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Thursday, April 11, 2013

Hospital In Missouri Facing the Mother of All Lawsuits

Posted by on Thu, Apr 11, 2013 at 8:09 AM

And—if the reports are true—it ought to face a large demonstration. Because this is outrageous:

A gay man was arrested at a hospital in Missouri this week when he refused to leave the bedside of his partner, and now a restraining order is preventing him from any type of visitation. Roger Gorley told WDAF that even though he has power of attorney to handle his partner’s affairs, a family member asked him to leave when he visited Research Medical Center in Kansas City on Tuesday. Gorley said he refused to leave his partner Allen’s bedside, and that’s when security put him in handcuffs and escorted him from the building.

The staff at the hospital refused to look at (or look into) the power-of-attorney agreements that the men had signed granting each other the right to make medical decisions. Unfortunately the incompetent reporters at WDAF didn't bother to verify an easily verifiable fact: do Gorley and his husband have power-of-attorney agreements? If so, Gorley should be able to produce them. And if Gorley can produce them, the hospital needs to be confronted with them—as does the family of Gorley's husband. Right now someone has a taken out a restraining order against Gorley—the hospital? his husband's family?—and Gorley is being prevented him from even visiting his husband. Which brings us to this:

In a 2010 memorandum, President Barack Obama ordered hospitals that receive Medicare or Medicaid funding to allow visitation rights for gay and lesbian partners.

The hospital says it doesn't discriminate against LGBT people and claims that Gorley was being "disruptive." If Terry's family tried to have me removed from his bedside during a medical crisis—not that they would—you can bet I would be disruptive. They would have to drag me from his room in handcuffs too. And if my family tried to have Terry removed from my side during a medical crisis—not that they would—I wouldn't be the only Savage who wound up being hospitalized that day.

This is what DOMA does, this is what state bans on same-sex marriage does. It's not about flowers and florists. It's about having your partner recognized as your next of kin during a medical emergency. Receptions and banquet halls are nice, and the fair enforcement of non-discrimination laws that protect everybody (not just gay people) is important. But the truly important rights of marriage kick in during emergencies and at what are often the worst moments of our lives.

 

Comments (74) RSS

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ryanayr 1
This looks like it could play-out like the Terri Schiavo case, with horrible Republican assholes disregarding two people's private marital agreements for the sake of their backwards theological and ideological ideas about reality. In the words of George W, bring 'em on. The Terri Schiavo case made Republicans look exactly like what they are: horrible human beings.
Posted by ryanayr on April 11, 2013 at 8:19 AM · Report this
2
Someone forward this to every asshole on tumblr who says gay marriage doesn't matter.
Posted by johnjjeeves on April 11, 2013 at 8:19 AM · Report this
3
"someone"? Can we get a lil taste of journalism from some enterprising someone in Kansas City? Restraining orders aren't issued anonymously. There is a judge, and another party (partner's so-called "relatives" or the hospital itself) who need some feedback here about what domestic relations courts were intended to do, and the penalties for abusing that necessary resource.
Posted by PhoenixRising on April 11, 2013 at 8:24 AM · Report this
puppydogtails 4
@johnjeeves - Exactly.

Doesn't the Obama memorandum have to be complied with? Or it is discretionary? I have a feeling no one wants to cut funding to this institution for one case, even if it is a clear violation. Which would make such a directive pointless in the first place.
Posted by puppydogtails on April 11, 2013 at 8:26 AM · Report this
johnjacobjingleheimerschmidt 5
you're interfering with their relationship with Jesus.
Posted by johnjacobjingleheimerschmidt on April 11, 2013 at 8:28 AM · Report this
MacCrocodile 6
But Dan! Enforcing laws and advocating for fairness alienates backwoods assholes!
Posted by MacCrocodile http://maccrocodile.com/ on April 11, 2013 at 8:35 AM · Report this
7
My husband and I travel with copies of our medical powers of attorney in our cars at all times just to try and prevent this kind of thing from happening. If one of us was in the hospital and "a family member" tried to get the other to leave, you can bet your ass that handcuffs would be involved.
Posted by Clayton on April 11, 2013 at 8:36 AM · Report this
Theodore Gorath 8
I don't know how you could hate a member of your family so much as to send away the love of their life while they are ill or dying.

The selfishness is profound: it destroys the wishes of the ill so that another person's backward thinking can be validated.

Disgusting.
Posted by Theodore Gorath on April 11, 2013 at 8:38 AM · Report this
emma's bee 9
Maybe in the meantime, lgbt folk with batshit fundie relatives should file pre-emptive restraining orders to keep THEM out of the hospital room, should the situation arise.
Posted by emma's bee on April 11, 2013 at 8:41 AM · Report this
seatackled 10
@2 This ain't going to change their minds. They'll still think that it's a choice, and that gay people should just marry opposite-sex partners.

@1 This isn't going to be a Terry Shiavo-type of protest.
Posted by seatackled on April 11, 2013 at 8:42 AM · Report this
Urgutha Forka 11
I wish there was more information.

Why'd the family member ask the husband to leave? Is it because the family member is a homophobe or is it some other reason? What did the husband do that made the hospital feel the only option was police and handcuffs?
Posted by Urgutha Forka on April 11, 2013 at 8:44 AM · Report this
12
@4 puppydogtails

ThinkProgress had this to say:

Nothing in the Missouri law granting power of attorney rights suggests that a family member can trump the power of attorney granted to a non-relative. However, this passage does seem to suggest room for a facility to attempt to justify such discrimination:
No hospital, nursing facility, residential care facility, or other health care facility shall be required to honor a health care decision of an attorney in fact if that decision is contrary to the hospital’s or facility’s institutional policy based on religious beliefs or sincerely held moral convictions unless the hospital or facility received a copy of the durable power of attorney for health care prior to commencing the current series of treatments or current confinement.
In other words, if Gorley did not have the piece of paper granting him power of attorney on hand before treatment of his partner began, the hospital could argue that it refuses to recognize same-sex partners based on religious beliefs or ”moral convictions.” The Research Medical Center does not have a religious affiliation and claims not to discriminate based on sexual orientation, but denying a patient access to the individual entrusted with his medical decisions appears to be a fairly egregious violation.
Posted by WildwoodGuy on April 11, 2013 at 8:48 AM · Report this
MacCrocodile 13
@8 - I had a lesbian aunt who died a few years ago. On her deathbed, her sister claims she apologized for everything she did to the family, which is blatant bullshit, knowing the woman who died (and, frankly, knowing the one who made up the story). This guy's family probably think they're doing all they can to save their son's/brother's/uncle's soul by driving away that horrible corrupting influence. Not that it makes this okay, but there might actually be some kind of twisted reasoning behind this.

@10 - It's not just the haters who say marriage doesn't matter. We get plenty of people among our supporters and co-gays who whine that marriage is a distraction from the important things like employment and housing protections. I actually dated a guy once who was confident that any right that can be acquired by marriage can be acquired by a lengthy series of legal contracts, so why bother with marriage at all? I don't date him any more.
Posted by MacCrocodile http://maccrocodile.com/ on April 11, 2013 at 8:50 AM · Report this
14
@1: Big difference here. In the Schiavo there were private agreements, the husband's word against her parents'. Here, there are public LEGAL documents. In this case there are binding legal documents allowing the partner to be there and make medical decisions, that's what a medical power of attorney does, and the hospital is disregarding the power of attorney and the rule of law. Utterly outrageous.
Posted by Lalala on April 11, 2013 at 8:51 AM · Report this
hamish108 15
"This is what DOMA does, this is what state bans on same-sex marriage does."

That should be "this is what state bans on same-sex marriage do."

But yeah, this has to stop.
Posted by hamish108 on April 11, 2013 at 8:54 AM · Report this
16
@4: It's a memo, not a mandate. It's completely discretionary.
Essentially it's saying, "Gee, guys, this would be cool if you could abide by it, but there's no actual legal enforcement to it, m'kay?"
Posted by Drew2u on April 11, 2013 at 9:01 AM · Report this
17
Be sure and share the love for these assholes on their Yelp page:
http://www.yelp.com/biz/research-medical…

Anyone have more direct contact info for decision makers at the hospital?
Posted by memphisdavid on April 11, 2013 at 9:02 AM · Report this
MacCrocodile 18
@15 - If it weren't for certain parts of DOMA, Missouri would be expected to honor marriages granted in other states, and most of this wouldn't be an issue.
Posted by MacCrocodile http://maccrocodile.com/ on April 11, 2013 at 9:03 AM · Report this
19
Denise Charpentier is VP of Media Relations at the hospital. Give her a call: (816) 276-9293.
Posted by oshma1963 on April 11, 2013 at 9:06 AM · Report this
20
@8 "I don't know how you could hate a member of your family so much as to send away the love of their life while they are ill or dying."

Along the lines of what #10 said, I believe you're applying the wrong frame and this could often be a case of trying to save someone from hell.

Rather more charitably, if you view this under "love the sinner, hate the sin", what they are doing is having the "sin", embodied of course in the person whom their "loved one" loves (and they probably can't help but view this purely in terms of "icky" sex) removed.

It's sick, twisted and evil in effect, but I doubt that it is usually unloving in intent.
Posted by That Said, Fuck Those Assholes on April 11, 2013 at 9:07 AM · Report this
21
@11 is right. It could be the case that they asked him to leave and got a restraining order because they were homophobic (which would be every bit as awful as Dan says), but its also possible that the guy was being disruptive or acting like a lunatic first, and that's why they asked him to leave. More info is definitely needed.
Posted by Fr0zt on April 11, 2013 at 9:07 AM · Report this
MacCrocodile 22
@18 - And before anyone points out that they're not married in any state, I would speculate that if it weren't for DOMA, they might see it as worth the two hour drive to the Iowa border to get a marriage license, given that it would be honored as valid at home and across the country.

Also, I would like to point out that this happened in Kansas City, one of the bluest parts of Missouri. Although there are several Mormon-offshoot churches in the KC metro area, Kansas City itself (along with Saint Louis) is what makes Missouri a swing state, historically.
Posted by MacCrocodile http://maccrocodile.com/ on April 11, 2013 at 9:10 AM · Report this
seatackled 23
@21

Yeah, yeah, sure, he was probably exposing himself and taking meth in front of children, like gay people do, so it had nothing at all to do with homophobia. It's possible, cuz we just don't know the facts, sure.
Posted by seatackled on April 11, 2013 at 9:19 AM · Report this
ScrawnyKayaker 24
@8 It's a long-term outlook: they're worried that their son/brother/whatever will BURN IN HELL FOR ALL ETERNITY, because their God is a loving god.

Not ONE logical inconsistency in that sentence, is there? Nothing to see here; move along. The life you can see is less real than the after-life of our wish-fulfillment.
Posted by ScrawnyKayaker on April 11, 2013 at 9:21 AM · Report this
25
Here's the hospital's email address, just in case anyone would like to contact them for more information: RHMC.CAREs@hcahealthcare.com
Posted by Clayton on April 11, 2013 at 9:21 AM · Report this
goatfarm 26
Contact info (from Reddit):
Email: RHMC.CAREs@hcahealthcare.com
Administration: (816) 276-4101
PR: (816) 276-9475
Edit: Added for visibility Ethics Compliance Officer: (816) 276-3306
Posted by goatfarm on April 11, 2013 at 9:21 AM · Report this
27
@11 Irrelevant. @21 Bullshit.
The man removed IS family. Possibly the most important family in the other man's life (or do you write up powers of attorney for all your acquaintances?).
Posted by usagi on April 11, 2013 at 9:28 AM · Report this
ScrawnyKayaker 28
@20 Rather like mutilating a young girl's genitals is "loving in intent" for fundamentalist Muslims.

Not gonna be "charitabl[e]" to ANYONE'S religious delusions.
Posted by ScrawnyKayaker on April 11, 2013 at 9:30 AM · Report this
Urgutha Forka 29
@23, 27,

How could more information be irrelevant???

I despise religion, and despise bigots who use it to justify their bigotry; however, everyone is saying this is due to religious objections, yet I read nothing in the article to suggest that's the case here. Indeed, the hospital in question appears to lean to the secular and progressive side rather than the religious.

I refuse to jump to conclusions based on the scant information given. I'd rather err on the side of "let's see the details of what happened here" instead of looking like a reactive fool if the facts come up and show everyone here is wrong.

All we know is that another family member wanted the husband out, and the husband was taken out by police against his will. We don't know shit about anyone's religious beliefs or homophobic behavior or the husband's behavior. Fuck, it could be some totally unrelated feud that the husband and the other family member have had going on forever and it got out of hand in this case.

If this were a hetero couple and the same thing happened, people would want to know the details.
Posted by Urgutha Forka on April 11, 2013 at 9:49 AM · Report this
30
4

Hospitals have the same responsibility to conform to the memo that Obama does to enforce DOMA.
in other words,
in Gommorah,
we only obey the laws we like.......
Posted by gfy87t874et87rfd63eefcy57u on April 11, 2013 at 9:49 AM · Report this
MacCrocodile 31
Comforting thought: The article on the Kansas City Fox affiliate's website is overwhelmed with comments in support of the man's right to visit his partner. The article even refers to him as the patient's husband. Fox, in Missouri, using progressive language and attracting very few homophobic commenters. This is progress.
Posted by MacCrocodile http://maccrocodile.com/ on April 11, 2013 at 9:51 AM · Report this
32
This post brought me to tears. OMFG.

If he has power of attorney, this needs to be on all the news networks long enough that it seeps through to the supreme court justices before they rule on prop 8 & DOMA.
Posted by delta35 on April 11, 2013 at 9:53 AM · Report this
33
Does anyone know how the patient is doing? Nothing I read says anything about his condition. Is it terminal, or will he recover. If it is terminal, his partner needs to be there IMMEDIATELY, and he needs to do everything possible to make that happen. If the patient will recover, his family will have hell to pay when he finds out what they did to him and his partner.

Either way, the ACLU needs to be contacted now.
Posted by SeattleKim on April 11, 2013 at 9:56 AM · Report this
34
I hate it when a story like this happens and then with the passing news days, we forget to follow-up on it. Dan, please keep us posted on what happens in this story. This one is terribly important.
Posted by Bonzer Terriffic on April 11, 2013 at 9:57 AM · Report this
35
@10 - actually, I was referring to the kind of 'allies' that sometimes make me prefer my enemies. The kinds of people who think that marriage equality is only for wealthy white cis male gays, not for anyone else. Those callow tumblr kids that "read" (or you know, had paraphrased to them) two articles on the subject and declared, if I remember correctly, that Rick Ross rapping about roofie-ing a woman in a song was more important than DOMA being in front of the Supreme Court. The self-righteous purity-testing little shits who couldn't expand their narcissistic worldview to the point where they might actually need to care about someone other than themselves in a legal setting. The people who live their lives in full-on Nirvana Fallacy Land, where incremental steps forward are useless wastes of time if they don't address every race, class, and trans* issue simultaneously - which, funnily enough, marriage equality actually does address all of those issues, but nevermind.
Posted by johnjjeeves on April 11, 2013 at 10:00 AM · Report this
MacCrocodile 36
@29 - And it's worth noting that the only side we've really heard here is the husband's story. The hospital has given a very vague statement basically just stating their policy. Not saying he's making things up, but it's entirely possible he's exaggerating the situation (it's also possible, for what it's worth, that he has completely made up the story to hurt a member of his husband's family). The point is, we just don't know.

Dan's clause at the top--"if the reports are true"--is important to remember here. The only information we have is the story of a man whose husband is in the hospital, hardly the most reliable testimony.
Posted by MacCrocodile http://maccrocodile.com/ on April 11, 2013 at 10:08 AM · Report this
seatackled 37
@35

Oh, I see. Yeah, this bunch can be idiots of a different order. Thanks.
Posted by seatackled on April 11, 2013 at 10:13 AM · Report this
lolorhone 38
My late cousin died in a hospital with his partner (of 6 years) by his side. While he was convalescing, a highly religious (and highly bigoted) nurse threatened to have his boyfriend removed permanently for some completely bullshit reason. My late cousin responded: "I might have only one T-cell left, but if you try take him from me now I will leap out of this bed and ruin you, bitch." His partner: "I second that emotion." The nurse went to call security, muttering something about "heathens", but the head nurse on the floor cut her off and said "This is not about you or what you believe. Leave these people alone." They spent the next five days in peace until he died.

Just thought I'd share a hospital story that didn't make you homicidal.
Posted by lolorhone on April 11, 2013 at 10:16 AM · Report this
39
@29 you wrote: "All we know is that another family member wanted the husband out, and the husband was taken out by police against his will. We don't know shit about anyone's religious beliefs or homophobic behavior or the husband's behavior. Fuck, it could be some totally unrelated feud that the husband and the other family member have had going on forever and it got out of hand in this case."

Speaking as a gay man, if there had been a dispute between my husband and my birth family about religious beliefs or homophobic attitudes, I would want my husband at my bedside--not my birth family. The same would go for a "totally unrelated family feud." Presumably my husband and I would be on the same side of such a feud. Presumably, if I wanted anyone ejected from my hospital room, it would be the people on the other side of the feud. So your hypothetical arguments are nonstarters as far as I'm concerned. If anything, they demonstrate the need for same sex relationships to get legal recognition.
Posted by Clayton on April 11, 2013 at 10:27 AM · Report this
40
Goatfarm 26
Thanks for providing the contacts. I was able to speak to someone answering the Administration number and she politely read me a brief press release stating that they do not discriminate against gays and that the matter has been settled. Whatever that means, there was no other info than that. The other 2 numbers for PR and Ethics Compliance go to voicemail. The woman in Administration did offer to take my number so someone could call me back later with information. She could not say if that information would be in addition to what the press release states.

It can't hurt to call these numbers and voice concern as to whether they are or not discriminating against LGBT patients and their partners.
Posted by kwodell on April 11, 2013 at 10:28 AM · Report this
Alanmt 41
If you go to Roger Gorley's facebook page, you can ferret out more details. At least three of his inlaws support him, bailed him out of jail and stayed with him. Two didn't. He says a homophobic family member sought to eject him, indicating homophobic animus was the reason for that act. His husband was medicated and out of it. It does not appear his husband's condition is terminal.

Posted by Alanmt on April 11, 2013 at 10:34 AM · Report this
Posted by pox on April 11, 2013 at 10:38 AM · Report this
Urgutha Forka 43
@39,
Don't get me wrong, I'm on your side here. The wishes of both the man in the hospital and his husband should absolutely trump whatever the other family wants. They're married, they should be treated as any other married couple, he should certainly be allowed at his husband's bedside.

All I'm saying is that the story has so little information so far it's hard to figure out what happened and why it happened.
Posted by Urgutha Forka on April 11, 2013 at 10:40 AM · Report this
44
These are my brother-in-laws. The same day that Allen went into the hospital they were scheduled to leave on a vacation. Roger did nothing wrong other than simply refusing to leave Allen's bedside. Lee, Allen's younger brother, who has never liked Roger, got into an arguing match with Roger and got very hateful and nasty, saying that Roger was taking Allen on some "gay vacation so he can get butt f****d by 50 guys". Apparently, Lee thinks that's what it is to be gay/homosexual. He has no concept or understanding that they have shared a loving relationship for the last 5 years. Lee told the police and nurse that Roger was mistreating Allen. Roger told the nurse that he was Allen's partner and had every right to be there and they shared power of attorney. He did raise his voice at the nurse saying he had the right to be there and she needed to make Lee leave because he was upsetting Allen. So the nurse apparently didn't appreciate being yelled at by Roger and immediately called security. So I guess that's what you call being disruptive?
Posted by maria71 on April 11, 2013 at 10:40 AM · Report this
seatackled 45
@38 That's sad but also very sweet. I'm glad that hospital supported them.
Posted by seatackled on April 11, 2013 at 10:44 AM · Report this
46
@28 'Not gonna be "charitabl[e]" to ANYONE'S religious delusions.'

I was offering a rather charitable reading of their motives, not suggesting that that the practice of such bigotry should be tolerated.

I guess I just think of understanding as a tool to defeat them.
Posted by That Said, Fuck Those Assholes on April 11, 2013 at 10:47 AM · Report this
47
@29 Because this instant "we don't have all the information" reaction when something likes this breaks is bullshit. It's victim blaming. There is no possible excuse for the hospital to have allowed this to escalate the way they did. It is implicit in their statement that there were two parties involved, "family" and "non-family". The hospital decided in an utterly arbitrary way who the patient's family was. Can we say with 100% certainty that it was against the patient's wishes based on the known information? No, but it's the way to bet.
You think the onus is on the victim to prove the hospital did something wrong. I think the burden is on the hospital to prove they acted correctly.
Posted by usagi on April 11, 2013 at 10:51 AM · Report this
48
@44 Yes, I can remember so many occasions when a hospital has forcibly removed a husband from his unconscious wife's side because he raised his voice over something. Happens all the time.
Posted by usagi on April 11, 2013 at 11:00 AM · Report this
49
@44 thanks Maria.
Posted by Machiavelli was framed on April 11, 2013 at 11:00 AM · Report this
50
If this had been either type of hetero couple, we'd be hearing about the faithful woman standin' by her man despite boorish relatives or the loyal knight by the damsel's bedside even though he's Montague and she's Capulet. Or we wouldn't be hearing about it at all because no one would have made any fuss.

This is why society should not settle for civil unions or "you can just get power of attorney." We need a big, loaded, culturally magical word like "married" or "husband" to vanquish the trolls with the handcuffs.
Posted by DRF on April 11, 2013 at 11:15 AM · Report this
OutInBumF 51
This is the 1 in 10,000 story that justifies ALL of our demands for equal treatment under the law. Suck it Seattleblues and your kind.
Thanks @44 for the explanation. Homophobic relatives and hospital staff win the day. Sue this hospital into oblivion, and I'm not a believer in lawsuits. As for the 'wait and see' attitude above: as Dan states- if someone tries to keep me from my ill husband or my ill children's bedside ANYWHERE, it will look a lot worse than 'disruption'. Grrrr.
Posted by OutInBumF on April 11, 2013 at 11:28 AM · Report this
52
@44,

Thanks much for the context. It sounds from that like the hospital reacted poorly to a guy who became disruptive (understandably disruptive, as he was provoked by a bigoted family member and wrongfully accused of mistreating his husband), but it still doesn't necessarily sound like the hospital itself was bigoted, so much as it overreacted to a situation it misunderstood.

From the hospital's (mistaken) perspective, it's actions made sense regardless of sex. Hospital hears shouting in a patients room and finds the patient's partner shouting. Family member of patient lies and says that the partner has been mistreating patient, and partner shouts at nurse. From what 44 says, partner was completely justified, but with the hospital's incomplete information, it made sense to eject the partner, regardless whether he'd been samesex or opposite.
Posted by Fr0zt on April 11, 2013 at 11:49 AM · Report this
bleedingheartlibertarian 53
@44--Thanks for the info. I hope your brother in law gets better.

SB sure is quiet today...
Posted by bleedingheartlibertarian on April 11, 2013 at 11:55 AM · Report this
54
The worst part is when Roger tried to explain to the nurse that he had the legal right to be there and that he and Allen had joint power of attorney she wouldn't even hear it. He tried to explain that they make medical decisions for each other and it wasn't up to Allen's brother Lee or his sister Pat. In fact Lee hadn't seen Allen since X-mas! He never calls or goes to see Allen or Roger. Pat only visits when she needs something! The policy took Roger to the ground. Bear in mind he's early 50's with grandchildren, his glasses got knocked to the floor, both his hearing aids got knocked out of his ears. Was it really necessary for 2 young police officers to be that aggressive? And they did this in front of Allen who was already traumatized!
Posted by maria71 on April 11, 2013 at 12:33 PM · Report this
55
That absolutely does seem excessive. An argument can be made for removing ones legal partner (gay or straight) if you believe they're being a disturbance, but for the police to take a 50 year old man to the ground seems unnecessary under almost any circumstances. This sounds more like a police brutality claim than a discrimination claim against the hospital. (Sorry, I'm in lawyer mode and its hard to turn off.)

Regardless, I wish the best to both of your bros-in-law.
Posted by Fr0zt on April 11, 2013 at 1:07 PM · Report this
Ophian 56
@52, "...but with the hospital's incomplete information, it made sense to eject the partner..."

No. See @54.
Posted by Ophian on April 11, 2013 at 1:14 PM · Report this
57
http://www.change.org/petitions/research…, found on FB page
Posted by s680882 on April 11, 2013 at 1:51 PM · Report this
58
Allen's brother who asked that Roger be removed
Lee Mansell lmansell71@gmail.com
Posted by arn72 on April 11, 2013 at 2:06 PM · Report this
Posted by s680882 on April 11, 2013 at 2:15 PM · Report this
60
@59 Thanks.
Posted by Clayton on April 11, 2013 at 2:20 PM · Report this
Helenka (also a Canuck) 61
@Maria71 (#44/54)
Thanks for the personal update on the situation. I'm glad to know that Roger has compassionate people like you on his side.
Posted by Helenka (also a Canuck) on April 11, 2013 at 2:25 PM · Report this
62
My brother-in-law Roger Gorley's daughter's comments about the incident! Please read!
http://www.weareatheism.com/arrested-at-…
Posted by maria71 on April 11, 2013 at 2:26 PM · Report this
63
This hospital needs to train their staff better to handle these disputes. I'm not saying they were inherently homophobic, but they clearly mishandled the situation. Why not just take a few minutes to verify Rogers POA and save the hospital the PR nightmare?
Posted by bitwise on April 11, 2013 at 2:30 PM · Report this
64
For those of you who don't know, Allen was forcibly removed from his home when Lee showed up with the police and paramedics. He had no right to do this and no knowledge of Allen's medical condition. He never liked Roger and was furious that Roger was taking Allen on vacation. Please read:
http://www.weareatheism.com/arrested-at-…
Posted by maria71 on April 11, 2013 at 2:38 PM · Report this
Posted by RTam on April 11, 2013 at 2:48 PM · Report this
RTam 66
@64 Oops, you beat me to it, Maria :)
Posted by RTam on April 11, 2013 at 2:52 PM · Report this
67
Gosh, more information. Gosh, it was EXACTLY what it looked like from the start. @11, @21, @52 -- any time you're care to apologize to the victim for doubting his word...
Posted by usagi on April 11, 2013 at 4:55 PM · Report this
Urgutha Forka 68
@67,
Apologize?? For what?? For not jumping to premature conclusions like you? Fuck off. I never said the victim was lying. I never said I doubted his word. I asked for more information. I'll never apologize for wanting to get the facts before I pass judgment.

Do you believe everything you hear the first time you hear it no matter how incomplete the source is?

Don't be such a credulous ass.
Posted by Urgutha Forka on April 11, 2013 at 7:20 PM · Report this
69
Roger and Allen are in a domestic partnership - what opponents of marriage equality believe to be a generous compromise on the same-sex marriage debate. Roger also has a power of attorney, and was known to the hospital staff. Had they been an opposite sex couple, they could be married in Missouri, and I guarantee that no hospital there would send a wife from her husband's bedside because his brother became belligerent. This was discriminatory, on no grounds other than that the couple concerned were not "really" married, because both are men. The hospital should lose its Medicaid/Medicare funding, or face other applicable penalties under Federal law.
Posted by Toni Daring on April 11, 2013 at 7:28 PM · Report this
70
Ms Maria - Many thanks for the further particulars.
Posted by vennominon on April 12, 2013 at 4:02 AM · Report this
Ophian 71
maria @64, thank you for that link. After reading the posting, I don't know whether to be terribly sad, or terribly angry. This shit just should not happen.

I wish Allen and Roger and you and your family [the good ones] the best. I hope this resolves in a way that keeps this from happening to others in similar situations.
Posted by Ophian on April 12, 2013 at 9:45 AM · Report this
72
Oh God, this gives me a knot in my stomach. I was born at that hospital.
Posted by lulubelle on April 12, 2013 at 10:38 AM · Report this
73
@29 you want to know what really happened? Then read the interview with his daughter who was present. It was a disgustingly homophobic, bigoted, HATEFUL reaction by the police. Even though the ill husband insisted he be allowed to stay he was removed. Forcefully. By police who were terrified he had AIDS just cause he was gay. Shortly after they removed him, the hospital kicked the brother out as he was still yelling and causing a scene. He was the one yelling in the first place. This is a horrible thing that needs to be protested, and used as prime example that DOMA is harmful, and that marriage rights are needed for ALL! If you want to know what really happened, FIND OUT!
Posted by Kent0518 on April 12, 2013 at 12:14 PM · Report this
74
If the facts and proof was given...then how did this get out of control? Everybody should have equal rights period. Everybody should be able have whom they want at their bedsides, in their beds, at the alter, in their home period. When will people understand this. Jesus has nothing to do with this. It is a basic human rite.
Posted by peggypiscopo on April 12, 2013 at 3:52 PM · Report this

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