South Korea vows strong and immediate military response. Yes, I got my cardinal directions right in this latest war of (sofarthankgodonly) words between North Korea and South Korea.

Deterrence. Prosecutors will seek the death penalty against James Holmes, the man accused of killing 12 people and injuring 58 in a mass shooting at a Colorado movie theater last July.

If only more people in bar fights were armed, tragedies like this would never happen. Three men were shot dead and a forth seriously wounded during a fight outside an Auburn sports bar early Sunday morning. Guns, no doubt, had nothing to do with this tragedy.

But nobody's calling it "domestic terrorism," because the suspects are neither Islamists or environmentalists. Houston's chief prosecutor is under 24-hour protection in the wake of the shooting death of the Kaufman County prosecutor and his wife over the weekend. An assistant Kaufman County prosecutor was murdered in January. A white supremacist gang is widely suspected. If only more Texans were armed, etc.

March Madness! (The kind that doesn't have anything to do with guns.)

April Madness! (The kind that has something to do with bats.)

Why does Seattle hate America? There will be no July 4th fireworks on Lake Union this year, after the show's producers failed to raise $500,000 by their Sunday deadline.

ADHD diagnosed in 11 percent of, wait, what where we talking about? Nearly one in five high school age boys and 11 percent of all school age children in the US have been diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, according to a new study from the Centers for Disease Control and Something or Other.

Because the real giant jellyfish were demanding higher pay and more benefits. The US Navy is developing a giant jellyfish robot.

It's April Fools Day. And I got nothin'. (Well, nothing that the curmudgeonly Paul Constant would approve of.)