If you weren't watching today's packed 2 p.m. Seattle City Council meeting (guest starring Australians!), here's what you missed:
• Shitting all over Earth Day, the city council proclaimed today "Washington's Most Wanted and CrimeStoppers of Puget Sound Day" in Seattle. "We've solved over a million felony cases... and helped put away 400 dangerous fugitives" since launching in 1988, explained a former Seattle cop.
• The city council also proclaimed today "Carl Woestwin Day of Waste Reduction," as Woestwin, an avid composter and Seattle Public Utilities employee, retired today. "Local, organic, homegrown food is where it's at," said Woestwin, stripping off his shirt in council chambers to reveal an undershirt with bananas on it. Everyone cheered and then followed Woestwin out of room—including a visiting cohort of Australians—anecdotally proving that Woestwin is more popular than both Earth Day and Washington's Most Wanted and Crimestoppers of Puget Sound Day combined. Poor, homely Earth Day. All Hail CrimeStopper Woestwin Day! Go compost some shit and then call the cops on your neighbors!
• Many people spoke glowingly about Seattle's mentoring program, which is part of Seattle's Youth Violence Prevention Initiative. Council members put a proviso on the program's $2 million 2013-2014 budget expansion until it could be evaluated. "It's an eight-to-one savings for every dollar spent," testified one man, explaining how social programs were infinitely cheaper and better for kids than criminal rehabilitation programs. The council ultimately agreed and unanimously approved two measures to lift provisos that limited spending on teen mentoring and jobs programs. "We'll actually be able to put 200 young people into jobs this summer," said CM Sally Bagshaw.
• Genetically engineered salmon was creeping some testifiers out. The FDA is currently considering altering Atlantic salmon with growth hormones from the Pacific Chinook salmon and eel-like Ocean Pout. "For 20 years we've been fighting for the freedom to choose and to know what we're eating," said one grocery store worker. "We do not believe that the genetically engineered salmon is either wholesome or sustainable." Ugh.
Earth Day Washington's Most Wanted and Crimestoppers of Puget Sound Day is a great day to celebrate our natural bounty," said CM Richard Conlin, as the city council voted unanimously to oppose any action by the Food and Drug Administration approving genetically engineered salmon.
Next up: A special city council meeting on South Lake Union zoning, with Anna Minard reporting, as two city council meetings in a row is too exciting for one person to handle.