As you don't remember, because your mind was blown, the Space Needle blew every gay mind two years in a row—2010 and 2011—when they flew a pride flag. Gays squealed in gay unison: "That corporation loves gay things." But then, last year, there was no pride flag. "GRRRRRRRRR!!!!" growled literally every homosexual in Seattle (except for a large percentage of gays who did not care).

Which brings us to this year. Every gay-rights group in the universe has issued the press release below with their marching orders for the Space Needle Corporation, saying that they want the Space Needle to be nice to their workers and fly a pride flag:

Ten lesbian, gay, bisexual, trangender and queer (LGBTQ) organizations have banded together to urge the Space Needle Corporation to fly the Rainbow flag, annually, during the month of Pride and to settle a fair contract soon that includes living wages, continued benefits, job security and strong anti-discrimination language for sexual orientation and gender identity. The sponsoring organizations are: LGBTQ Allyship, PrideFest, Entre Hermanos, Ingersoll Gender Center, The NW LGBT Senior Care Providers Network, Pride At Work AFL-CIO, Social Outreach Seattle, The Seattle Lesbian, Trans Lives Matter and Gender Justice League representing tens of thousands of LGBTQ and allied individuals.

I got a call from Allyship director Debbie Carlsen, who said she was disappointed after meeting earlier this month with Space Needle CEO Jeffrey Wright. When the groups asked him to fly the pride flag, Wright "said no," Carlsen says. "For our icon to be representative of Seattle's progressive values is a must."

I do not think strapping a flag to a stick is "a must." I think this crusade—impudently demanding that this company do a thing every year forever—is "a must not." But I'm always wrong. To the polls!