by Dan Savage
on Wed, Mar 13, 2013 at 3:14 PM
I'm a 36-year-old gay man who's been in relationships on and off since the age of 18. I have pretty high, but not unreasonable standards when it comes to what I expect from my mate. The recurring theme that seems to end each relationship is a lie that usually end up in my complete lack of trust in that person. My last five-year relationship ended after I found out that my partner had been stealing money and goods from his employer. I ended up personally paying his former boss thousands to keep my name out of a police report as items were in my home. I'd have lost my job and retirement at even the slightest allegation that I was involved. I decided that the lies, lack of moral standing and erosion of trust were too much to salvage the relationship, and I called it quits.
I recently met a great guy that I'm insanely attracted to and really have grown to like. When we met he told me he was 43, and after some conversations I began to get suspicious. Turns out he's 50, something I wouldn't have given a shit about even if he told me up front. I confronted him about it and he finally came clean and explained his phobia on aging and stories of rejection based on his age. I told him in the beginning that trust and honesty were paramount to me. My instinct was to initially run, but I really care about him and my heart is still in it. Is my expectation of meeting a man who's 100% truthful an unattainable expectation?
Tales Really Unravel The Heart
My response after the jump.
And because that's kinda short, here's a bonus from the inbox. A video sent in by a reader: