowing you on the internet?
Posted by wisepunk on April 24, 2013 at 1:21 PM · Report this
Hernandez 15
@6 Uh, you're the one splitting hairs, man. In fact, the phrase "all wives" appears nowhere in this post.

But really you're right, "some" women obviously means just the women that Driscoll himself has deemed insufficiently servile. He was simply referring to all married women who don't self-identify as vaginas with housecleaning attachments.
Posted by Hernandez on April 24, 2013 at 1:20 PM · Report this
MacCrocodile 14
@13 - What if it's prostitutes? Does that count as both? What if he embezzles money from the church to spend on hookers?
Posted by MacCrocodile on April 24, 2013 at 1:20 PM · Report this
I've always wondered if it's going to be sex scandal or the money scandal that brings Driscoll down. My guess: sex.
Posted by tiktok on April 24, 2013 at 1:13 PM · Report this
Fried Worms 12
@6 sure is acting like a dick.
Posted by Fried Worms on April 24, 2013 at 1:13 PM · Report this
Fried Worms 11
Watch the video. The whole thing is disgusting. This excerpt is by no means the only revolting thing he says. The whole talk is sexist and hostile and antiquated and patriarchal and downright nauseating.

He says people misquote him and his teachings by suggesting he doesn't believe in female equality. But then he goes on and on about how women have to respect the husband and SUBMIT to him. If a wife disagrees, she should only express that politely and in private. He says nothing of the sort about the need of husbands to do the same for wives. He is concerned about the children not respecting the father if the wife doesn’t submit. He has no concern about the children disrespecting the mother based on the man’s behavior. It is all one way and the antithesis of equal. It's all about how women can ruin marriage and families by not submitting. Men, he suggests, should merely expect to be submitted to. No respect is expected of them, only for them. Women must give it, never expect to receive it.

Such sexist, hateful ideology. He is harmful. He is poison.

He probably also has a small penis.
Posted by Fried Worms on April 24, 2013 at 1:11 PM · Report this
TVDinner 10
That is some varsity-level punctuation there, Constant.
Posted by TVDinner http:// on April 24, 2013 at 1:10 PM · Report this
Comment #5 followed by comment #6: Brilliant.
Posted by MLM on April 24, 2013 at 1:09 PM · Report this
mr. herriman 8
Phngluhqtmafnfq @6: people always say "some" as a way of walking the margins and maintaining deniability. There is nothing in this man's history that would lead Paul (or anyone else who's paid attention) to take that "some" at face value. Also, don't be a dick.
Posted by mr. herriman on April 24, 2013 at 1:07 PM · Report this
Pope Peabrain 7
I come from a house full of women. No comment.
Posted by Pope Peabrain on April 24, 2013 at 1:00 PM · Report this
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn 6
He says some women about five times. If he said "some" every other word, would it make any difference?

Certainly Driscoll is abhorrent and his ultimate point here is no doubt, well, Calvinist in its thinking because Driscoll is a Calvinist and you can expect Calvinism from him because fucking Calvinism is right there on the label dumbass. So yeah. Driscoll = Calvinist. Which part do you not understand?

That said, taking his digs against some wives and pretending he said all wives is just being a dick for the sake of being a dick. You make critics of Mars Hill Church look like haters when you do this kind of infantile shit.

I suppose the answer to my complaint is: Paul Constant = Dick. It's right there on the label. Touche.
Posted by Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn on April 24, 2013 at 12:58 PM · Report this
bleedingheartlibertarian 5
Oh, good. We haven't had one of these in a while. I love it when the Martians come over to tell us how we're taking this douchebag out of context and/or how sad it is that we have to run down other people to feel better about ourselves.
Posted by bleedingheartlibertarian on April 24, 2013 at 12:49 PM · Report this
treacle 4
Being married to Driscoll is probably like being drawn-&-quartered every day.
Posted by treacle on April 24, 2013 at 12:47 PM · Report this
Julie in Eugene 3
Oh, Wives! There is nothing we love more than agreeing to an equitable distribution of household duties, noticing that perhaps some of the things Husbands agreed to do aren't getting done, and then having to feel like we're nags for asking Husbands to uphold their end of the arrangement! We just can't get enough of that!

Also, Husbands! Such schmucks, amirite?
Posted by Julie in Eugene on April 24, 2013 at 12:46 PM · Report this
I didn't think they had faucets back in the pre-indoor-plumbing days. It turns out he got his Bible all wrong: "A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day..."

Now I don't know what to think.
Posted by Big Adventure Steve on April 24, 2013 at 12:44 PM · Report this
very bad homo 1
But imagine being married to HIM? Hell wouldn't even compare.
Posted by very bad homo on April 24, 2013 at 12:41 PM · Report this

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