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Thursday, April 4, 2013

Tom Cruise = Deal Breaker

Posted by on Thu, Apr 4, 2013 at 4:44 PM

These days I find everything about Tom Cruise to be so incredibly annoying that I cannot value a film in which he appears. Even though Tom is popular with older folks (like Goldy), I suspect I am not alone in this sentiment. Maybe it's the whole Scientology thing, or maybe it's just that the man simply seethes with insecurity. I really love post-apocalyptic movies, but because Tom Cruise is in it, I can't get excited about Oblivion. Naturally, this bit of musing facilitates the need for a scientifically and legally binding Slog Poll™.


Comments (37) RSS

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Jack Reacher and Rock of Ages were both good movies (that nobody saw).
Posted by Supreme Ruler Of The Universe http://_ on April 4, 2013 at 4:48 PM · Report this
That's definitely how I feel - I love love LOVE apocalyptic movies, even bad ones, and yet I cannot, will not, see Oblivion, except maybe on TNT some Saturday afternoon when I'm not feeling well.

Tom Cruise, I just can't with you.
Posted by MLM on April 4, 2013 at 4:54 PM · Report this
Dougsf 3
It's not even the Scientology thing, he's just so overwhelmingly Tom Cruisey, and only a passable actor. When you see him in a film, you think "oh look, there's Tom Cruise being that guy" and "oh look at all this stuff happening to Tom Cruise." Never do you forget who the actor is in favor of the character. He's a living 555 number.

There's a dozen or so celebrity brands that both suffer from and exist because of this exact deal.
Posted by Dougsf on April 4, 2013 at 4:58 PM · Report this
Hey! Not all old people like him. I went to go see The Hobbit with my father, and when the Oblivion trailer came on he turned to me and said "that looks like it would've been really cool if they had gotten someone else for the lead."

And I think it's because he's such a crappy actor that you can only see him as Tom Cruise. He never actually becomes any of his characters, and he's not an appealing person at all, Scientology or no Scientology.
Posted by redemma on April 4, 2013 at 5:01 PM · Report this
Zebes 5
He's a super bland generic intense kinda handsome leading man guy. Theoretically he should be easy to replace in any role. I wish filmmakers would exercise the option more often.
Posted by Zebes on April 4, 2013 at 5:04 PM · Report this
Will in Seattle 6
Sometimes he's good, sometimes he's awful.

I can never tell which he'll be, so his being in a film is no predictor for how good it will be.
Posted by Will in Seattle on April 4, 2013 at 5:12 PM · Report this
merry 7
I like how you put it, Grant : the man simply seethes insecurity. Yes, yes he does. He makes my damn skin crawl. I've avoided seeing many, many of his movies just because he's so damned creepy.

Having said that, I did enjoy "Risky Business", "Vanilla Sky" (I know, I know), and "Minority Report". But I have exactly ZERO interest in this newest effort of his.
Posted by merry on April 4, 2013 at 5:14 PM · Report this
I agree, his Scientology crap and the fact that he's always Tom Cruise, no matter what the role. His personal life is one gorgeous actress after another. I wouldn't want to live with him.
Posted by RWC43 on April 4, 2013 at 5:19 PM · Report this
blip 9
He's a shitty actor. I remember seeing the Jerry Maguire preview years ago and feeling embarrassed on his behalf for the "SHOW ME THE MONEY!!!!" scene. At the time I thought for sure it was going to completely destroy his career. Shows what the fuck I know.
Posted by blip on April 4, 2013 at 5:21 PM · Report this
theophrastus 10
Casting is the bane of modern film. Anything with Cruise, Sandler, Keanu, Franco, Costner, ... will be lesser for it; and not just in terms of net profit.

Please-oh-please film-makers, go to an acting school or some-such venue and buy some "farm fresh".
Posted by theophrastus on April 4, 2013 at 5:25 PM · Report this
Simone 11
I wish tom cruise had died instead of Ebert. There I said it.

I can still watch some new films that he is in but I don't get excited because of him. And that is kind of what I think the movie people do is say "Look here's Tom Cruise in a new movie." I just don't care anymore.
Posted by Simone on April 4, 2013 at 5:42 PM · Report this
bleedingheartlibertarian 12
I liked him in Collateral, Tropic Thunder, and Magnolia. The rest...meh.
Posted by bleedingheartlibertarian on April 4, 2013 at 5:46 PM · Report this
pfffter 13
I feel the same way about Nicolas Cage.
Posted by pfffter on April 4, 2013 at 5:51 PM · Report this
McJulie 14
I might see Oblivion, but this song will be going through my head the whole time.…
Posted by McJulie on April 4, 2013 at 5:52 PM · Report this
dangerousgift 15
I mean, I'd probably go do anything with Goldy though. He's like, blog famous.
Posted by dangerousgift on April 4, 2013 at 5:52 PM · Report this
gunmmoontree 16
Gaa! I laughed out loud when I saw "The Last Samurai" as a choice on your poll, just like I laughed out loud in the theater when I saw that movie & TOMFUCKINGCRUISE as THE LAST SAMURAI! HA!! Too funny..
Posted by gunmmoontree on April 4, 2013 at 6:03 PM · Report this
Tom Cruise is kinda gross and Scientology brainwashed, but this movie looks rad.
Posted by Chester Copperpot on April 4, 2013 at 6:15 PM · Report this
sperifera 18
I prefer to remember him as that cute kid in his underwear dancing across the hardwoods and have steadfastly refused to see him in any movie since. Have things gone downhill for him?
Posted by sperifera on April 4, 2013 at 6:22 PM · Report this
raindrop 19
And it's all so formulistic. I like what @3 said:

Never do you forget who the actor is in favor of the character.
Posted by raindrop on April 4, 2013 at 6:24 PM · Report this
mikethehammer 20
I'm surprised that my votes in officially binding Slog polls are usually (~70% of the time, I'd say) in step with the majority. But for this one, in which I said Tom Cruise is great, I knew where I stood. He'll always be Pete Mitchell -- better known of course by his call sign, "Maverick" -- to me.
Posted by mikethehammer on April 4, 2013 at 6:26 PM · Report this
Reverse Polarity 21
I guess maybe because I've grown older with a longstanding kinda-crush on Tom Cruise since his early days in the 1980s, that I'm looking forward to this movie. I find it pretty easy to set aside his scientology because it never seems to intrude into his roles in any noticeable way, and he never proselytizes in public about it. He's sometimes a bit of an idiot (like his weird thing on Oprah, etc), but I've always liked him well enough as an actor, and he seems to generally stick to rolls that suit his limited acting talents.

So I guess it's just me and Goldy then.

Despite the Slog Poll, I bet this makes $100m on its opening weekend.
Posted by Reverse Polarity on April 4, 2013 at 7:46 PM · Report this
this guy I know in Spokane 22
He's actually acted a couple of times, I think. He was good in Collateral and... um... Hmm. Interview With The Vampire? Well, I'm sure there was something.
Posted by this guy I know in Spokane on April 4, 2013 at 7:57 PM · Report this
fletc3her 23
I actually like Tom Cruise. Sigh.

Part of it was probably seeing the movies in the theater. Definitely had a crush on him in Top Gun. Risky Business of course. And then the next half dozen I had to watch just to see if his tighty whities would make another appearance. Cocktail. Days of Thunder. Color of Money.
Posted by fletc3her on April 4, 2013 at 8:24 PM · Report this
fletc3her 24
@16 Not to be a super nerd, but did you see The Last Samurai? Tom Cruise wasn't the last samurai at all. He was some kind of U.S. infantryman. I don't remember exactly, but he wasn't supposed to be Japanese or anything.
Posted by fletc3her on April 4, 2013 at 8:27 PM · Report this
Dr. Z 25
I miss the Tom Cruise from Risky Business, the Nicholas Cage from Valley Girls, and Arnold Schwarzenegger from The Terminator.

Yes, I'm an old fart.
Posted by Dr. Z on April 4, 2013 at 8:32 PM · Report this
This old person thinks he's just awful, in every possible way.
Posted by sarah70 on April 4, 2013 at 8:37 PM · Report this
Tom Cruise is an excellent actor. I submit Born On the Fourth of July as my evidence. However, it looks really silly and funny when old men seriously think they can convince others that they are still young and handsome.
Posted by floater on April 4, 2013 at 9:47 PM · Report this

You try playing non-offensive and not forgettable in every movie you're in. He's never made a movie worse than it already was, and if you get people talking about Tom Cruise, eventually you can recreate his entire filmography by collecting all the "I liked him in X" posts.

Dustin Hoffman is recognizable as himself in every movie he plays, but you don't call him a bad actor.
Posted by six shooter on April 4, 2013 at 9:49 PM · Report this
JonnoN 29
Tropic Thunder FTW
Posted by JonnoN on April 4, 2013 at 10:48 PM · Report this
I find present-day Tom Cruise creepy, but I disagree with those calling him a bad actor. I think he's a totally capable actor whose skill has been eclipsed by his weird Scientology persona and various public breakdowns. Watch Magnolia though -- dude can act. Not much interest in seeing him in anything current, however. Plus this looks bad anyway.

And yes, Nicholas Cage is awful too, except in Adaptation, which is awesome.
Posted by Amanda on April 5, 2013 at 1:01 AM · Report this
Tacoma Traveler 31
Some of his movies have been very good, such as Born on the Fourth of July. Others, like Top Gun, are amazingly bad.

He's cute. In real life, he's unbearable. His work is hit-or-miss. I don't go to movies specifically because he's in them, and I don't avoid them for that reason either.

I'm agnostic on TC.
Posted by Tacoma Traveler on April 5, 2013 at 4:26 AM · Report this
When you see, "Tom Cruise" on the marquee, you know exactly what you're getting.

Tom Cruise plays the one and only character he knows how to, "Tom Cruise." He plays that character each and every day.
Posted by a russell on April 5, 2013 at 5:55 AM · Report this
None of you guys have mentioned Eyes Wide Shut Yet. Tom Cruise is horrible and I have a hard time stomaching him in anything these days, but he is just creepily great in that movie, and what's more, I get the feeling he doesn't realize he's being creepily great. It's like Tom Cruise cast as himself when he thinks he's playing someone else. Pretty brilliant. It's a fascinating and underrated movie, and worth watching if you haven't, or worth re-watching if it didn't connect with you the first time.
Posted by Actionsquid on April 5, 2013 at 8:36 AM · Report this
McGee 34
@10 Jesus Christ! Modern film? Aside from Franco (who is great) you list of "big names" looks like you haven't seen a movie since 1998.
Posted by McGee on April 5, 2013 at 1:54 PM · Report this
My favorite movie with him in it is "Magnolia" (which I liked quite a lot, but I get why people didn't).

He's playing such an asshole in that movie...and hey it's completely believable. But he went for it, and the performance is good. It's not even a big part, but he's good in it.

That said, I despise pretty much everything else about him. He's massively creepy and I really hope that the gay rumors aren't true. I don't want him on my team.
Posted by Mike Friedman on April 5, 2013 at 6:11 PM · Report this
KingofQueenAnne 36
I don't understand how he keeps getting leading roles and big bucks from blockbusters that inevitably flop because no one wants to sit and stare at him for two hours. It'd be like watching a coworker poop on all our desks and then getting a raise for it. Bewildering.
Posted by KingofQueenAnne on April 5, 2013 at 11:12 PM · Report this
Tom cruise is an excellent actor looks more handsome than half the yiunger actors... He was great in all his movies adorable in risky business and equally amazing in oblivion rick of ages jerry mcguire he gives 100 percent of himself ..the only actor of his generation one of the only that didn't wind up in rehab..
Posted by mmmey on May 7, 2013 at 3:51 AM · Report this

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