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News & ArtsTuesday, March 12, 2013
LGBTQITSLFA We Can't Make Gay Marriage Legal Because Then Gay People Will Start Having Sex
Posted by Dan Savage on Tue, Mar 12, 2013 at 12:24 PM
This guy has been thinking long and hard about gay sex. But, um, was gay marriage legal in the 1980s when the AIDS epidemic was raging? Because I missed that somehow. Still, I was relieved to finally lose my virginity to Terry after we got legally married in Washington state last December. We'd been waiting such a long time. But true love waits, right?
2
Heteros have plenty of anal and oral sex too.
I guess the only really safe couple, according to this guy, are lesbians.
Of course, he completely left them out, as these dumbasses usually do.
And yeah, this guy has thought about anal sex way too much.
I guess the only really safe couple, according to this guy, are lesbians.
Of course, he completely left them out, as these dumbasses usually do.
And yeah, this guy has thought about anal sex way too much.
3
How about we make it illegal for moronic straight people to discuss gay sex in public? They should keep it in their churches where good people don't have to listen to their disgusting practices.
4
Idiots like this are a good thing, makes it more difficult for the bigots who try to appear slightly rational to keep up their prejudice.
And now for something completely different, y'all should check out today's Mister Deity and tell your friends, Mr. D. hit a home run on this one: "And I'm a Forman" (former-Mormon)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xfkHJmHYn…
And now for something completely different, y'all should check out today's Mister Deity and tell your friends, Mr. D. hit a home run on this one: "And I'm a Forman" (former-Mormon)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xfkHJmHYn…
5
It doesn’t look like he’s intentionally lying. It looks like he’s woefully misinformed. And how can a person be so misinformed here in The Information Age? Because right there on the internet, along with all the facts, is a mountain of bullshit, and we somehow have lost the ability to tell the difference. Instead of believing what’s most supported by the evidence, you can believe whatever you want and it’s easy to find something somewhere on the internet to support your belief. And if someone tries to correct you or to point out that your “evidence” is really bullshit, you can defend yourself by saying, “hey, I have a right to my opinion and you can have yours!” We want the decisions made by our government be based on facts instead of just random opinions, but that would require acknowledging that some people are experts who can be trusted to get things right a lot more often than any random person who can make a blog post.
Sadly, the democratization of knowledge is undermining democracy.
Sadly, the democratization of knowledge is undermining democracy.
6
Just under three minutes. I had the same thought I bet his wife has after they have sex: "Well, at least he got it over with quickly."
8
Did you know that the packet of enzymes at the head of the sperm can sodomize the intestine (after rashing the butt<--medical term)? Those little buggers can then go on a grand tour of your bloodstream, like rich kids did in Yurrup a hunnert years ago. It's true.
9
A little googling turns up a Mike Frey who is a Baptist minister in Minnesota. No idea if it's the same guy. If it is, that would explain a lot.
10
It would be funny if peoples rights weren't being denied. This is what the argument always comes down to: man on man sex. I'm gay, and I think anti-gay marriage activists spend more time thinking about gay sex than I do.
12
I... What?? No membrane???? WTF. Magical Semen-Enzyme Theory of AIDS?? Seriously? Does it surprise me that this ignorant bigot basically thinks men bleed semen after anal sex (or oral? Because he mentioned that too in his definition of sodomy)?
Flames, there are, FLAMES, at the side of my face...
Sincerely,
Biochemist-but-seriously-it-just-takes-a-basic-science-education.
Flames, there are, FLAMES, at the side of my face...
Sincerely,
Biochemist-but-seriously-it-just-takes-a-basic-science-education.
13
Aids is gay conception, huh? Never knew that! I love the way the Big Lie is always like 99% truth right up till that one little detail.
I think he's just afraid that if gays can get married, they will start having sex at home in their own beds, instead of sneaking out to meet up with him in the cruising park!
I guess since the problem is just sperm in rectums, he must believe lesbian marriages are just fine. Sperm free.
I think he's just afraid that if gays can get married, they will start having sex at home in their own beds, instead of sneaking out to meet up with him in the cruising park!
I guess since the problem is just sperm in rectums, he must believe lesbian marriages are just fine. Sperm free.
14
@7 - all you need is a magic internet penis ruler - then suddenly everyone has 14" penises and can easily reach the sigmoid colon.
15
Watching this with the Youtube automatic closed captions on is one of the more surreal and amusing things I've seen on the internet. "those who love Mary have sense"; "when the jacket nation occurs inside a big hole in his highly absorbent"
16
He's an authority because he starts out stating he's a Father AND a Husband. So he knows everything. Those two things alone make him an expert on Gay people.
17
@15 ha!
Seriously, and the "science" aside, I think this is one of the main issues with those who oppose same sex marriage. It's as if they believe that if those damn gays just didn't get married, they'd stop having that damned gay sex.
Not allowing people to marry has nothing to do with stopping them from having sex. Why doesn't someone point out this ridonculous fallacy?
Seriously, and the "science" aside, I think this is one of the main issues with those who oppose same sex marriage. It's as if they believe that if those damn gays just didn't get married, they'd stop having that damned gay sex.
Not allowing people to marry has nothing to do with stopping them from having sex. Why doesn't someone point out this ridonculous fallacy?
18
Quoth @10:
And given that, I think a big part of anti-gay marriage is motivated by resentment. These closet cases can't stop thinking about hot, hot gay buttseks but pushed down their natural urges to have passionless sex with their disappointed wives. They're pissed that guys who aren't such fucking cowards might get all the marriage perks that they sold their souls for.
It would be funny if peoples rights weren't being denied. This is what the argument always comes down to: man on man sex. I'm gay, and I think anti-gay marriage activists spend more time thinking about gay sex than I do.
And given that, I think a big part of anti-gay marriage is motivated by resentment. These closet cases can't stop thinking about hot, hot gay buttseks but pushed down their natural urges to have passionless sex with their disappointed wives. They're pissed that guys who aren't such fucking cowards might get all the marriage perks that they sold their souls for.
19
You know what would be really funny? If meanwhile, his 17-year-old daughter were taking it up the butt to "save her virginity" for marriage. (Well, not hilarious-funny, just ironic-funny. If she exists, and if she is, I hope she's doing it right. Patience, foreplay, lube, protection.)
Buttsex: a higher percentage of straight couples practice it than there are gay couples.
Buttsex: a higher percentage of straight couples practice it than there are gay couples.
20
sorry but my Beavis and Butthead mentality just couldn't get past "thinking long and hard about gay sex" hu hu hu hu, he said long and hard
22
And, of course, straight girls who want to stay virgins until marriage NEVER have anal sex or oral sex. Of course not, they wouldn't even think if it.
Would they?
Would they?
23
Because right there on the internet, along with all the facts, is a mountain of bullshit, and we somehow have lost the ability to tell the difference.
Speak for yourself, Nixon.
24
Holy sweet baby Jesus. This man genuinely has no idea how viruses work, and no idea how the human body works. In other news, I'm pretty sure my husband has been giving me AIDS for the entire course of our relationship. This video probably does more of a disservice to his message, and is good for the pro marriage equality side. It's also good for the "Creationism is not fucking science, because people actually come out of it sounding like this assclown" side.
25
So much stupid in under three minutes. A very good rate of stupidity per minute. Michele Bachmann and Sarah Palin better watch out.
27
What don't these people get about how once you get married you usually have sex less? If you want to lower rates of sinful sodomy, forced monogamous marriages for all gay folk!
28
Dan, as you have previously pointed out on numerous ocassions, you lost your virginity to a female. Only Terry was a virgin because anal and oral don't count. Come to think of it, isn't he still a virgin, regardless of whether you are married? It's the lack of vaginal thingy.
32
@27: I'm surprised it took so many comments for someone to say, "The best way to stop gay people from having sex is to make them get married!!1! DUH!!!"
It's funny cuz it's kinda true!
It's funny cuz it's kinda true!
33
@21: Oh my god, that's the problem. A man's body doesn't have a way of shutting that down. That's why we can't allow gay marriage. If we allow gay marriage, gays will start having sex, and they'll totally get pregnant. I bet we're going to start seeing a whole bunch of gay men giving birth around early August.
36
Now, I'm not a biologist by trade, but my understanding is that a male has an X and a Y chromosome, and a female has two X chromosomes. If a man and a woman have a baby, it gets one X chromosome from its mother, and either an X or a Y from its father, which will determine the gender of the baby. So a baby conceived by a man and a woman can only end up with either XX or XY; no other combinations are possible. Ever. In any way.
But if two men have sex, it would be possible for their child (which, again, would be inevitable, as their bodies are helpless to shut that down) to receive two Y chromosomes. Now, again, I'm not a biologist, but I would expect that that would mean the child would be born with two wieners, and no butt. It would probably have to poop out of its butt-wiener. And I imagine if a child got one of each, but in the wrong order, it would have its butt and its wiener switched around.
Now again, genetics is not my field of expertise, but I'm pretty sure that's how chromosomes work.
But if two men have sex, it would be possible for their child (which, again, would be inevitable, as their bodies are helpless to shut that down) to receive two Y chromosomes. Now, again, I'm not a biologist, but I would expect that that would mean the child would be born with two wieners, and no butt. It would probably have to poop out of its butt-wiener. And I imagine if a child got one of each, but in the wrong order, it would have its butt and its wiener switched around.
Now again, genetics is not my field of expertise, but I'm pretty sure that's how chromosomes work.
39
Definitely watch it again with automatic closed captioning. Another couple of great excerpts:
"was side box because twenty four hundred dollars for one course abuse I hurt you"
and "a very ross perot and wrote down in the uh... fancies but mile of these."
"was side box because twenty four hundred dollars for one course abuse I hurt you"
and "a very ross perot and wrote down in the uh... fancies but mile of these."
40
@18--your comments reminded me of an old joke:
A young man came out to his parents. "I'm gay," he said.
Tears collected in his mother's eyes. "We always suspected," she said, "And we love you just as we always have."
The father remained silent.
Later, the father took the son aside and said. "I'm gonna love you no matter what. But I'm curious about this gay thing. What exactly do two gay guys do?"
The son said, "Well, Dad, you know those things you're always trying to get Mom to do that she won't do? That's what we do."
A young man came out to his parents. "I'm gay," he said.
Tears collected in his mother's eyes. "We always suspected," she said, "And we love you just as we always have."
The father remained silent.
Later, the father took the son aside and said. "I'm gonna love you no matter what. But I'm curious about this gay thing. What exactly do two gay guys do?"
The son said, "Well, Dad, you know those things you're always trying to get Mom to do that she won't do? That's what we do."
42
Behold, the World's Stupidest Man, Mike Frey of Minnesota, aka: a graduate of the Michele Bachmann Family Planning and Human Sexuality University.Yes, 'butt enzymes.' They soak into your head after it's been up your butt since the start of elementary school and make you really dumb. And in case you're wondering. Mike is the Pastor at the Northern Lights Baptist (translation for extra stupid Christian) Church in Waconia, Minnesota. http://northernlightsbaptist.com/our-pas…
45
@43: Yeah, you really nailed the Achilles' heel of my preposterous hypothesis (preposthesis?) there.
46
What I learned from this is that if I legally marry my girlfriend then there is no doubt that sperm will end up in my anus. As a gay girl I, too, am now concerned.
47
I would have liked to see some reaction shots. Surely everyone in the chamber couldn't have been as deadpan as the Speaker?
48
Not only has he been thinking long and hard about gay sex, but his views are absolutely rigid, and his head is absolutely purple with rage. He's performed a deeply penetrating analysis, and has fully boned up on the subject, probing every corner. He's engorged with the knowledge he's winkled out of the tight-lipped subjects of his investigation, but after pumping them for information for hours, he's ready to take the ball in his hands, thrust himself into the limelight and ejaculate his truth from the dais.
49
Long ago, The Stranger ran a short story wherein a man's goatee was described as looking like a vagina (or vulva if you want to get pedantic). Since reading that story, that description has often popped into my head whenever I see a man sporting a goatee. This guy's face is not helping.
50
Lets tell all the straight people they can't have anal sex then!!!
This guy is so BDT...(back door trade).
This guy is so BDT...(back door trade).
53
Good thing women have that special cellular tissue in their vaginas that keeps them from being infected with the AIDS.
Our vaginas and uteri are freakin' magical with their ability to shut down that whole process of infection transmission and pregnancy by rape-delivered sperm.
Our vaginas and uteri are freakin' magical with their ability to shut down that whole process of infection transmission and pregnancy by rape-delivered sperm.
54
@43: If I've learned anything on teh intarwebs, it is never, ever, ever look up anything that someone suggests be looked up when the topic is sex, anatomy, or medicine.
Nope, no way, no how.
Nope, no way, no how.
55
It's a good thing he identified himself as a "concerned parent" (because, think of the children!) because I would have otherwise just thought he was just some raging moron.
I couldn't get past the first 30 seconds of his speech. As soon as he got into that stuff about what happens when you ejaculate into a vagina vs ejaculating into an anus, and barriers. It's easy to spot red flags like that for pseudoscience. He probably went on to say something about how that causes AIDS or something.
I couldn't get past the first 30 seconds of his speech. As soon as he got into that stuff about what happens when you ejaculate into a vagina vs ejaculating into an anus, and barriers. It's easy to spot red flags like that for pseudoscience. He probably went on to say something about how that causes AIDS or something.
56
You know how in cartoons they make noises as they rub their eyes when they can't believe what they're seeing? I just did that with my ears. Also, did he say Zymox? Because I have something by the same name that I put in my dog's ears to treat and prevent infections, and it doesn't cost $2500/dose. I'm pretty sure I spend $10/month on it, for once-a-week dosing...and I'm also pretty sure it doesn't treat AIDS...and it's OTC...
59
It's a well-known, scientific fact that sperm travel straight to the brain after anal sex, and destroy those parts of the mind that responsible for rational though, and understanding biology. This probably explains why Republicans are always making claims like "women can't get pregnant by rape", or "zygotes are people"., and mandating vaginal probes. Closet cases tend to direct their self-hatred outwards.
60
@18
Sorry, it's not about resentment. The cold hard truth is, it's mostly about 'disgust'. Most people in most societies in the world seem to have an inherent reaction of 'disgust' at the thought of man-on-man sex. It's visceral and nearly universal & this dude is representing that view well. He ain't gay, he's 'disgusted' as most people in the world seem to be. Don't believe me? Poll a bunch of people from non-western cultures about man-on-man sex & observe their instinctive winces, you'll see. Progressive people in the U.S./Europe only as of late have been trying to overcome that instinctual feeling, but it has taken work. For whatever reason, woman-on-woman sex doesn't provoke the same 'disgust' reaction in most people. Anyway, it's this natural 'disgust' instinct in most people that drives homophobia, not really 'hate.'
Sorry, it's not about resentment. The cold hard truth is, it's mostly about 'disgust'. Most people in most societies in the world seem to have an inherent reaction of 'disgust' at the thought of man-on-man sex. It's visceral and nearly universal & this dude is representing that view well. He ain't gay, he's 'disgusted' as most people in the world seem to be. Don't believe me? Poll a bunch of people from non-western cultures about man-on-man sex & observe their instinctive winces, you'll see. Progressive people in the U.S./Europe only as of late have been trying to overcome that instinctual feeling, but it has taken work. For whatever reason, woman-on-woman sex doesn't provoke the same 'disgust' reaction in most people. Anyway, it's this natural 'disgust' instinct in most people that drives homophobia, not really 'hate.'
61
@59: I realize you're joking, but your joke implies that anyone who's ever had unprotected anal sex is incapable of rational thought. We aren't all religious-right Republicans :/
62
@60 "Anyway, it's this natural 'disgust' instinct in most people that drives homophobia, not really 'hate.'"
You and Frey should go bowling.
You and Frey should go bowling.
63
@60 "Most people in most societies in the world seem to have an inherent reaction of 'disgust' at the thought of man-on-man sex. It's visceral and nearly universal "
What you're describing is the result of hundred of years of the Abrahamic religions' proscription of same-sex behaviour, under penalty of death. It's absolutely not "instinctual".
See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBT_histor… (extracts below) :
"The earliest documents concerning same-sex relationships come from Ancient Greece. Such relationships did not replace marriage between man and woman, but occurred before and beside it."
"In Roman patriarchal society, it was socially acceptable for an adult male citizen to take the penetrative role in same-sex relations."
"Homosexuality has been acknowledged in China since ancient times. Scholar Pan Guangdan (潘光旦) came to the conclusion that nearly every emperor in the Han Dynasty had one or more male sex partners. There are also descriptions of lesbians in some history books."
"In South Asia the Hijra are a caste of third-gender, or transgender group who live a feminine role. Hijra may be born male or intersex, and some may have been born female."
"In many societies of Melanesia, especially in Papua New Guinea, same-sex relationships were, until the middle of the last century, an integral part of the culture. The Etoro and Marind-anim for example, even viewed heterosexuality as sinful and celebrated homosexuality instead."
"Though often ignored or suppressed by European explorers and colonialists, homosexual expression in native Africa was also present and took a variety of forms. Anthropologists Stephen Murray and Will Roscoe reported that women in Lesotho engaged in socially sanctioned "long term, erotic relationships," named motsoalle."
More...
What you're describing is the result of hundred of years of the Abrahamic religions' proscription of same-sex behaviour, under penalty of death. It's absolutely not "instinctual".
See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBT_histor… (extracts below) :
"The earliest documents concerning same-sex relationships come from Ancient Greece. Such relationships did not replace marriage between man and woman, but occurred before and beside it."
"In Roman patriarchal society, it was socially acceptable for an adult male citizen to take the penetrative role in same-sex relations."
"Homosexuality has been acknowledged in China since ancient times. Scholar Pan Guangdan (潘光旦) came to the conclusion that nearly every emperor in the Han Dynasty had one or more male sex partners. There are also descriptions of lesbians in some history books."
"In South Asia the Hijra are a caste of third-gender, or transgender group who live a feminine role. Hijra may be born male or intersex, and some may have been born female."
"In many societies of Melanesia, especially in Papua New Guinea, same-sex relationships were, until the middle of the last century, an integral part of the culture. The Etoro and Marind-anim for example, even viewed heterosexuality as sinful and celebrated homosexuality instead."
"Though often ignored or suppressed by European explorers and colonialists, homosexual expression in native Africa was also present and took a variety of forms. Anthropologists Stephen Murray and Will Roscoe reported that women in Lesotho engaged in socially sanctioned "long term, erotic relationships," named motsoalle."
64
@62, no, I think that #60 has a point here, and there's maybe a way to get to an understanding with her/him, without turning her/him over to Frey.
@60 I think I understand now what you mean. You mean the same 'inherent reaction of disgust' that is expressed by both genders of western-civilization kiddies when they first learn of penis-in-vagina sex. Right ?
Yes, that exists. But those feelings of disgust towards PiV sex are not naturally held past puberty - except when there are religious types who severely insist on keeping them alive (check out the male Hasidic youth who are only told of PiV sex half an hour before their own marriage, and who faint or vomit upon learning of it - I think it's the Gur people).
Why should PiR sex be held to different standards that PiV ? Had you learned of penis-in-rectum sex at the same age you heard of penis-in-vagina, and had adults around you told you that it's a normal part of adult sexuality (heterosexual and homosexual), you would have overcome your initial childhood disgust by now.
Don't you think ?
@60 I think I understand now what you mean. You mean the same 'inherent reaction of disgust' that is expressed by both genders of western-civilization kiddies when they first learn of penis-in-vagina sex. Right ?
Yes, that exists. But those feelings of disgust towards PiV sex are not naturally held past puberty - except when there are religious types who severely insist on keeping them alive (check out the male Hasidic youth who are only told of PiV sex half an hour before their own marriage, and who faint or vomit upon learning of it - I think it's the Gur people).
Why should PiR sex be held to different standards that PiV ? Had you learned of penis-in-rectum sex at the same age you heard of penis-in-vagina, and had adults around you told you that it's a normal part of adult sexuality (heterosexual and homosexual), you would have overcome your initial childhood disgust by now.
Don't you think ?
66
http://northernlightsbaptist.com/our-pas…
Baptist minister with theatrical aspirations before he was "called by god". Yay for ignorance!
Baptist minister with theatrical aspirations before he was "called by god". Yay for ignorance!
67
@54: It's not gross at all. It's an abnormal karyotype, usually noted as X0 or 45, X. Basically, someone who has a single X chromosome and no Y chromosome.
Since most of the second X is inactivated anyway, they're effectively only missing the pseudo-autosomal region of one X chromosome, and so it's not as severe as missing any other chromosome. Affected individuals are phenotypically female and usually infertile. The condition is caused by a meiotic nondisjunction event, where the sex chromosomes don't segregate to the daughter cells properly.
Since most of the second X is inactivated anyway, they're effectively only missing the pseudo-autosomal region of one X chromosome, and so it's not as severe as missing any other chromosome. Affected individuals are phenotypically female and usually infertile. The condition is caused by a meiotic nondisjunction event, where the sex chromosomes don't segregate to the daughter cells properly.
68
Am I the only one that laughed out loud at "hands, feet, butt, mouth of these gay communities"? OH GOD THE GAY COMMUNITY'S MOUTH HAS BOILS ON IT
70
@65 - Wow. Just wow. I knew the ultra-orthodox were pretty screwed up, but I had no idea. Thanks for the pointer.
71
@60 - Revulsion to, say, bitter food or dissonant music seems pretty innate, too; and to be fair, a plurality of individuals probably never overcome those revulsions, either. I'm no more interested in whether everyone "accepts" homosexual acts than I am in whether everyone eats kale or listens to Bartok or Merzbow. I think everyone should, simply because these things (or at least the acceptance of these things) enrich my life and could enrich the lives of others, but each organism must find its own path, no?
Heck, as near as I can tell, most of us have a natural revulsion to work that we have to overcome in order to function.
Heck, as near as I can tell, most of us have a natural revulsion to work that we have to overcome in order to function.
72
@71- re: innate revulsion to bitter foods: you know that there are people who have heightened sensitivity to bitter taste. I believe it is a genetic trait. Therefore we'd be less likely to overcome that revulsion - or accustom ourselves to the bitterness - because for us it is much more bitter.
off topic I know. :)
off topic I know. :)
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