So far, the biggest splash at CPAC, the annual conservative conference, has been made by NRA Chairman Wayne LaPierre, who, according to National Review's The Corner, called for much bigger government by stationing police officers at every public school:

"There’s not a mom or a dad anywhere who wouldn’t feel safer seeing a police car in parking lot when they drop their kids off to school,” he said.

Acknowledging the ire that has been directed his way since December’s shooting, LaPierre announced, “I didn’t come here to be popular; I came here to stand for what I believe is true.” As for the elitists in the mainstream media and the nation’s capital: “Let them be damned,” he said.

Meanwhile, Marco Rubio sounded safe and uninteresting, causing lots of Republican pundits to claim he's Romney 2.0, and Rand Paul continued to push the party toward libertarianism. Politico immediately started pitting the two men against each other in a battle for the future of the party.

Also, Rick Perry said that the reason Republicans don't win presidential elections is that they keep picking candidates who are too damned liberal, Donald Trump said our government is run by "very stupid people," and Paul Ryan said the same stuff Paul Ryan has always said. And a few minutes ago, Mitt Romney basically admitted that he's a fuckup but pointed out that several Republican leaders could fuck up less than he did in the near future.

After the jump, find the full speeches. Perry's is probably the most interesting, in a Bizarro comedy sort of way.

Donald Trump:

Marco Rubio:


Rand Paul


Wayne LaPierre:

Rick Perry:

Paul Ryan: