On Monday afternoon, a Seattle man was walking through an alley near the downtown waterfront "en route to meet his pastor... where they were to discuss the duality of man and the redemption of the human soul," said a Seattle police report. His religious quest came to an abrupt end when two men stopped him and allegedly tried to sell him crack cocaine.

Officer Williams says that since the man was on his way "to meet his spiritual guide, he declined to make a purchase." The two suspected crack salesmen, perturbed by the soul-searching man's lack of desire for crack, allegedly beat him with a walking cane and stole $50 dollars he "happened to have in his front pocket... along with four hundred dollars that was in his wallet," police say.

The man fled the scene and contacted a local King County deputy. He provided an undisclosed name to the officer, but "a routine check could find no proof of existence for this person," police say. Officers Williams discovered the true identity of the man—that is, the man who was walking through alleyways with hundreds of dollars in his pocket on a spiritual quest—through a recent booking photo.

The man was uninjured, but the police report did not provide any details on the state of his immortal soul.