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Saturday, March 16, 2013

Politics Rand Paul Is King of the Assholes

Posted by Paul Constant on Sat, Mar 16, 2013 at 7:46 PM

CPAC has been a long, arduous parade of Big Gulps and insanely racist shit this year, and now it is over and Ron Paul's creepy clone has won the whole thing:

Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) won the Conservative Political Action Conference straw poll on Saturday, marking an early indicator of conservative support ahead of the next presidential election in 2016.

Paul topped the list and Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.) came in second, according to Ian Bishop.

Former Sen. Rick Santorum (R-Pa.) came in third place this year, with New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie — who was notably not invited to this year's conference — coming in fourth.

(Note that Jeb Bush asked not to be included in the poll, presumably because he knew ol' Randy would kick his ass.) Mitch McConnell may have made a joke about the Democrats in 2016 being a "rerun of the Golden Girls," but that straw poll lineup is straight out of Hee Haw.

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So they're continuing to tear themselves apart and ratchet up the crazy.

Good.

Posted by GermanSausage on March 16, 2013 at 8:06 PM

Who cares.

A bunch of uber conservatives voting for their favorite conservative isn't a sign of the next contender.

This country votes in moderate presidents. That's why Rand Paul will never win (unless he drastically changes his position on many things). Neither will Santorum.

Posted by Urgutha Forka on March 16, 2013 at 8:20 PM

On the bright side, their attempts to do outreach to Hispanics and women were HILARIOUS.

Posted by Pope Buck I on March 16, 2013 at 8:28 PM

My experimentation with homosexuality lasted only a year, but in that time amongst our boy clique, I was known as King of the Assholes.

Posted by dnt trust me on March 16, 2013 at 8:29 PM

As long as they're convinced they're right, and they are, they're not going to change. I would be perfectly happy if Rand Paul beats out Rubio or some other more moderate candidate in 2016.

Posted by Gern Blanston on March 16, 2013 at 8:41 PM

@4
If it will make you feel any better, we'll be happy to call you that.

Posted by seatackled on March 16, 2013 at 9:07 PM

I don't get McConnell making fun of the Democratic offerings as The Golden Girls when all his party has to offer won't even amount to Two Broke Girls.

Posted by seatackled on March 16, 2013 at 9:12 PM

The thing to do is to remind viewers of the crazy shit that went down at CPAC when Paul comes up for election/re-election. Run clips of his Rachel Maddow interview where he said he was against desegregation alongside clips of Scott Terry claiming that slaves should have been grateful to their enslavers, and broadcast it far and wide. Turn a CPAC endorsement into an albatross worn round the neck.

Posted by Tacoma Traveler on March 16, 2013 at 9:23 PM

@8 He's from Kentucky where such things will be overlooked. And I think barring severe deviations from the status quo, he's just not a national player and never has been. CPAC is for the worst of those losers.

Posted by dirac on March 17, 2013 at 12:15 AM

Rand Paul? That's the best they've got? Seriously?

Great..... the Republican party has devolved yet again.

From the broken clock that is right twice a day to the broken clock that is right once a day.

A difficult trick so I'll give CPAC that. they have made themselves less relevant.

Posted by Machiavelli was framed on March 17, 2013 at 12:34 AM

Mitt Romney won four of six CPAC straw polls before the 2012 elections. I wish Rand Paul all of Mitts success.

Posted by Clayton on March 17, 2013 at 5:59 AM

Paul Puke is king of the pukes.

Posted by Paul's idea of fun is binging and barfing at buffet. on March 17, 2013 at 7:35 AM

There's nothing worse than a stoner who found Ayn Rand. Why couldn't he have stuck with the Aqua Buddha and just opened a nice surf shop or something?

Posted by Catalina Vel-DuRay

on March 17, 2013 at 7:36 AM

This is basically the Republican equivalent of the Sports Illustrated curse.

Posted by bleedingheartlibertarian on March 17, 2013 at 9:58 AM

The retooling of the Republican party is taking place. A few of the retoolers speaking at CPAC: Newt Gingrich, Sarah Palin, Scott Walker, Ted Cruz, Bobby Jindal, Wayne Lapierre, Mitch McConnell, Mitt Fuckin Romney, Rick Santorum, Paul Ryan, Donald Trump and Allen West.

There's rumor afoot that the redesigned machine looks a lot like a 1903 Cadillac.

Posted by zombie eyes on March 17, 2013 at 11:36 AM

it would be so rad if this guy becomes the 2016 golden boy. oh the entertainment! unfortunately theres no way it will happen. It will be 2 moderate centrists again.

Posted by carsten coolage on March 17, 2013 at 11:36 AM

One person's "crazy" is another person's sanity.

After GOV Christie got done sucking dick after Supah-storm Sandy, I was done with him.

Bi-partisanship gets you nothing with the Dumbocrats...

Posted by GeneStoner on March 17, 2013 at 1:26 PM

Queen of the Assholes, dood, that's Queen.

Sarah Palin is King of the Assholes.

Please, Constant, get your gender identifications correct.

Posted by sgt_doom on March 17, 2013 at 2:11 PM

Yeah, gee what an asshole. Now on a totally unrelated note.....

http://seattletimes.com/html/localnews/2…

Posted by Spindles on March 17, 2013 at 3:27 PM

17, 18, 19 - Three seperate types of insanity, lined up in a row.

Posted by Pridge Wessea on March 17, 2013 at 4:05 PM

@20: Nice combo-breaker.

Posted by venomlash on March 17, 2013 at 5:22 PM

There have bee rumors that Mitch is gay. He married Kate on life and never fathered a child. He may be a golden girl

Posted by jeffy on March 17, 2013 at 7:42 PM

[lisping] Pridge, you are SO perssssseptive... you sound, tall.[/lisping]

Everyone please note, jeffy (above) is casting gay aspersions without a shred of evidence. This is what liberal defamation looks like FWIW.

Posted by GeneStoner on March 17, 2013 at 11:22 PM

I have a feeling GeneStoner, StrangersWorstNightmare, and that new one GangBangersMakeUs Safer are the same person. The capitalization and scattershot irrational hatred of all things decent shows through in all of them.

I know Andrew S. is one of our unregistered trolls, and would not be surprised if he is also the same person. The vein of entrenched racism and general stupidity runs through all of them pretty clearly.

Posted by Theodore Gorath on March 18, 2013 at 6:50 AM

@24 - Good observations. I've been thinking it's the latest reincarnation of MisterG, so while there's the same sort of phrasing, etc, GeneStoner at least doesn't hide its activity and it would make sense that they didn't get the reaction they were hoping for with SWN, so they went with something more... direct.

My guess is that Andrew S. is a separate troll from that group, but they all come from the same rotted out tree. They're also not swashbuckling heroes, which says all that remains to be said.

Posted by Pridge Wessea on March 18, 2013 at 3:22 PM

CPAC's message of " just lie to get elected then we can implement our agenda" doesn't seem to be working out so well for the party of STUPID. Rand Paul has some impressive educational credentials, at least on paper. You would think someone with that much education would understand that getting caught in your own lies, especially in front of a sharp and savvy audience like the one at Howard U. is not conducive to becoming POTUS. I'm voting for Hillary in the next election because she scares the crap outta these morons so bad that when she is done with them, they have to retreat to the boys' room and check their shorts. Republicans, the party of DOUCHE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by tony ballbreaker on April 10, 2013 at 7:08 PM