Dan Savage is on vacation this week, so please enjoy this Savage Love letter from our archives. Originally published July 5, 2007:

My stepdad is gay. He married my mom anyway, and they appear to have a strong relationship despite his sexual preference—they love each other, had a baby together, and seem to be committed. A few days ago I found a search for "men seeking men" on his computer. I brought up the subject of their relationship with my mom without telling her what I found, and she said that they're currently monogamous. Should I tell my mom, confront my stepdad, or just keep my mouth shut?

Stepdaughter Needs Assistance For Understanding

My response after the jump...

There's this sex advice columnist. He's gay, like your stepdad, but he fell in love with another guy, and they appear to have a strong relationship—they love each other, had a baby together, and seem to be committed. So why does this sex advice columnist occasionally check out "men seeking men" ads on the internet? Because even though he has no plans to fuck other men, SNAFU, he nevertheless enjoys checking other men out—on the street, on airplanes, at book signings, and on personals websites. Why check out "men seeking men" ads when there's porn? Because sometimes it's more fun to check out real people who wanna be fucked than it is to check out fake people who are just pretending they wanna be fucked.

So, SNAFU, finding a search for "men seeking men" on your stepdad's computer tells us nothing about his intentions. And faithful or not, monogamous or not, seeking or not, it's none of your fucking business, is it?