Because the heart wants what the heart wants and my heart wants this. I want to blog in it. I want to play hide-n-seek in it. I want to attend a municipal court hearing for a minor driving infraction in it. I want to give birth in it. I want to run a PTA in it with an iron fist. I want to parachute down from the roof of a moderately tall building in it, with a matching parasol. I want to wear it to Hugo Chavez's funeral**. When I die, I want to be buried in it. I want my corpse to be exhumed 500 years from now and I want that tacky dress to blind whoever exhumes me with a little mummy's curse razzle dazzle.