Slog
News & ArtsSaturday, March 9, 2013
Teh Internets My Information's Running Loose!
Posted by Dan Savage on Sat, Mar 9, 2013 at 3:08 PM
An alarming email just arrived:
From: teloaddm@gmail.com
Subject: De-Activation WARNING!!!
Date: March 9, 2013 1:53:27 PM PSTDear Email Account User,
You have exceeded the limit of your mailbox set by your Web service, and you will be having problems in sending and receiving mails, you may loose all your information's when your account is disabled. To prevent this kindly fill to upgrade your Email account so that your web account can be activated.
Names:
Username:
Password:
Confirm Password:
Country:Thanks & Regards
Upgrade Team Controller
I sure would hate for my information's to get loose. But something about this email seems fishy to me.
2
If I were more of a techie and knew I could protect my computer from harm while doing it, I'd follow the link and write "fuck you" in every field.
6
Send it to your web provider. In my case I would send it to spamreport@cox.net since Cox is my web provider.
Call your technical support and they will give you the correct email address to forward it to.
Good luck!
Call your technical support and they will give you the correct email address to forward it to.
Good luck!
7
Yeah, I just got one of those too. I filled it out right away. Don't wanna' run out of email, ya' know?
Wait...
Wait...
9
@8, GOD DAMN YOU YOU'RE THREE MINUTES AHEAD OF ME.
I am the Upgrade Team Controller. Pudgy 50ish white rapper. You know you want it.
I am the Upgrade Team Controller. Pudgy 50ish white rapper. You know you want it.
10
For a brief moment, I'd wondered if it could be legitimate. Given the number of emails Dan must receive, to say nothing of the length of some of those messages, I'd figure he might be the one person on the planet capable of causing a server to explode.
Do you really read them all? Seems like forever since you've done one of those awesome "Behind the Scenes at SL HQ" type columns. Love those.
Do you really read them all? Seems like forever since you've done one of those awesome "Behind the Scenes at SL HQ" type columns. Love those.
11
Nobody legit ever ever ever ever asks for a password via email - or a SSN or a credit card number.
But, Dan, if you want to share you credit card number with me? I'm so cool with that.
But, Dan, if you want to share you credit card number with me? I'm so cool with that.
12
All those dirty e-mails running loose on the internet. It would be hell to try and corral them again. Good luck with that.
13
Thank god you didn't loose your infirmation's, so many people do you know.
The AARP just sent out a reminder to their members that if they receive a notice that they've won a prize and all they have to do is send $250 to claim it, they should not do that because it's a scam.
It's hard to imagine there still exist in the universe people who will fall for these things.
The AARP just sent out a reminder to their members that if they receive a notice that they've won a prize and all they have to do is send $250 to claim it, they should not do that because it's a scam.
It's hard to imagine there still exist in the universe people who will fall for these things.
15
Oh, to read Dan Savage's loose emails. Given the stuff that gets printed in Savage Love, I wonder what the stuff you WON'T answer on Savage Love is like. Sure, most of it is probably boring, but some of them are no doubt so off the wall that reprinting it would be impossible thanks to the fits o laughter that would cause. THOSE are the emails I want to see.
20
17,
I am all in favor of rescuing homeless cats. What that has to do with Dan's emails, I'm not sure, but meow.
I am all in favor of rescuing homeless cats. What that has to do with Dan's emails, I'm not sure, but meow.
23
I have a homeless cat. Well, formerly homeless. He lived in our back yard for about 6 months before he would let anybody get close to him. He is super sweet.
24
You think you've got problems.
Did you ever think up something and think "this is the cleverest thing ever" like you're the first one ever to think it.
And then you go to Google and not only are you really the last to even know about it but there are whole clubs dedicated to it?
Like today, I did a long bike ride on the Interurban Trail all the way to Algona...which has become surprisingly nice. Then on the way back I do my traditional stop at Kent Station and have a snack or meal. In this case an "Orange Appeal" smoothie at Jamba Juice. I selected Zinc as my booster.
Ok so I'm enjoying my smoothie and this guy outside Cold Stone started belching loudly. So, it just came out of my mouth..."Brotard"...and it hung there. And after, for an hour while I took the bus up the hill, I'm thinking...genius. Brotard. I have to Tweet that.
Well...
https://www.facebook.com/pages/BroTard-N…
Yeah...exactly. It's been Urban Dictionized and had its neologism bubble popped a long time ago.
Did you ever think up something and think "this is the cleverest thing ever" like you're the first one ever to think it.
And then you go to Google and not only are you really the last to even know about it but there are whole clubs dedicated to it?
Like today, I did a long bike ride on the Interurban Trail all the way to Algona...which has become surprisingly nice. Then on the way back I do my traditional stop at Kent Station and have a snack or meal. In this case an "Orange Appeal" smoothie at Jamba Juice. I selected Zinc as my booster.
Ok so I'm enjoying my smoothie and this guy outside Cold Stone started belching loudly. So, it just came out of my mouth..."Brotard"...and it hung there. And after, for an hour while I took the bus up the hill, I'm thinking...genius. Brotard. I have to Tweet that.
Well...
https://www.facebook.com/pages/BroTard-N…
Yeah...exactly. It's been Urban Dictionized and had its neologism bubble popped a long time ago.
25
This has got to be the most blatant I have every seen! I want your password, I think I will just ASK for it. And I bet that is how Google, Microsoft and Apple just got hacked!
26
I think it might be entertaining to let a Nigerian prince write your Savage Love column for a while. And you could work together to expatriate his treasure unfairly trapped in the US banking system.
29
@ 20, That's a joke, son. A flag waver. You're built too low. The fast ones go over your head. Ya got a hole in your glove. I keep pitchin' 'em and you keep missin' 'em. Ya gotta keep your eye on the ball. Eye. Ball. I almost had a gag, son. Joke, that is.
31
@24 worse. Around 2004 I thought "wouldn't it be cool if there were some kind of website where anyone could upload video clips you've just made so the whole world would be able to see it?"
Then I forgot my idea until about a year later when some people called Youtube started just that.
Then I forgot my idea until about a year later when some people called Youtube started just that.
32
Surprised no one has said this yet, Dan's information's on the loose. He needs a CB-6000. Baaad information's!
33
@31 (myself) of course there were many video sharing sites in 2005, and I did not think of such a cool name in 2004, and had no tech connections, so even if I had started one in 2004 I probably would not have hit the jackpot
35
"Fill to upgrade"? A capital "Web" here and a lowercase "web" there? "Sending and receiving mails"? "Information's" with an apostrophe? "Names"? "Loose"?
It's people like Mr. Savage who keep proofreaders in business. "You should hire me. Most people say they don't care about errors, but these very mistakes make the content look fishy."
It's people like Mr. Savage who keep proofreaders in business. "You should hire me. Most people say they don't care about errors, but these very mistakes make the content look fishy."
36
These emails are intentionally poorly written.
They want ignorant marks to respond, because once someone responds it starts costing them time, and they are interested in maximizing the return on that time. They want people with a clue to laugh and delete and maybe post something snarky on their blog. But they certainly don't want them to respond, so they litter the email with signals that it's scammy.
It's actually depressingly clever.
http://research.microsoft.com/pubs/16771…
They want ignorant marks to respond, because once someone responds it starts costing them time, and they are interested in maximizing the return on that time. They want people with a clue to laugh and delete and maybe post something snarky on their blog. But they certainly don't want them to respond, so they litter the email with signals that it's scammy.
It's actually depressingly clever.
http://research.microsoft.com/pubs/16771…
38
I have enough respect for the people I cheat to use accurate spelling, grammar, and punctuation. I'm still wondering when my Nigerian princess will show up.
41
Sounds legit. Give 'em the info Dan. Otherwise the Upgrade Team Controller will disable your mails. And you don't want people on the Internet laughing at you, do you?
42
@40 (and @36) Agreed - that is interesting. Although I think that principle is understandable without the need for all that statistical analysis: weed out the hard cases & smart alecks and get straight to the suckers. Same reason a smart telemarketer hangs up fast when they can tell you're not going to buy.
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